This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time.. The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.. This guy should run for President one day...
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth.. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes ..
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair..
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.. (AMEN!)
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage.. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!
Friday, October 02, 2009
Old is Gold
From my email...
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 75). We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response....
'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 75). We decided to grab a bite at the food court.
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue.
My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response....
'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Inmates running the asylum
from my email...
This should be read and understood by all Americans—Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature, it is now official—you are ALL corrupt morons:
The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775—you have had 234 years to get it right—and it is broke.
Social Security was established in 1935—you have had 74 years to get it right—and it is broke.
This should be read and understood by all Americans—Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature, it is now official—you are ALL corrupt morons:
The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775—you have had 234 years to get it right—and it is broke.
Social Security was established in 1935—you have had 74 years to get it right—and it is broke.
Fannie Mae was established in 1938—you have had 71 years to get it right—and it is broke.
War on Poverty started in 1964—you have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor"—and they only want more.
Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965—you have had 44 years to get it right—and they are broke.
Freddie Mac was established in 1970—you have had 39 years to get it right—and it is broke.
The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil, it has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before—you had 32 years to get it right—and it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars—AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??
Freddie Mac was established in 1970—you have had 39 years to get it right—and it is broke.
The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil, it has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before—you had 32 years to get it right—and it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars—AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??
Are you crazy, or do you just believe all Americans are morons too??? Truly, the inmates are running the asylum—and what does this say about us, as voters who put such idiots in office?? If we do not vote against EVERY incumbent currently in office—we are ALL morons, regardless of our political leanings.
Top Ten Puns
Here are the ten first place winners in the International Pun Contest:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too..
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!'
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain; they named him 'Juan'. The other went to family in Egypt and was named 'Ahmal'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good!) 'super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis'.
10. And finally... there was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too..
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. 'But why?' they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!'
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to Spain; they named him 'Juan'. The other went to family in Egypt and was named 'Ahmal'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good!) 'super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis'.
10. And finally... there was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Politics in a nutshell
From my email...
Think about it. This couldn't be closer to the truth.
Conservative vs Liberal
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders ho is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God or religion silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
Think about it. This couldn't be closer to the truth.
Conservative vs Liberal
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful. Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders ho is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God or religion silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
You are a Californian if ...
So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan stories, somebody had to come up with this, to know you're from California.
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember .. . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember .. . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
10. Gas costs a $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember .. . .is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember .. . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember .. . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
10. Gas costs a $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember .. . .is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
Three Texas Blondes
Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, 'So y'all want to be cops, huh?' The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, 'To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth.'
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. 'Now,' he said, 'did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?'
The blonde immediately said, 'Yes, I did. He has only one eye!'
The detective shook his head and said, 'Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!' The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, said, 'What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?' 'Yes! He only has one ear!'
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, 'Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!' The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, 'This is probably a waste of time, but... He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, 'All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?'
The blonde said, 'I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.' The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, 'You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?'
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, 'Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.'
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, 'To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth.'
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. 'Now,' he said, 'did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?'
The blonde immediately said, 'Yes, I did. He has only one eye!'
The detective shook his head and said, 'Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!' The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, said, 'What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?' 'Yes! He only has one ear!'
The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, 'Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!' The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, 'This is probably a waste of time, but... He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, 'All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?'
The blonde said, 'I sure did. This man wears contact lenses.' The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder.
He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, 'You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?'
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, 'Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses.'
Wisdom - from the manual
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." -- Infantry Journal
---------------------------------------------
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." --U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -- General MacArthur
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"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." -- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways." -- U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds." -- - Infantry Journal
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper....Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -- Unknown Marine Recruit
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Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don't Mess with it, if it Works! -- USAF Electronic Technician
------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him." -- USAF - Ammo Troop
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"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." -- Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )
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A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude: Latitude is Where We are Lost, & Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There! -- USAF Navi-guesser
---------------------------------------------
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
---------------------------------------------
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter --
However, it's probably unsafe in any case "
---------------------------------------------
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, You always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
---------------------------------------------
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot fowls up, the pilot dies; If ATC fowls up, .... The pilot dies."
---------------------------------------------
" Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."
---------------------------------------------
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation. We never left one up there!"
---------------------------------------------
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
---------------------------------------------
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
---------------------------------------------
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." -- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
---------------------------------------------
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
---------------------------------------------
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked When it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."
---------------------------------------------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself
---------------------------------------------
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." --U.S. Air Force Manual
---------------------------------------------
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -- General MacArthur
---------------------------------------------
"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." -- U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
---------------------------------------------
"Tracers work both ways." -- U.S. Army Ordnance
---------------------------------------------
"Five second fuses only last three seconds." -- - Infantry Journal
---------------------------------------------
"Any ship can be a minesweeper....Once."
---------------------------------------------
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -- Unknown Marine Recruit
---------------------------------------------
Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don't Mess with it, if it Works! -- USAF Electronic Technician
------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him." -- USAF - Ammo Troop
---------------------------------------------
"Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
---------------------------------------------
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." -- Paul F. Crickmore ( test pilot )
---------------------------------------------
A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude: Latitude is Where We are Lost, & Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There! -- USAF Navi-guesser
---------------------------------------------
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
---------------------------------------------
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter --
However, it's probably unsafe in any case "
---------------------------------------------
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, You always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
---------------------------------------------
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot fowls up, the pilot dies; If ATC fowls up, .... The pilot dies."
---------------------------------------------
" Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."
---------------------------------------------
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation. We never left one up there!"
---------------------------------------------
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
---------------------------------------------
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."
- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
---------------------------------------------
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." -- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
---------------------------------------------
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
---------------------------------------------
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked When it takes FULL power to taxi to the terminal."
---------------------------------------------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself
Who to blame?
From my email --
If a man cuts his finger off while Slicing salami at work, He blames the restaurant.
If you smoke three packs a day For 40 years and die of lung cancer, Your family blames the Tobacco company..
If your neighbor crashes Into a tree while driving home drunk, He blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are Brats without manners, You blame television.
If your friend is shot by a Deranged madman, You blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks Into the cockpit and Tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, And the passengers Kill him instead, The mother of the crazed deceased Blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to Understand the world As it is anymore.
So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to Blame Bill Gates.
If a man cuts his finger off while Slicing salami at work, He blames the restaurant.
If you smoke three packs a day For 40 years and die of lung cancer, Your family blames the Tobacco company..
If your neighbor crashes Into a tree while driving home drunk, He blames the bartender.
If your grandchildren are Brats without manners, You blame television.
If your friend is shot by a Deranged madman, You blame the gun manufacturer.
And if a crazed person breaks Into the cockpit and Tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, And the passengers Kill him instead, The mother of the crazed deceased Blames the airline.
I must have lived too long to Understand the world As it is anymore.
So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to Blame Bill Gates.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Ice Cream!
From my email --
We are worried about "the cow" when it is all about the "Ice Cream."
The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.
To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded and he sat down.
Now it was Olivia's turn to speak. Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream." She sat down. The class went wild. "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."
She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.
Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 52 percent of the people reacted like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other 48 percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess."
Remember: The government cannot give anything to anyone that they have not first taken away from someone else!
We are worried about "the cow" when it is all about the "Ice Cream."
The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.. We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.
To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.
The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia's mother.
The day arrived when they were to make their speeches. Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Everyone applauded and he sat down.
Now it was Olivia's turn to speak. Her speech was concise. She said, "If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream." She sat down. The class went wild. "Yes! Yes! We want ice cream."
She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn't sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn't know. The class really didn't care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.
Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.
Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 52 percent of the people reacted like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other 48 percent know they're going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess."
Remember: The government cannot give anything to anyone that they have not first taken away from someone else!
How do they survive?
From my email ---
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
---------------------------
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
----------------------------------
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
-----------------------------------
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me . As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
-----------------------------------
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do? Just use copier machine paper, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
----------------------------------
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!
Life is tough... it's tougher if you're stupid!
