Tuesday, March 31, 2020

She's Going to a ... Convention

A man boarded an aircraft at London’s Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo – she took the seat right beside him.
‘Hello’, he blurted out, ‘Business trip or vacation?’
She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, ‘Business. I’m going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States.’
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, ‘What’s your business role at this convention?’ ‘Lecturer,’ she responded.’I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.’
‘Really’, he smiled, ‘what myths are those?’
‘Well,’ she explained, ‘one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it’s the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.’
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said ‘I really shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don’t even know your name!’
‘Tonto,’ the man said. ‘Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.’

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

We Live in a Bizarre World...

Thank you, Bill:

We are living in a Bizarre World
If a mentally-ill dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.
It’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.
Russians influencing our elections are bad, but Mexicans voting in our elections are good.
It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.
Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.
It’s wrong to steal, but it’s cool to demand that the government steal for you.
Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance, and then they are forced to buy it for illegals.
People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.
People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.
Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.
Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.
We demand that the government be in control of our health care, but then we are outraged when the government makes our health care decisions.
$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.
If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.
People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.
It’s terrible when the President says that Puerto Rico’s politicians are corrupt, but it’s wonderful when Puerto Rico’s politicians are kicked out of office for corruption.
We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.
Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.

Monday, January 06, 2020

Why California Keeps Raising Taxes...

Why is California Broke?  And Raising Taxes every year:

These are all California State Agencies:

