Unbelievable Quote From Chairman of Council of Economic Advisors

The question in an interview with Charlie Kirk was "Like you say, they print the dollar, so why does the government even borrow?"

Who said this?  The Chairman of President Biden's Council of Economic Advisors at the White House.  His name is Jared Bernstein.  He's on TV news a lot supporting the Biden Administration economic policies.  Bad day?  Or just incompetent?  It would be funny if not so sad.  

ore commentary at https://wattsupwiththat.com/2024/05/11/the-invincible-ignorance-of-the-western-governing-class/

Did he ask him to explain the causes of inflation also?  

Our economy and country are in the finest hands I've ever seen!

The Karl Marx Gospel

 

The Land That Made Me Me!!

 I ran across this again today...

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,

Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.

There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me.

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,

Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,

Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'

And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,

And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see

A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,

And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,

Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,

And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,

And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,

At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,

And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,

And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,

Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,

And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,

And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,

And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,

And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,

And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,

And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,

We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea

Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,

And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill

And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,

And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,

And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

They send us invitations to join AARP,

We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,

And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.

And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,

Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

If you didn't grow up in the fiftys, You missed the greatest time in history, Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.

Why Standard Railroad Tracks Are the Width They Are

 Things you didn't learn in grade school...

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Well, because that's the way they built them in England, and English engineers designed the first US railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the wagon tramways, and that's the gauge they used. So, why did 'they' use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that same wheel spacing. Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break more often on some of the old, long-distance roads in England. You see, that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long-distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since. And what about the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match or run the risk of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's a*s came up with this?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses (Two horses' a*ses.).

Now, the twist to the story: When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses behind.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature, of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's as. And you thought being a horse wasn't important? Ancient horses as*es control almost everything.

Biden vs. Trump Inflation Chart

 38 months into their presidencies:

Reference:  https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2024/04/the-daily-chart-bidenflation-by-the-numbers.php

An interesting observation...

 

Why?????

 From my friend Helen who copied it from someone else:

*  Why is it when archaeologists find human remains, they always determine that they are either male or female and none of the other hundreds of genders?

 *  Why is it that so many are more outraged that Brittney Griner was stuck in Russia than they were about Americans being stranded in Afghanistan?

  • How is it that the government can’t control gasoline prices…but the weather is something they can fix?

• We’re churning out a generation of poorly educated people with no skill, no ambition, no guidance, and no realistic expectations of what it means to go to work.—Mike Rowe

 • If kids knew what they wanted to be at age eight, the world would be filled with cowboys and princesses. I wanted to be a pirate. Thank goodness nobody took me seriously and scheduled me for eye removal and peg leg surgery. —Bill Maher

 • Why were we told to lower our AC usage on hot days to prevent overwhelming the electric grid while simultaneously being told to trade in our gas cars for electric vehicles?

 • Why is canceling student debt a good idea? Does it make sense to reward people who do not honor their financial commitment by taxing the people who do?

 • Does it make sense to cut off oil from an ally and buy it from an enemy who calls for your death?

 • Are we living in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended?

 • Is this a great description of America: Andy has left town and Barney is in charge?

 • Why is talking sexually in the workplace considered sexual harassment to adults…but talking about sexuality to children K-3 at school is considered education?

 • Who else had a ‘ministry of truth”…Hitler…Goebbels…Stalin...Mao

 • Eliminating the production of 500,000 American barrels of oil a day to buy 500,000 barrels a day from Russia is simply…well…stupid.

 • I saw a movie where only the police and military had guns; it was called Schindler’s List.

 • If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?

 • Why are we running out of money for Social Security and Medicare and not for welfare, illegals and free college?

 • I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted, it was for my lawn mower, but I'm trying to stay positive.

 • There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common sense.

 • If a 17 year old isn’t mature enough to legally own a firearm or drink alcohol, then maybe five year olds aren’t mature enough to change their gender.  

 • Sign in Texas:  "DON’T VOTE FOR WHAT YOU FLED!"

 • Nobody called it “Toxic Masculinity" when we were saving the world.

 • Mice die in mouse traps because they do not understand why the cheese is free. Just like socialism.

 • The most powerful governments on earth can’t stop a virus from spreading…but they say they can change the earth’s temperature if you pay more taxes

 • Want to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s how gun control and COVID lockdowns work.