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
---------------------------
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
----------------------------------
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
-----------------------------------
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me . As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
-----------------------------------
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do? Just use copier machine paper, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
----------------------------------
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!
Life is tough... it's tougher if you're stupid!
Ronnie was the best!
'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.' -- Ronald Reagan 'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' -- Ronald Reagan
'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.' -- Ronald Reagan
'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.' -- Ronald Reagan
'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other..' -- Ronald Reagan
'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.' -- Ronald Reagan
'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' -- Ronald Reagan
'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.' -- Ronald Reagan
'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' -- Ronald Reagan
'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S. was too strong.' -- Ronald Reagan
'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.' -- Ronald Reagan
'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other..' -- Ronald Reagan
'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.' -- Ronald Reagan
'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.' -- Ronald Reagan
'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' -- Ronald Reagan
'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.' -- Ronald Reagan
'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' -- Ronald Reagan
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Will this ever happen in america?
From my email:
What would you say if I gave you 11 reasons why the elections in 2010 will be the most important in the history of the United States ?
1. What if I had told you in October 2008, before the last presidential election, that before Barack Obama's first 100 days in office, the federal government would be in control of both the mortgage and the banking industries? That 19 of America 's largest banks would be forced to undergo stress tests by the federal government which would determine if they were insufficiently capitalized, so they must be supervised by the government? Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
2. What if I had told you that within Barack Obama's first 100 days in office the federal government would be the largest shareholder in the US Big-Three automakers: Ford, GM, and Chrysler? That the government would kick out the CEO's of these companies and appoint hand-picked executives with zero experience in the auto industry and that executive compensation would be determined, not by a Board of Directors, but by the government? Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
3. What if I had told you that Barack Obama would appoint 32 Czars, without congressional approval, accountable only to him, not to the voters, who would have control over a wide range of US policy decisions. That there would be a Stimulus Accountability Czar, an Urban Czar, a Compensation Czar, an Iran Czar, an Auto Industry Czar,a Cyber Security Czar, an Energy Czar, a Bank Bailout Czar, and more than a dozen other government bureaucrats with unchecked regulatory powers over US domestic and foreign policy. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
4. What if I had told you that the federal deficit would be $915 billion in the first six months of the Obama presidency - with a projected annual deficit of $1.75 trillion - triple the $454.8 billion in 2008, for which the previous administration was highly criticized by Obama and his fellow Democrats. That Congress would pass Obama's $3.53 trillion federal budget for fiscal 2010. That the projected deficit over the next ten years would be greater than $10 trillion. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
5. What if I had told you that the Obama Justice Department would order FBI agents to read Miranda rights to high-value detainees captured on the battlefield and held at US military detention facilities in Afghanistan . That Obama would order the closing of the Guantanamo detention facility with no plan for the disposition of the 200-plus individuals held there. That several of the suspected terrorists at Guantanamo would be sent to live in freedom in Bermuda at the expense of the US government. That our returning US veterans would be labeled terrorists and put on a watch list. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
6. What if I had told you that the federal government would seek powers to seize key companies whose failures could jeopardize the financial system. That a new regulatory agency would be proposed by Obama to control loans, credit cards, mortgage-backed securities, and other financial products offered to the public. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
7. What if I had told you that Obama would travel to the Middle East , bow before the Saudi king, and repeatedly apologize for America 's past actions. That he would travel to Latin America where he would warmly greet Venezuela 's strongman Hugo Chavez and sit passively in the audience while Nicaraguan Marxist thug Daniel Ortega charged America with terrorist aggression in Central America . Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
8. Okay, now what if I were to tell you that Obama wants to dismantle conservative talk radio through the imposition of a new "Fairness Doctrine." That he wants to curtail the First Amendment rights of those who may disagree with his policies via Internet blogs, cable news networks, or advocacy ads. That most major network television and most newspapers will only sing his phrases like state-run media in communist countries? Would you say, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
9. What if I were to tell you that the Obama Justice Department is doing everything it can to limit your Second Amendment rights to keep and bear arms. That the federal government wants to reinstate the so-called assault weapons ban which would prohibit the sale of any type of firearm that requires the shooter to pull the trigger every time a round is fired. That Obama's Attorney General wants to eliminate the sale of virtually all handguns and ammunition, which most citizens choose for self-defense. Would you say, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
10. What if I were to tell you that the Obama plan is to eliminate states rights guaranteed by the Tenth Amendment and give the federal government sweeping new powers over policies currently under the province of local and state governments and voted on by the people. That Obama plans to control the schools, energy production, the environment, health care, and the wealth of every US citizen. Would you say, "C'mon, that will never happen in America."
11. What if I were to tell you that the president, the courts, and he federal government have ignored the US Constitution and have seized powers which the founders of our country fought to restrict. That our last presidential election may have been our last truly free election for some time to come. That our next presidential election may look similar to the one recently held in Iran. (And maybe under review by ACORN.) I know, I know what you will say. That will never happen in America.
What would you say if I gave you 11 reasons why the elections in 2010 will be the most important in the history of the United States ?
1. What if I had told you in October 2008, before the last presidential election, that before Barack Obama's first 100 days in office, the federal government would be in control of both the mortgage and the banking industries? That 19 of America 's largest banks would be forced to undergo stress tests by the federal government which would determine if they were insufficiently capitalized, so they must be supervised by the government? Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
2. What if I had told you that within Barack Obama's first 100 days in office the federal government would be the largest shareholder in the US Big-Three automakers: Ford, GM, and Chrysler? That the government would kick out the CEO's of these companies and appoint hand-picked executives with zero experience in the auto industry and that executive compensation would be determined, not by a Board of Directors, but by the government? Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
3. What if I had told you that Barack Obama would appoint 32 Czars, without congressional approval, accountable only to him, not to the voters, who would have control over a wide range of US policy decisions. That there would be a Stimulus Accountability Czar, an Urban Czar, a Compensation Czar, an Iran Czar, an Auto Industry Czar,a Cyber Security Czar, an Energy Czar, a Bank Bailout Czar, and more than a dozen other government bureaucrats with unchecked regulatory powers over US domestic and foreign policy. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
4. What if I had told you that the federal deficit would be $915 billion in the first six months of the Obama presidency - with a projected annual deficit of $1.75 trillion - triple the $454.8 billion in 2008, for which the previous administration was highly criticized by Obama and his fellow Democrats. That Congress would pass Obama's $3.53 trillion federal budget for fiscal 2010. That the projected deficit over the next ten years would be greater than $10 trillion. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
5. What if I had told you that the Obama Justice Department would order FBI agents to read Miranda rights to high-value detainees captured on the battlefield and held at US military detention facilities in Afghanistan . That Obama would order the closing of the Guantanamo detention facility with no plan for the disposition of the 200-plus individuals held there. That several of the suspected terrorists at Guantanamo would be sent to live in freedom in Bermuda at the expense of the US government. That our returning US veterans would be labeled terrorists and put on a watch list. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
6. What if I had told you that the federal government would seek powers to seize key companies whose failures could jeopardize the financial system. That a new regulatory agency would be proposed by Obama to control loans, credit cards, mortgage-backed securities, and other financial products offered to the public. Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
7. What if I had told you that Obama would travel to the Middle East , bow before the Saudi king, and repeatedly apologize for America 's past actions. That he would travel to Latin America where he would warmly greet Venezuela 's strongman Hugo Chavez and sit passively in the audience while Nicaraguan Marxist thug Daniel Ortega charged America with terrorist aggression in Central America . Would you have said, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
8. Okay, now what if I were to tell you that Obama wants to dismantle conservative talk radio through the imposition of a new "Fairness Doctrine." That he wants to curtail the First Amendment rights of those who may disagree with his policies via Internet blogs, cable news networks, or advocacy ads. That most major network television and most newspapers will only sing his phrases like state-run media in communist countries? Would you say, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
9. What if I were to tell you that the Obama Justice Department is doing everything it can to limit your Second Amendment rights to keep and bear arms. That the federal government wants to reinstate the so-called assault weapons ban which would prohibit the sale of any type of firearm that requires the shooter to pull the trigger every time a round is fired. That Obama's Attorney General wants to eliminate the sale of virtually all handguns and ammunition, which most citizens choose for self-defense. Would you say, "C'mon, that will never happen in America ."
10. What if I were to tell you that the Obama plan is to eliminate states rights guaranteed by the Tenth Amendment and give the federal government sweeping new powers over policies currently under the province of local and state governments and voted on by the people. That Obama plans to control the schools, energy production, the environment, health care, and the wealth of every US citizen. Would you say, "C'mon, that will never happen in America."
11. What if I were to tell you that the president, the courts, and he federal government have ignored the US Constitution and have seized powers which the founders of our country fought to restrict. That our last presidential election may have been our last truly free election for some time to come. That our next presidential election may look similar to the one recently held in Iran. (And maybe under review by ACORN.) I know, I know what you will say. That will never happen in America.
He Was Unaware?
Barack Obama, through his spokesman, claimed that he was unaware of the tax day tea parties.
Granted, the media has done a good job in suppressing any sort of coverage ahead of time (and the little coverage they did provide was derisive at best) but how out of touch is the Community Organizer in Chief, really? This much:
- He was unaware that he was attending a church (for 20 years) with a racist pastor who hates America.
- He was unaware that he was family friends with, and started his political career in the living room of, a domestic terrorist.
- He was unaware that he had invested in two speculative companies backed by some of his top donors right after taking office in 2005.
- He was unaware that his own aunt was living in the US illegally.
- He was unaware that his own brother lives on pennies a day in a hut in Kenya.
- He was unaware of the AIG bonuses that he and his administration approved and signed into a bill.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Commerce was under investigation in a bribery scandal.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Health and Human Services was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of the Treasury was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be the U.S. Trade Representative was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the woman he nominated to be his Chief Performance Officer was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be #2 at the Environmental Protection Agency was under investigation for mismanaging $25 million in EPA grants.
Granted, the media has done a good job in suppressing any sort of coverage ahead of time (and the little coverage they did provide was derisive at best) but how out of touch is the Community Organizer in Chief, really? This much:
- He was unaware that he was attending a church (for 20 years) with a racist pastor who hates America.
- He was unaware that he was family friends with, and started his political career in the living room of, a domestic terrorist.
- He was unaware that he had invested in two speculative companies backed by some of his top donors right after taking office in 2005.
- He was unaware that his own aunt was living in the US illegally.
- He was unaware that his own brother lives on pennies a day in a hut in Kenya.
- He was unaware of the AIG bonuses that he and his administration approved and signed into a bill.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Commerce was under investigation in a bribery scandal.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of Health and Human Services was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be his Secretary of the Treasury was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be the U.S. Trade Representative was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the woman he nominated to be his Chief Performance Officer was a tax cheat.
- He was unaware that the man he nominated to be #2 at the Environmental Protection Agency was under investigation for mismanaging $25 million in EPA grants.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Want S'mores?
Check out these new camping tools --- pretty cool!
You would think that someone could figure out a way to put them together so you could roast S'mores with one hand.
You would think that someone could figure out a way to put them together so you could roast S'mores with one hand.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
The Proposal
From my email...
When a company falls on difficult times, one of the things that seems to happen is they reduce their staff and workers. The remaining workers must find ways to continue to do a good job or risk that their job would be eliminated as well. Wall Street, and the media normally congratulate the CEO for making this type of "tough decision", and his board of directors gives him a big bonus. Our government should not be immune from similar risks.
Therefore: Reduce the House of Representatives from the current 435 members to 218 members. Reduce Senate members from 100 to 50 (one per State). Then, reduce their staff by 25%.
Accomplish this over the next 8 years (two steps/two elections) and of course this would require some redistricting.
Some Yearly Monetary Gains Include:
$44,108,400 for elimination of base pay for congress. (267 members X $165,200 pay/member/ yr.)
$97,175,000 for elimination of their staff. (estimate $1.3 Million in staff per each member of the House, and $3 Million in staff per each member of the Senate every year)
$240,294 for the reduction in remaining staff by 25%.
$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork barrel ear-marks each year. (those members whose jobs are gone. Current estimates for total government pork earmarks are at$15 Billion/yr).
The remaining representatives would need to work smarter and improve efficiencies. It might even be in their best interests to work together for the good of our country! We may also expect that smaller committees might lead to a more efficient resolution of issues as well. It might even be easier to keep track of what your representative is doing.
Congress has more tools available to do their jobs than it had back in 1911 when the current number of representatives was established. (telephone, computers, cell phones to name a few)
Note: Congress did not hesitate to head home when it was a holiday, when the nation needed a real fix to the economic problems. Also, we had 3 senators that were not doing their jobs for the 18+ months (on the campaign trail) and still they all have accepted full pay. These facts alone support a reduction in senators & Congress.
Summary of opportunity:
$ 44,108,400 reduction of congress members.
$282,100, 000 for elimination of the reduced house member staff. $150,000,000 for elimination of reduced senate member staff.
$59,675,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining house members.
$37,500,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining senate members.
$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork added to bills by the reduction of Congress members.
$8,073,383,400 per year, estimated total savings. (that ' s 8-BILLION just to start!)
Big business does these types of cuts all the time.
If Congresspersons were required to serve 20, 25 or 30 years (like everyone else) in order to collect retirement benefits, tax payers could save a bundle. Now they get full retirement after serving only ONE term.
When a company falls on difficult times, one of the things that seems to happen is they reduce their staff and workers. The remaining workers must find ways to continue to do a good job or risk that their job would be eliminated as well. Wall Street, and the media normally congratulate the CEO for making this type of "tough decision", and his board of directors gives him a big bonus. Our government should not be immune from similar risks.
Therefore: Reduce the House of Representatives from the current 435 members to 218 members. Reduce Senate members from 100 to 50 (one per State). Then, reduce their staff by 25%.
Accomplish this over the next 8 years (two steps/two elections) and of course this would require some redistricting.
Some Yearly Monetary Gains Include:
$44,108,400 for elimination of base pay for congress. (267 members X $165,200 pay/member/ yr.)
$97,175,000 for elimination of their staff. (estimate $1.3 Million in staff per each member of the House, and $3 Million in staff per each member of the Senate every year)
$240,294 for the reduction in remaining staff by 25%.
$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork barrel ear-marks each year. (those members whose jobs are gone. Current estimates for total government pork earmarks are at$15 Billion/yr).
The remaining representatives would need to work smarter and improve efficiencies. It might even be in their best interests to work together for the good of our country! We may also expect that smaller committees might lead to a more efficient resolution of issues as well. It might even be easier to keep track of what your representative is doing.
Congress has more tools available to do their jobs than it had back in 1911 when the current number of representatives was established. (telephone, computers, cell phones to name a few)
Note: Congress did not hesitate to head home when it was a holiday, when the nation needed a real fix to the economic problems. Also, we had 3 senators that were not doing their jobs for the 18+ months (on the campaign trail) and still they all have accepted full pay. These facts alone support a reduction in senators & Congress.
Summary of opportunity:
$ 44,108,400 reduction of congress members.
$282,100, 000 for elimination of the reduced house member staff. $150,000,000 for elimination of reduced senate member staff.
$59,675,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining house members.
$37,500,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining senate members.
$7,500,000,000 reduction in pork added to bills by the reduction of Congress members.
$8,073,383,400 per year, estimated total savings. (that ' s 8-BILLION just to start!)
Big business does these types of cuts all the time.
If Congresspersons were required to serve 20, 25 or 30 years (like everyone else) in order to collect retirement benefits, tax payers could save a bundle. Now they get full retirement after serving only ONE term.
Government programs
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow..
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow..
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Top Ten Indicators of Obama's Health Care Plan
From my email --
You are in Obama's health care plan if:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and some Duct Tape.
You are in Obama's health care plan if:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and some Duct Tape.
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