California Academic Performance Index (API) * California Access for Infants and Mothers * California Acupuncture Board * California Administrative Office of the Courts * California Adoptions Branch * California African American Museum * California Agricultural Export Program * California Agricultural Labor Relations Board * California Agricultural Statistics Service * California Air Resources Board (CARB) * California Allocation Board * California Alternative Energy and Advanced Transportation Financing Authority * California Animal Health and Food Safety Services * California Anti-Terrorism Information Center * California Apprenticeship Council * California Arbitration Certification Program * California Architects Board * California Area VI Developmental Disabilities Board * California Arts Council * California Asian Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus * California Assembly Democratic Caucus * California Assembly Republican Caucus * California Athletic Commission * California Attorney General * California Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California Bay-Delta Authority * California Bay-Delta Office * California Bio Diversity Council * California Board for Geologists and Geophysicists * California Board for Professional Engineers and Land Surveyors * California Board of Accountancy * California Board of Barbering and Cosmetology * California Board of Behavioral Sciences * California Board of Chiropractic Examiners * California Board of Equalization (BOE) * California Board of Forestry and Fire Protection * California Board of Guide Dogs for the Blind * California Board of Occupational Therapy * California Board of Optometry * California Board of Pharmacy * California Board of Podiatric Medicine * California Board of Prison Terms * California Board of Psychology * California Board of Registered Nursing * California Board of Trustees * California Board of Vocational Nursing and Psychiatric Technicians * California Braille and Talking Book Library * California Building Standards Commission * California Bureau for Private Post Secondary and Vocational Education * California Bureau of Automotive Repair * California Bureau of Electronic and Appliance Repair * California Bureau of Home Furnishings and Thermal Insulation * California Bureau of Naturopathic Medicine * California Bureau of Security and Investigative Services * California Bureau of State Audits * California Business Agency * California Business Investment Services (CalBIS) * California Business Permit Information (CalGOLD) * California Business Portal * California Business, Transportation and Housing Agency * California Cal Grants * California CalJOBS * California Cal-Learn Program * California CalVet Home Loan Program * California Career Resource Network * California Cemetery and Funeral Bureau * California Center for Analytical Chemistry * California Center for Distributed Learning * California Center for Teaching Careers (Teach California) * California Chancellors Office * California Charter Schools * California Children and Families Commission * California Children and Family Services Division * California Citizens Compensation Commission * California Civil Rights Bureau * California Coastal Commission * California Coastal Conservancy * California Code of Regulations * California Collaborative Projects with UC Davis * California Commission for Jobs and Economic Growth * California Commission on Aging * California Commission on Health and Safety and Workers Compensation * California Commission on Judicial Performance * California Commission on State Mandates * California Commission on Status of Women * California Commission on Teacher Credentialing * California Commission on the Status of Women * California Committee on Dental Auxiliaries * California Community Colleges Chancellors Office, Junior Colleges * California Community Colleges Chancellors Office * California Complaint Mediation Program * California Conservation Corps * California Constitution Revision Commission * California Consumer Hotline * California Consumer Information Center * California Consumer Information * California Consumer Services Division * California Consumers and Families Agency * California Contractors State License Board * California Corrections Standards Authority * California Council for the Humanities * California Council on Criminal Justice * California Council on Developmental Disabilities * California Court Reporters Board * California Courts of Appeal * California Crime and Violence Prevention Center * California Criminal Justice Statistics Center * California Criminalist Institute Forensic Library * California CSGnet Network Management * California Cultural and Historical Endowment * California Cultural Resources Division * California Curriculum and Instructional Leadership Branch * California Data Exchange Center * California Data Management Division * California Debt and Investment Advisory Commission * California Delta Protection Commission * California Democratic Caucus * California Demographic Research Unit * California Dental Auxiliaries * California Department of Aging * California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Appeals Board * California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control * California Department of Boating and Waterways (Cal Boating) * California Department of Child Support Services (CDCSS) * California Department of Community Services and Development * California Department of Conservation * California Department of Consumer Affairs * California Department of Corporations * California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation * California Department of Developmental Services * California Department of Education * California Department of Fair Employment and Housing * California Department of Finance * California Department of Financial Institutions * California Department of Fish and Game * California Department of Food and Agriculture * California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CDF) * California Department of General Services * California Department of General Services, Office of State Publishing * California Department of Health Care Services * California Department of Housing and Community Development * California Department of Industrial Relations (DIR) * California Department of Insurance * California Department of Justice Firearms Division * California Department of Justice Opinion Unit * California Department of Justice, Consumer Information, Public Inquiry Unit * California Department of Justice * California Department of Managed Health Care * California Department of Mental Health * California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) * California Department of Personnel Administration * California Department of Pesticide Regulation * California Department of Public Health * California Department of Real Estate * California Department of Rehabilitation * California Department of Social Services Adoptions Branch * California Department of Social Services * California Department of Technology Services Training Center (DTSTC) * California Department of Technology Services (DTS) * California Department of Toxic Substances Control * California Department of Transportation (Caltrans) * California Department of Veterans Affairs (CalVets) * California Department of Water Resources * California Departmento de Vehiculos Motorizados * California Digital Library * California Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Division of Apprenticeship Standards * California Division of Codes and Standards * California Division of Communicable Disease Control * California Division of Engineering * California Division of Environmental and Occupational Disease Control * California Division of Gambling Control * California Division of Housing Policy Development * California Division of Labor Standards Enforcement * California Division of Labor Statistics and Research * California Division of Land and Right of Way * California Division of Land Resource Protection * California Division of Law Enforcement General Library * California Division of Measurement Standards * California Division of Mines and Geology * California Division of Occupational Safety and Health (Cal/OSHA) * California Division of Oil, Gas and Geothermal Resources * California Division of Planning and Local Assistance * California Division of Recycling * California Division of Safety of Dams * California Division of the State Architect * California Division of Tourism * California Division of Workers Compensation Medical Unit * California Division of Workers Compensation * California Economic Assistance, Business and Community Resources * California Economic Strategy Panel * California Education and Training Agency * California Education Audit Appeals Panel * California Educational Facilities Authority * California Elections Division * California Electricity Oversight Board * California Emergency Management Agency * California Emergency Medical Services Authority * California Employment Development Department (EDD) * California Employment Information State Jobs * California Employment Training Panel * California Energy Commission * California Environment and Natural Resources Agency * California Environmental Protection Agency (Cal/EPA) * California Environmental Resources Evaluation System (CERES) * California Executive Office * California Export Laboratory Services * California Exposition and State Fair (Cal Expo) * California Fair Political Practices Commission * California Fairs and Expositions Division * California Film Commission * California Fire and Resource Assessment Program * California Firearms Division * California Fiscal Services * California Fish and Game Commission * California Fisheries Program Branch * California Floodplain Management * California Foster Youth Help * California Franchise Tax Board (FTB) * California Fraud Division * California Gambling Control Commission * California Geographic Information Systems Council (GIS) * California Geological Survey * California Government Claims and Victim Compensation Board * California Governors Committee for Employment of Disabled Persons * California Governors Mentoring Partnership * California Governors Office of Emergency Services * California Governors Office of Homeland Security * California Governors Office of Planning and Research * California Governors Office * California Grant and Enterprise Zone Programs HCD Loan * California Health and Human Services Agency * California Health and Safety Agency * California Healthy Families Program * California Hearing Aid Dispensers Bureau * California High-Speed Rail Authority * California Highway Patrol (CHP) * California History and Culture Agency * California Horse Racing Board * California Housing Finance Agency * California Indoor Air Quality Program * California Industrial Development Financing Advisory Commission * California Industrial Welfare Commission * California InFoPeople * California Information Center for the Environment * California Infrastructure and Economic Development Bank (I-Bank) * California Inspection Services * California Institute for County Government * California Institute for Education Reform * California Integrated Waste Management Board * California Interagency Ecological Program * California Job Service * California Junta Estatal de Personal * California Labor and Employment Agency * California Labor and Workforce Development Agency * California Labor Market Information Division * California Land Use Planning Information Network (LUPIN) * California Lands Commission * California Landscape Architects Technical Committee * California Latino Legislative Caucus * California Law Enforcement Branch * California Law Enforcement General Library * California Law Revision Commission * California Legislative Analyst's Office * California Legislative Black Caucus * California Legislative Counsel * California Legislative Division * California Legislative Information * California Legislative Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Caucus * California Legislature Internet Caucus * California Library De velopment Services * California License and Revenue Branch * California Major Risk Medical Insurance Program * California Managed Risk Medical Insurance Board * California Maritime Academy * California Marketing Services * California Measurement Standards * California Medical Assistance Commission * California Medical Care Services * California Military Department * California Mining and Geology Board * California Museum for History, Women, and the Arts * California Museum Resource Center * California National Guard * California Native American Heritage Commission * California Natural Community Conservation Planning Program * California New Motor Vehicle Board * California Nursing Home Administrator Program * California Occupational Safety and Health Appeals Board * California Occupational Safety and Health Standards Board * California Ocean Resources Management Program * California Office of Administrative Hearings * California Office of Administrative Law * California Office of AIDS * California Office of Binational Border Health * California Office of Child Abuse Prevention * California Office of Deaf Access * California Office of Emergency Services (OES) * California Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment * California Office of Fiscal Services * California Office of Fleet Administration * California Office of Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) Implementation (CalOHI) * California Office of Historic Preservation * California Office of Homeland Security * California Office of Human Resources * California Office of Legal Services * California Office of Legislation * California Office of Lieutenant Governor * California Office of Military and Aerospace Support * California Office of Mine Reclamation * California Office of Natural Resource Education * California Office of Privacy Protection * California Office of Public School Construction * California Office of Real Estate Appraisers * California Office of Risk and Insurance Management * California Office of Services to the Blind * California Office of Spill Prevention and Response * California Office of State Publishing (OSP) * California Office of Statewide Health Planning and Development * California Office of Systems Integration * California Office of the Inspector General * California Office of the Ombudsman * California Office of the Patient Advocate * California Office of the President * California Office of the Secretary for Education * California Office of the State Fire Marshal * California Office of the State Public Defender * California Office of Traffic Safety * California Office of Vital Records * California Online Directory * California Operations Control Office * California Opinion Unit * California Outreach and Technical Assistance Network (OTAN) * California Park and Recreation Commission * California Peace Officer Standards and Training (POST) * California Performance Review (CPR) * California Permit Information for Business (CalGOLD) * California Physical Therapy Board * California Physician