Dear Panicking Reddit (and Facebook) User

 Nick Freitas posted this on X today, and I thought it was something we all needed to hear.  NOTE THAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE HUMOR!

Dear panicking Reddit user, Hi, I’m part of the transition team that will help you navigate the massive changes that will be taking place under part two of the Trump administration. I understand that you have been led to believe that you will all be sent to concentration camps…(well those of you who aren’t deported…JK) but the truth is a lot more boring. So, first of all, none of you are going to be arrested, fined, jailed, have your property confiscated or sold into slavery. I know your gender studies professor has been claiming otherwise since March, but the only people actually in danger of anything bad happening to them are those who actually break the law, and they will still get due process. Well them and the excess government bureaucrats who are about to lose their tax payer supported jobs, but even they will probably get a nice severance. You on the other hand will be able to pretty much continue life as normal. Censorship is no longer the currency of the realm, so feel free to continue melting down on Reddit without fear of retribution from the government. You’re free to hate Donald Trump, me, the founders, the color white, math, working out, guns your parents and everyone ignoring you on Tinder. You won’t be censored, de platformed or have trumped up (pun intended) charges brought against you for disagreeing with the government. Now, on the other hand you won’t be getting your school loans paid for by the taxes of the hard working plumber you think you’re better than, but other than that, you are free to live in your mothers basement while you wait for that job that pays you “what you deserve” for all that education you received in lesbian dance theory. Also, good news. Your taxes are going to be reduced, which probably doesn’t matter a whole lot to you because you don’t pay any, but your parents are really going to appreciate it! Also there will almost certainly be a lot more job opportunities and a much better environment to start a business. Which again…probably won’t matter to you immediately, but you will appreciate the additional access to goods and services due to increased capital investment, which you no doubt dream about one day seizing just as soon as the Democratic Socialists of America figure out which pronouns to use on their call to arms. Also, if you do plan to step outside and touch grass, you will be significantly less likely to get mugged or step on a hypodermic needle. (Unless you live in San Francisco…we’ll try to clean it up but the 10th amendment says they’re allowed to live in filth if they so choose.) If you have any questions, our number can be found on the back of any job application, so this may be the last time we will communicate. Thanks again, welcome back to America!

Thanks, Nick, for the humor, wisdom and predictions of the next four years.

The Heaviest Element: Governmentium

 This headline in Nature magazine caught my eye:

Heaviest element yet within reach after major breakthrough

Researchers have demonstrated a new way to make superheavy elements, offering a method to create element 120 — which would be the heaviest element ever made.

Scientists at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in Berkeley, California, announced today that they have for the first time used a beam of titanium to make a known superheavy element, livermorium — element 116. After upgrading the lab’s equipment, the team plans to use similar techniques to try to produce element 120.

Prediction: the new heaviest element known to the universe will surely turn out to be Governmentium:

The new element, governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, according to the team of research scientists in Budapest, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

Ten Commandments For Seniors

 These are all true and I try to follow them:..

Unbelievable Quote From Chairman of Council of Economic Advisors

The question in an interview with Charlie Kirk was "Like you say, they print the dollar, so why does the government even borrow?"

Who said this?  The Chairman of President Biden's Council of Economic Advisors at the White House.  His name is Jared Bernstein.  He's on TV news a lot supporting the Biden Administration economic policies.  Bad day?  Or just incompetent?  It would be funny if not so sad.  

ore commentary at https://wattsupwiththat.com/2024/05/11/the-invincible-ignorance-of-the-western-governing-class/

Did he ask him to explain the causes of inflation also?  

Our economy and country are in the finest hands I've ever seen!

The Karl Marx Gospel

 

The Land That Made Me Me!!

 I ran across this again today...

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,

Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.

There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me.

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,

Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,

Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'

And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,

And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see

A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,

And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,

Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,

And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,

And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,

At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,

And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,

And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,

Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,

And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,

And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,

And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,

And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,

And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,

And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,

We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea

Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,

And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill

And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,

And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,

And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

They send us invitations to join AARP,

We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,

And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.

And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,

Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

If you didn't grow up in the fiftys, You missed the greatest time in history, Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.

Why Standard Railroad Tracks Are the Width They Are

 Things you didn't learn in grade school...

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Well, because that's the way they built them in England, and English engineers designed the first US railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the wagon tramways, and that's the gauge they used. So, why did 'they' use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break more often on some of the old, long-distance roads in England. You see, that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long-distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since. And what about the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match or run the risk of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's a*s came up with this?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses (Two horses' a*ses.).

Now, the twist to the story: When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses behind.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's as. And you thought being a horse wasn't important? Ancient horses as*es control almost everything.

Biden vs. Trump Inflation Chart

 38 months into their presidencies:

Reference:  https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2024/04/the-daily-chart-bidenflation-by-the-numbers.php

Good Advice From Louie (Age 72)

 Here’s 34 things I’ve learned that I hope help you in your journey:

1. It’s usually better to be nice than right.
2. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. 
3. Work on a passion project, even just 30 minutes a day. It compounds.
4. Become a lifelong learner (best tip).
5. Working from 7am to 7pm isn’t productivity. It’s guilt.
6. To be really successful become useful.
7. Like houses in need of repair, problems usually don’t fix themselves.
8. Envy is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die.
9. Don’t hold onto your “great idea” until it’s too late.
10. People aren’t thinking about you as much as you think. 
11. Being grateful is a cheat sheet for happiness. (Especially today.)
12. Write your life plan with a pencil that has an eraser. 
13. Choose your own path or someone will choose it for you.
14. Never say, I’ll never…
15. Not all advice is created equal.
16. Be the first one to smile.
17. The expense of something special is forgotten quickly. The experience lasts a lifetime. Do it.
18. Don’t say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. 
19. It’s not how much money you make. It’s how much you take home.
20. Feeling good is better than that “third” slice of pizza.
21. Who you become is more important than what you accomplish. 
22. Nobody gets to their death bed and says, I’m sorry for trying so many things.
23. There are always going to be obstacles in your life. Especially if you go after big things.
24. The emptiest head rattles the loudest.
25. If you don’t let some things go, they eat you alive.
26. Try to spend 12 minutes a day in quiet reflection, meditation, or prayer.
27. Try new things. If it doesn’t work out, stop. At least you tried.
28. NEVER criticize, blame, or complain.  
29. You can’t control everything. Focus on what you can control.
30. If you think you have it tough, look around.
31. It’s only over when you say it is.
32. One hand washes the other and together they get clean. Help someone else.
33. Pobody's Nerfect
34. I'll Believe It When I See It.

If you’re lucky enough to get up to my age, the view becomes more clear. It may seem like nothing good is happening to you, or just the opposite. Both will probably change over time. 

Hey Boomer...

 

The Lucky Pastor

 Just for grins ...

One Sunday, when counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.

It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

“Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated.

“Why Yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church.”

The pastor replied, “That’s wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this. How much does he send you”

The elderly woman answered, “$10,000 a week.”

The pastor was amazed. “Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?”

“He is a veterinarian,” she answered.

“That’s an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money,” the pastor said. “Where does he practice?”

The woman answered proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cathouses – one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno.”

I Always Wondered About This

 

I Love American English Spellings

 

I'm Sure Sharon didn't Laugh ... But I Did

 

Wildest Christmas Story Ever

As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty.

One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown.

If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, "What does this do?" "You're kidding me!" "Who would buy that?" Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section.

I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the carpool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. "Love Dolls" come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for "Lovable Louise." She was at the bottom of the price scale.

To call Louise a "doll" took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours.

The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog VERY confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner.

My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. "What the hell is that?" she asked.

My brother quickly explained, "It's a doll."

"Who would play with something like that?" Granny snapped. I kept my mouth shut.

"Where are her clothes?" Granny continued.

"Boy, that turkey sure smells nice, Gran," Jay said really loud to steer her into dining room. But Granny was relentless. "Why doesn't she have any teeth?"

Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, "Hang on Granny, and hang on!"

My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, "Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?" I told him she was Jay's friend.

A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home.

The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the mantel, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants.

Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember.

Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health.

I can't wait until next Christmas!

**********************************************************************

Giving credit where credit is due:

“Wildest Christmas Dinner”

Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy in a book published in 1996

An interesting observation...

 

All I Really Need to Know ...

 

Old Testament Genealogy

 

Why?????

 From my friend Helen who copied it from someone else:

*  Why is it when archaeologists find human remains, they always determine that they are either male or female and none of the other hundreds of genders?

 *  Why is it that so many are more outraged that Brittney Griner was stuck in Russia than they were about Americans being stranded in Afghanistan?

  • How is it that the government can’t control gasoline prices…but the weather is something they can fix?

• We’re churning out a generation of poorly educated people with no skill, no ambition, no guidance, and no realistic expectations of what it means to go to work.—Mike Rowe

 • If kids knew what they wanted to be at age eight, the world would be filled with cowboys and princesses. I wanted to be a pirate. Thank goodness nobody took me seriously and scheduled me for eye removal and peg leg surgery. —Bill Maher

 • Why were we told to lower our AC usage on hot days to prevent overwhelming the electric grid while simultaneously being told to trade in our gas cars for electric vehicles?

 • Why is canceling student debt a good idea? Does it make sense to reward people who do not honor their financial commitment by taxing the people who do?

 • Does it make sense to cut off oil from an ally and buy it from an enemy who calls for your death?

 • Are we living in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended?

 • Is this a great description of America: Andy has left town and Barney is in charge?

 • Why is talking sexually in the workplace considered sexual harassment to adults…but talking about sexuality to children K-3 at school is considered education?

 • Who else had a ‘ministry of truth”…Hitler…Goebbels…Stalin...Mao

 • Eliminating the production of 500,000 American barrels of oil a day to buy 500,000 barrels a day from Russia is simply…well…stupid.

 • I saw a movie where only the police and military had guns; it was called Schindler’s List.

 • If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?

 • Why are we running out of money for Social Security and Medicare and not for welfare, illegals and free college?

 • I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted, it was for my lawn mower, but I'm trying to stay positive.

 • There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common sense.

 • If a 17 year old isn’t mature enough to legally own a firearm or drink alcohol, then maybe five year olds aren’t mature enough to change their gender.  

 • Sign in Texas:  "DON’T VOTE FOR WHAT YOU FLED!"

 • Nobody called it “Toxic Masculinity" when we were saving the world.

 • Mice die in mouse traps because they do not understand why the cheese is free. Just like socialism.

 • The most powerful governments on earth can’t stop a virus from spreading…but they say they can change the earth’s temperature if you pay more taxes

 • Want to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s how gun control and COVID lockdowns work.

 • If you don’t want to stand for the national anthem, perhaps you should give your legs to a veteran who lost his. That way a real man can stand in your place.

 • If socialism is so good and capitalism is so bad…then why aren’t the caravans heading to Venezuela?

 History is not there for us to like or dislike. It is there for us to learn from. And if it offends you, even better…because then you are less likely to repeat it. It is not anyone’s to erase…it belongs to all of us.

Helen seems to be smarter and wiser than half our population!

Names of Things You Don't Know

 From Facebook: