She's Going to a ... Convention

A man boarded an aircraft at London’s Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo – she took the seat right beside him.

‘Hello’, he blurted out, ‘Business trip or vacation?’

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, ‘Business. I’m going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States.’

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, ‘What’s your business role at this convention?’ ‘Lecturer,’ she responded.’I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.’

‘Really’, he smiled, ‘what myths are those?’

‘Well,’ she explained, ‘one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it’s the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.’

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said ‘I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don’t even know your name!’

‘Tonto,’ the man said. ‘Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.’

We Live in a Bizarre World...

Thank you, Bill:

We are living in a Bizarre World

If a mentally-ill dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

It’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

Russians influencing our elections are bad, but Mexicans voting in our elections are good.

It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.

Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.

It’s wrong to steal, but it’s cool to demand that the government steal for you.

Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance, and then they are forced to buy it for illegals.

People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.

Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.

We demand that the government be in control of our health care, but then we are outraged when the government makes our health care decisions.

$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.

If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

It’s terrible when the President says that Puerto Rico’s politicians are corrupt, but it’s wonderful when Puerto Rico’s politicians are kicked out of office for corruption.

We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.

Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.