Assistant Committee * California Plant Health and Pest Prevention Services * California Policy and Evaluation Division * California Political Reform Division * California Pollution Control Financing Authority * California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo * California Postsecondary Education Commission * California Prevention Services * California Primary Care and Family Health * California Prison Industry Authority * California Procurement Division * California Public Employees Retirement System (CalPERS) * California Public Employment Relations Board (PERB) * California Public Utilities Commission (PUC) * California Real Estate Services Division * California Refugee Programs Branch * California Regional Water Quality Control Boards * California Registered Veterinary Technician Committee * California Registrar of Charitable Trusts * California Republican Caucus * California Research and Development Division * California Research Bureau * California Resources Agency * California Respiratory Care Board * California Rivers Assessment * California Rural Health Policy Council * California Safe Schools * California San Francisco Bay Conservation and Development Commission * California San Gabriel and Lower Los Angeles Rivers and Mountains Conservancy * California San Joaquin River Conservancy * California School to Career * California Science Center * California Scripps Institution of Oceanography * California Secretary of State Business Portal * California Secretary of State * California Seismic Safety Commission * California Self Insurance Plans (SIP) * California Senate Office of Research * California Small Business and Disabled Veteran Business Enterprise Certification Program * California Small Business Development Center Program * California Smart Growth Caucus * California Smog Check Information Center * California Spatial Information Library * California Special Education Division * California Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology Board * California Standardized Testing and Reporting (STAR) * California Standards and Assessment Division * California State Administrative Manual (SAM) * California State Allocation Board * California State and Consumer Services Agency * California State Architect * California State Archives * California State Assembly * California State Association of Counties (CSAC) * California State Board of Education * California State Board of Food and Agriculture *California Office of the Chief Information Officer (OCIO) * California State Children's Trust Fund * California State Compensation Insurance Fund * California State Contracts Register Program * California State Contracts Register * California State Controller * California State Council on Developmental Disabilities (SCDD) * California State Disability Insurance (SDI) * California State Fair (Cal Expo) * California State Jobs Employment Information * California State Lands Commission * California State Legislative Portal * California State Legislature * California State Library Catalog * California State Library Services Bureau * California State Library * California State Lottery * California State Mediation and Conciliation Service * California State Mining and Geology Board * California State Park and Recreation Commission * California State Parks * California State Personnel Board * California State Polytechnic University, Pomona * California State Railroad Museum * California State Science Fair * California State Senate * California State Summer School for Mathematics and Science (COSMOS) * California State Summer School for the Arts * California State Superintendent of Public Instruction * California State Teachers Retirement System (CalSTRS) * California State Treasurer * California State University Center for Distributed Learning * California State University, Bakersfield * California State University, Channel Islands * California State University, Chico * California State University, Dominguez Hills * California State University, East Bay * California State University, Fresno * California State University, Fullerton * California State University, Long Beach * California State University, Los Angeles * California State University, Monterey Bay * California State University, Northridge * California State University, Sacramento * California State University, San Bernardino * California State University, San Marcos * California State University, Stanislaus * California State University (CSU) * California State Water Project Analysis Office * California State Water Project * California State Water Resources Control Board * California Structural Pest Control Board * California Student Aid Commission * California Superintendent of Public Instruction * California Superior Courts * California Tahoe Conservancy * California Task Force on Culturally and Linguistically Competent Physicians and Dentists * California Tax Information Center * California Technology and Administration Branch Finance * California Telecommunications Division * California Telephone Medical Advice Services (TAMS) * California Transportation Commission * California Travel and Transportation Agency * California Unclaimed Property Program * California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board * California Unemployment Insurance Program * California Uniform Construction Cost Accounting Commission * California Veterans Board * California Veterans Memorial * California Veterinary Medical Board and Registered Veterinary Technician Examining Committee * California Veterinary Medical Board * California Victim Compensation and Government Claims Board * California Volunteers * California Voter Registration * California Water Commission * California Water Environment Association (COWPEA) * California Water Resources Control Board * California Welfare to Work Division * California Wetlands Information System * California Wildlife and Habitat Data Analysis Branch * California Wildlife Conservation Board * California Wildlife Programs Branch * California Work Opportunity and Responsibility to Kids (CalWORKs) * California Workers Compensation Appeals Board * California Workforce and Labor Development Agency * California Workforce Investment Board * California Youth Authority (CYA) * Central Valley Flood Protection Board * Center for California Studies * Colorado River Board of California * Counting California * Dental Board of California * Health Insurance Plan of California (PacAdvantage) * Humboldt State University * Jobs with the State of California * Judicial Council of California * Learn California * Library of California * Lieutenant Governors Commission for One California * Little Hoover Commission (on California State Government Organization and Economy) * Medical Board of California * Medi-Cal * Osteopathic Medical Board of California * Physical Therapy Board of California * Regents of the University of California * San Diego State University * San Francisco State University * San Jose State University * Santa Monica Mountains Conservancy * State Bar of California * Supreme Court of California * Teach California * University of California * University of California, Berkeley * University of California, Davis * University of California, Hastings College of the Law * University of California, Irvine * University of California, Los Angeles * University of California, Merced * University of California, Riverside * University of California, San Diego * University of California, San Francisco * University of California, Santa Barbara * University of California, Santa Cruz * Veterans Home of California

Then there are 58 Counties and hundreds of Cities with bloated bureaucracies.

==============================================

All of these employees get salaries, medical coverage and pensions at taxpayers expense and they all have employees getting pensions.

PORK BARREL!!!

It seems like the only places they can cut costs are . . .  Education, Police and Fire.

Whether you’re a Democrat, a Republican or Independent, this list has to shock you.

Over the years, our politicians have created this enormous pork barrel of agencies that employ about as many people as the entire State of Alaska.

Are the agencies using up-to-date technology and efficient processes?  I doubt it!!  Every other business automates as a matter of staying in business.  Can these agencies be combined or condensed or tasks contracted out to private businesses? 

Every state agency should have to justify every position, every task, and every expense (they all have a budget, right?) and if they don't, face a 20% reduction in their budge every year until they do.  


Tuesday, December 17, 2019

How Long Will Greta's Followers Put Up With This Lifestyle?

From a Facebook post:

After our daughter of fifteen years of age was moved to tears by the speech of Greta Thunberg at the UN the other day, she became angry with our generation “who had been doing nothing for thirty years.”
So, we decided to help her prevent what the girl on TV announced of “massive eradication and the disappearance of entire ecosystems.”
We are now committed to give our daughter a future again, by doing our part to help cool the planet four degrees.  

From now on she will go to school on a bicycle, because driving her by car costs fuel, and fuel puts emissions into the atmosphere. Of course it will be winter soon and then she will want to go by bus, but cycling through the freezing builds resilience.  Of course, she is now asking for an electric bicycle, but we have shown her the devastation caused to the areas of the planet as a result of mining for the extraction of Lithium and other minerals used to make batteries for electric bicycles, so she will be pedaling, or walking.  
Which will not harm her, or the planet. We used to cycle and walk to school too.

Since the girl on TV demanded “we need to get rid of our dependency on fossil fuels” and our daughter agreed with her, we have disconnected the heat vent in her room. The temperature is now dropping to twelve degrees in the evening, and will drop below freezing in the winter, we have promised to buy her an extra sweater, hat, tights, gloves and a blanket.

For the same reason we have decided that from now on she only takes a cold shower. She will wash her clothes by hand, with a wooden washboard, because the washing machine is simply a power consumer and since the dryer uses natural gas, she will hang her clothes on the clothes line to dry, just like my parents and grandparents used to do.
Speaking of clothes, the ones that she currently has are all synthetic, so made from petroleum. Therefore on Monday, we will bring all her designer clothing to the secondhand shop.  We have found an eco store where the only clothing they sell is made from undyed and unbleached linen and jute. Also can’t have clothes made on wool, because the emissions from farting sheep are supposedly causing bad weather.  It shouldn’t matter that it looks good on her, or that she is going to be laughed at, dressing in colorless, bland clothes and without a wireless bra, but that is the price she has to pay for the benefit of The Climate.  
Cotton is out of the question, as it comes from distant lands and pesticides are used for it. Very bad for the environment.

We just saw on her Instagram that she’s pretty angry with us. This was not our intention.
From now on, at 7 p.m. we will turn off the WiFi and we will only switch it on again the next day after dinner for two hours. In this way we will save on electricity, so she is not bothered by electro-stress and will be totally isolated from the outside world. This way, she can concentrate solely on her homework. At eleven o’clock in the evening we will pull the breaker to shut the power off to her room, so she knows that dark is really dark. That will save a lot of CO2.

She will no longer be participating in winter sports to ski lodges and resorts, nor will she be going on anymore vacations with us, because our vacation destinations are practically inaccessible by bicycle.
Since our daughter fully agrees with the girl on TV that the CO2 emissions and footprints of her great-grandparents are to blame for ‘killing our planet’, what all this simply means, is that she also has to live like her great-grandparents and they never had a holiday, a car or even a bicycle.

We haven’t talked about the carbon footprint or food yet.  Zero CO2 footprint means no meat, no fish and no poultry, but also no meat substitutes that are based on soy (after all, that grows in farmers fields, that use machinery to harvest the beans, trucks to transport to the processing plants, where more energy is used, then trucked to the packaging/canning plants, and trucked once again to the stores) and also no imported food, because that has a negative ecological effect. And absolutely no chocolate from Africa, no coffee from South America and no tea from Asia.

Only homegrown potatoes, vegetables and fruit that have been grown in local cold soil, because greenhouses run on boilers, piped in CO2 and artificial light. Apparently, these things are also bad for The Climate. We will teach her how to grow her own food.

Bread is still possible, but butter, milk, cheese and yogurt, cottage cheese and cream come from cows and they emit CO2. No more margarine and no oils will be used for the frying pan, because that fat is palm oil from plantations in Borneo where rain forests first grew.  
No ice cream in the summer. No soft drinks and no energy drinks, as the bubbles are CO2.

We will also ban all plastic, because it comes from chemical factories. Everything made of steel and aluminum must also be removed. Have you ever seen the amount of energy a blast furnace consumes or an aluminum smelter? All bad for the climate!

We will replace her memory foam pillow top mattress, with a jute bag filled with straw, with a horse hair pillow.

And finally, she will no longer be using makeup, soap, shampoo, cream, lotion, conditioner, toothpaste and medication. Facewashers will all be linen, that she can wash by hand, with her wooden washboard, just like her female ancestors did before climate change made her angry at us for destroying her future.

In this way we will help her to do her part to prevent mass extinction, water levels rising and the disappearance of entire ecosystems.

If she truly believes she wants to walk the talk of the girl on TV, she will gladly accept and happily embrace her new way of life.

Monday, December 02, 2019

Whose Logic is This?


1. America is Capitalist and greedy – Yet half the population are subsidized.
2. Half the population are subsidized – Yet they think they’re victims.
3. They think they’re victims – Yet their representatives run the government.
4. Their representatives run the government – Yet the poor keep getting poorer.
5. The poor keep getting poorer – Yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.
6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about – Yet they seem to want America to be more like those other countries.
Go figure.

Yep - that's who I thought!!!

Saturday, November 23, 2019

I'm a San Diego Oldtimer Now...

A Facebook friend posted this - thank you Margaret!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN OLD -TIMER FROM SAN DIEGO WHEN ~

1. You can correctly pronounce Tierrasanta, La Jolla, Rancho Penasquitos, San Ysidro, Otay Mesa, Jamul, Jacumba, and El Cajon - and know where they are.

2. There are four distinct seasons: Summer, Not Quite Summer, Almost Summer, and "Oh, hey look, it's Summer again."

3. Your high school had a surf team.
4. Insane Diego and Chulajuana are real towns. So are San Yskidrow, Venereal Beach, and International City.
5. Your house is worth more than some small countries.
6. You know what IB, MB, OB, and PB stand for.
7. Every street name is either in Spanish or Spanish related, and you're surprised when other areas don't have this.

8. You can determine the accuracy of someone's "I'm ghetto" a claim by knowing their high school. For example El Camino High School or Crawford High.

9. You see weather forecasts for four different climate zones in the same county – and aren't remotely surprised.
10. You've gone to Mt. Helix in July and know you still need a jacket (60 degrees is COLD!).
11. You remember going to "The Cross" on Mt. Helix for Easter services.

12. You've tailgated at Qualcomm Stadium, and for bonus points, also tailgated when it was Jack Murphy Stadium. [(Extra bonus points for Balboa Park/Chargers and/or Westgate Park/AAA Padres!]
13. You know that "Charge!" doesn't refer to a credit card.
14. You remember going downtown via Federal Blvd. before Hwy 94 was built.

15. You remember when Hwy 94 was two lanes in each direction and Bonita Road was one lane in each direction.

16. You've been on a field trip to see an Imax movie at the Reuben H. Fleet Space Center.

17. You still call it the Del Mar Fair. [They call it something else?]
18. You say "I'm going to the track!" and people know what you are talking about.
19. You say "I'm going to the park!" and people know what you mean.
20. You remember when Lemon Grove, La Mesa, Spring Valley, 
and El Cajon were "out in the sticks."

21. You remember the El Cortez as the city’s tallest building.
22. You understand what "May-gray" and "June-gloom" means.
23. A famous skateboarder/surfer lives in your town.
24. There's "North County," "South County," and "East County" but no "Central County."
25. You know what it means when a girl in a short skirt is walking on El Cajon Blvd.