 • If you don’t want to stand for the national anthem, perhaps you should give your legs to a veteran who lost his. That way a real man can stand in your place.

 • If socialism is so good and capitalism is so bad…then why aren’t the caravans heading to Venezuela?

 History is not there for us to like or dislike. It is there for us to learn from. And if it offends you, even better…because then you are less likely to repeat it. It is not anyone’s to erase…it belongs to all of us.

Helen seems to be smarter and wiser than half our population!

Where to Retire?

My friend Helen finds the best funnies...

You can retire to Arizona where…

1. You are willing to park three blocks away from your house because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your rear-end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for four hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door at 500 degrees.
6. The four seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot.

-OR-

You can retire to California where…
1. You make over $450,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
5. The four seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud and Drought.

-OR-

You can retire to New York City where…
1 You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature.”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

-OR-
You can retire to Minnesota where…
1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup
2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.
3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.

-OR-
You can retire to The Deep South where.
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jim Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either: "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder.”
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his heart” at the end!

-OR-
You can move to Colorado where…
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home, so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail .

-OR-
You can retire to Nebraska or Kansas where…
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is three cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end every sentence with the phrase, "Where's my coat at?”

-OR-
FINALLY you can retire to Florida where…
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind - even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent cardiologist, dermatologist, proctologist, podiatrist, or orthopedist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.

 

Your Economic Stimulus Payment is Coming Soon

 Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

  

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?  

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

  

Q.Where will the government get this money ?  

A. From taxpayers.  

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?  

A. Only a smidgen of it.

  

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? 

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

  

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?  

A. Shut up.  

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

  

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will  go to China or Sri Lanka .

  

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or  China ...

  

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...

  

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

  

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

  

 * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

 Instead, keep the money in America by:

  

1) Spending it at yard sales, or  

2) Going to ball games, or  

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or  

4) Beer or  

5) Tattoos.

  

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. ) 

  

Conclusion:    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

  
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

The Clown in the White House

Let's review the Trump presidency:

The clown in the White House just brokered three Middle East Peace Accords, something that 71 years of political intervention and endless war failed to produce.

The buffoon in the White House is the first president that has not engaged us in a foreign war since Eisenhower.

The clown in the White House has had the greatest impact on the economy, bringing jobs, and lowering unemployment to the Black and Latino population of ANY other president. Ever.

The buffoon in the White House has exposed the deep, widespread, and long-standing corruption in the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, and the Republican and Democratic parties.

The clown in the White House made us energy independent. 

The buffoon in the White House turned NATO around and had them start paying their dues.

The clown in the White House neutralized the North Koreans, stopped them from developing a further nuclear capability, sending missiles toward Japan, and threatening the West Coast of the US.

The clown in the White House turned our relationship with the Chinese around, brought hundreds of businesses back to the US, and revived the economy. Hello!!!!!!!

The clown in the White House has accomplished the appointing of three Supreme Court Justices and close to 300 Federal Judges.

This same clown in the White House lowered your taxes, increased the standard deduction on your IRS return from $12,500 for Married Filing Joint to $24,400 and caused your stock market to move to record levels over 100 times, positively impacting the retirements of tens of millions of citizens.

The clown in the White House fast-tracked the development of a COVID Vaccine - it will be available within weeks - we still don't have a vaccine for SARS, Bird Flu, Ebola, or a host of diseases that arose during previous administrations.

The clown in the White House rebuilt our military which the Obama administration had crippled and had fired 214 key generals and admirals in his first year of office.

This clown in the White House uncovered widespread pedophilia in the government and in Hollywood, and is exposing world wide sex trafficking of minors and bringing children home to their families.

The clown in the White House works for free and has lost well over 2 billion dollars of his own money in serving - and done all of this and much more in the face of relentless undermining and opposition from people who are threatened because they know they are going to be exposed as the criminals if he is re-elected.

I got it, you don't like him. Many of you utterly hate and despise him. How special of you. He is serving you and ALL the American people. What are you doing besides calling him names and laughing about him catching the China virus ?????

And please educate me again as to what Biden has accomplished for America in his 47 years in office? I’ll take a ‘clown’ any day versus a fork tongued, smooth talking hypocritical corrupt liar.

