If Abbott and Costello wanted a computer

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: "Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?"

COSTELLO: "Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer."

ABBOTT: "Mac?"

COSTELLO: "No, the name's Lou."

ABBOTT: "Your computer?"

COSTELLO: "I don't own a computer. I want to buy one."

ABBOTT: "Mac?"

COSTELLO: "I told you, my name's Lou."

ABBOTT: "What about Windows?"

COSTELLO: "Why? Will it get stuffy in here?"

ABBOTT: "Do you want a computer with Windows?"

COSTELLO: "I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?"

ABBOTT: "Wallpaper."

COSTELLO: "Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software."

ABBOTT: "Software for Windows?"

COSTELLO: "No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?"

ABBOTT: "Office."

COSTELLO: "Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?"

ABBOTT: "I just did."

COSTELLO: "You just did what?"

ABBOTT: "Recommend something."

COSTELLO: "You recommended something?"

ABBOTT: "Yes."

COSTELLO: "For my office?"

ABBOTT: "Yes."

COSTELLO: "OK, what did you recommend for my office?"

ABBOTT: "Office."

COSTELLO: "Yes, for my office!"

ABBOTT: "I recommend Office with Windows."

COSTELLO: "I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?"

ABBOTT: "Word."

COSTELLO: "What word?"

ABBOTT: "Word in Office."

COSTELLO: "The only word in office is office."

ABBOTT: "The Word in Office for Windows."

COSTELLO: "Which word in office for windows?"

ABBOTT: "The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'."

COSTELLO: "I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?"

ABBOTT: "Money."

COSTELLO: "That's right. What do you have?"

ABBOTT: "Money."

COSTELLO: "I need money to track my money?"

ABBOTT: "It comes bundled with your computer."

COSTELLO: "What's bundled with my computer?"

ABBOTT: "Money."

COSTELLO: "Money comes with my computer?"

ABBOTT: "Yes. No extra charge."

COSTELLO: "I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?"

ABBOTT: "One copy."

COSTELLO: "Isn't it illegal to copy money?"

ABBOTT: "Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money."

COSTELLO: "They can give you a license to copy money?"

ABBOTT: "Why not? THEY OWN IT!"(A few days later)

ABBOTT: "Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?"

COSTELLO: "How do I turn my computer off?"

ABBOTT: "Click on 'START'"...