26. You know what "the merge" is, and you'll plan your entire day around not being on it during rush hour.
27. You know the difference between Clairemont Mesa, Kearny Mesa, and Mira Mesa.
28. You've stayed home from school or work, because "It's raining!"

29. You've gone to Sea World on a warm day and sat in the first few rows at the Shamu show to get cooled off.
30. You've been delayed at the border checkpoints at Tijuana and/or Tecate.
31. Your house doesn't have or need air conditioning – unless you live in East County.
32. No matter what the weather is, there is always someone walking around in a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops.

33. You've been to the desert, the mountains, and the beach all n one day.

34. You know that Santee and Lakeside are where the 'cowboys' live.
35. You know why Hillcrest is known as 'The Swish Alps.'

36. You hate tourists and their bad driving (but you don't know how to drive in the rain).
37. You've gone to the Zoo just to hang out.
38. You know someone who doesn't own long pants.
39. You know what a 'Santa Ana’ is, and you know it has nothing to do with the city of Santa Ana.
40. You know what 'real Mexican food' tastes like.
41. You remember when 'Mission Valley' was cow pastures, carrot farms, and dairies (oh...to have bought some of that land then!). Ditto with Coronado.
42. You remember when Lemon Grove had "the cows."
43. You remember when Chula Vista was a small town and all that was east of it was miles of Otay Ranch before Otay Lakes.
44. You remember the Big Sky, College, Harbor, and South Bay drive-ins.
45. You remember when real sports teams played at the Sports Arena.
46. Escondido was a long way off and there wasn't anything in between.
47. There wasn't an I-805, I-8, I-15 or I-5. You went on Highway 80, Highway 395 and the Pacific Coast Highway (especially to get to Disneyland).
48. National City stunk.
49. The Navy and the tuna fleet were THE big employers.
50. Getting to Coronado [or away] was a boat ride or a long trip in the car.

Ah, the memories.  I even went to Lane Field to see the Padres in the early 1950s.  

Friday, November 22, 2019

You Never Know...

when opportunity knocks.


Is that the father's gravestone they are on?  Revenge?  Or just opportunity.

I wonder if this cemetery knows that this happened.  It's kind of like Google Street View or Satellite View seeing things, isn't it?

Nice stones, though (says the genealogist in me!).


Sunday, September 29, 2019

Sunday, August 04, 2019

Thursday, August 01, 2019

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Monday, July 15, 2019

The Free Speech Cafe


This is so right on -- it will not end well for them.

Tuesday, May 07, 2019

It only took 18 Years...


There's a message here for the USA...

Friday, May 03, 2019

Dead Penguins

Thank you, Helen!


Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Best of the Fake News Cartoons 2


They left off many of my favorites.  Who the heck is Molly McKew?  Where is James Comey on this list?

I pick Michael Avenatti as worst of the worst over John Brennan.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Best of the Fake News Cartoons


Yep, all the fake news fit to print!!!

Heh.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Hooters

Two men grow up together, but after college one moves to Maryland and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.

At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.

“Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why Hooters?”

“They have those servers with the beautiful bosoms, the tight shorts, and the gorgeous legs.”

“You’re on.”

At age 42, they meet and play golf again.

“Where you wanna go for lunch?”

“Hooters.”

“Again? Why?”

“They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games.”

“OK.”

At age 52 they meet and play again. “So where you wanna go for lunch?”

“Hooters.

“Why?”

“The food is pretty good and there’s plenty of parking.”

“OK.”

At age 62 they meet again.

After a round of golf, one says, “Where you wanna go?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“Wings are half price and the food isn’t too spicy.”

“Good choice”

At age 72 they meet again.

Once again, after a round of golf, one says, “Where shall we go for lunch?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts.”

“Great choice.”

At age 82 they meet and play again. “Where should we go for lunch?”

“Hooters.”

“Why?”

“Because we’ve never been there before.”

“Okay.”

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Bud The Montana Cowboy

 A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana   when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

 Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" 

 The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on  his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 

 The young man then opens the digital photo  in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.  Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then  accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. 

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the  cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." 

 "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud 

 He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. 

 Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I  can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" 

 The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 

 "You're a Congressman for the  U.S.  Government", says Bud. 

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?" 

 "No  guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a  question I never asked You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about  how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a  herd of sheep”

Monday, February 11, 2019

Calling a PCUSA Pastor Takes Awhile

We are members of the Chula Vista Presbyterian Church in the San Diego, California Presbytery, a PCUSA denominational church.

Our pastor, Rev. Bob Davis, has been called to the Carson city, Nevada Presbyterian Church, and preached his last sermon on Sunday, 10 February.  We had a celebration of his service after the worship service on 10 February.

Many people have asked me "what do we do now?  How do we select another pastor?"

The CVPC website has an article about the process in Announcements, copied below:

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Steps In Transition
 1. Congregational Meeting: the congregation will vote on the motion to concur with the pastor’s request to dissolve the pastoral relationship. (January 27, 2019 at the annual meeting.)
2. Last Sunday preaching: (February 10, 2019).
3. Last day in the office: (February 14, 2019)
4. Temporary pastor (preaching only) that the leaving pastor will have arranged. (February 17 and 24.)
5. Session meets. The Committee on Ministry will assign a moderator for that meeting. The clerk of session should contact the Chair of the Committee on Ministry to make sure this detail is covered. (February 26)
 a. Session will begin discussing the selection of an Interim Pastor Nominating Committee (IPNC), job description and compensation package. This discussion begins after the last Sunday that the leaving pastor is in the pulpit. The COM will have to approve the job description and compensation package before the IPNC begins interviewing potential Interim candidates.
 b. They will also discuss the formation of a Mission Study team.  The completion of a mission study is a mandatory step in the process.
6. Temporary pastors are normally arranged by the leaving pastor for one or two months; after which the Committee on Ministry will assign until an Interim has been selected and a contract established.
7. Session meets. The Committee on Ministry will assign a moderator for that meeting, again, contingent upon an Interim being selected and a contract established. A Mission Study Team should be elected. (March 26)
8. April 7, April 14 (Palm Sunday), April 18 (Maundy Thursday), April 21 (Easter) – The Committee on Ministry will assign temporary pastors from this point until (or unless) an Interim is selected.
9. Going forward:
 a. The Mission Study needs to be completed. This team will work with a liaison from the Committee on Ministry (Chris Lenocker). The liaison will guide them through the process. After the Mission Study is complete, it is submitted to COM for approval.
 b. A Pastor Nominating Team will need to be elected. The slate for the Pastor Nominating Team will be presented by the congregation’s Nominating Committee because it is an action of the congregation (in contrast to the IPNC, which is a function of the session).
 c. The Pastor Nominating Team will translate the Mission Study into the Ministry Information Form (MIF) required for posting on the denomination’s Church Leadership Connection (CLC). The MIF is submitted to COM for approval prior to posting.
 d. Once the MIF is posted, the PNC operates as a search committee. They receive Personal Information Forms (PIF’s) which are the Presbyterian version of resumes or curriculum vitaes.
 e. When the PNC has narrowed the candidates down to a few, they will contact COM for preliminary vetting. The PNC is likely to view candidates in a neutral pulpit. 
 f. When a candidate is identified, a call is extended including job description and terms. When the candidate accepts, COM will have representatives meet with the individual to “credential” them. That will take place prior to the individual preaching a candidate sermon. (The “credentialing” is waived if the candidate is already a member in good standing of San Diego Presbytery.)
 g. The candidate is presented to the congregation. The candidate preaches a sermon for the congregation. A congregational meeting follows to vote on the candidate and the terms of call.
 h. Upon approval of the congregation, the candidate is presented to the presbytery for examination. (This takes place regardless of whether the candidate is a member in good standing of San Diego Presbytery).
 i. The final step of the process is the installation service for the called pastor. The installation is an act of San Diego Presbytery. An administrative commission is formed by recommendation of the called pastor, presented to Presbytery for approval by the Committee on Ministry.   
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So how long will this take?  
I was the chair of the Pastor Nominating Committee that called Associate Pastor Jim Rauch to CVPC in 1987.  That took at least two years.
I was a member of the Pastor Nominating Committee that called Senior Pastor Paul Fisher to CVPC in 1998 (?).  That took at least two years.
Two to three years seems to be the norm for this process.  The Mission Study takes awhile (6 to 12 months), the PNC process takes another year or two.  

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