I am not sure I would want to have a beer with him (if he drank, which he doesn't) or even be his friend. I don’t care if I even like him. I want a strong leader who isn’t afraid to kick some ass when needed. 

I don’t need a fatherly figure - I already have one. 

I don’t need a liar - that's what Hollywood and CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, the Washington Post, and the New York Times are for.

The clown in the White House has stood for life, liberty, and law and order.

God bless Donald Trump - the most unappreciated President in history.

Google Pizza?

From a friend of a Facebook friend:

 Welcome To Google Pizza

CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:

Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.

According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:

Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…=

Gaslighting

 WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? (author unknown)

The term originates in the systematic psychological manipulation of a victim by her husband in Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 stage play Gas Light, and the film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944. In the story, the husband attempts to convince his wife and others that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken, remembering things incorrectly, or delusional when she points out these changes. The play's title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home, while pretending nothing has changed, in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions. The wife repeatedly asks her husband to confirm her perceptions about the dimming lights, but in defiance of reality, he keeps insisting that the lights are the same and instead it is she who is going insane.

We are living in a perpetual state of gaslighting. The reality that we are being told by the media is at complete odds with what we are seeing with our own two eyes. And when we question the false reality that we are being presented, or we claim that what we see is that actual reality, we are vilified as racist or bigots or just plain crazy. You’re not racist. You’re not crazy. You’re being gaslighted.

New York State has twice as many deaths from Covid-19 than any other state, and New York has accounted for one fifth of all Covid-19 deaths, but we are told that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has handled the pandemic better than any other governor. But if we support policies of Governors whose states had only a fraction of the infections and deaths as New York, we’re called anti-science and want people to die. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

We see mobs of people looting stores, smashing windows, setting cars on fire and burning down buildings, but we are told that these demonstrations are peaceful protests. And when we call this destruction of our cities, riots, we are called racists. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

We see the major problem destroying many inner-cities is crime; murder, gang violence, drug dealing, drive-by shootings, armed robbery, but we are told that it is not crime, but the police that are the problem in the inner-cities. We are told we must defund the police and remove law enforcement from crime-riddled cities to make them safer. But if we advocate for more policing in cities overrun by crime, we are accused of being white supremacists and racists. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

The United States of America accepts more immigrants than any other country in the world. The vast majority of the immigrants are “people of color”, and these immigrants are enjoying freedom and economic opportunity not available to them in their country of origin, but we are told that the United States is the most racist and oppressive country on the planet, and if we disagree, we are called racist and xenophobic. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Capitalist countries are the most prosperous countries in the world The standard of living is the highest in capitalist countries. We see more poor people move up the economic ladder to the middle and even the wealthy class through their effort and ability in capitalist countries than any other economic system in the world, but we are told capitalism is an oppressive system designed to keep people down. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Communist countries killed over 100 million people in the 20th century. Communist countries strip their citizens of basic hman rights, dictate every aspect of their lives, treat their citizens like slaves, and drive their economies into the ground, but we are told that Communism is the fairest, most equitable, freest and most prosperous economic system in the world. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

The most egregious example of gaslighting is the concept of “white fragility”. You spend your life trying to be a good person, trying to treat people fairly and with respect. You disavow racism and bigotry in all its forms. You judge people solely on the content of their character and not by the color of their skin. You don’t discriminate based on race or ethnicity. But you are told you are a racist, not because of something you did or said, but solely because of the color of your skin. You know instinctively that charging someone with racism because of their skin color is itself racist. You know that you are not racist, so you defend yourself and your character, but you are told that your defense of yourself is proof of your racism. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Gaslighting has become one of the most pervasive and destructive tactics in American politics. It is the exact opposite of what our political system was meant to be. It deals in lies and psychological coercion, and not the truth and intellectual discourse. If you ever ask yourself if you’re crazy, you are not. Crazy people aren’t sane enough to ask themselves if they’re crazy. So, trust yourself, believe what’s in your heart. Trust your eyes over what you are told. Never listen to the people who tell you that you are crazy, because you are not, you’re being gaslighted.

Sophocles said: "What people believe prevails over the truth."

And that's what the media are trying to exploit.

The Economy is So Bad That ...

Thoughts on the Wuhan Virus

THOUGHTS FOR ALL YOU DEEP THINKERS IN 

THIS RED-CHI-COM-FLU-VIRUS ERA...

 Going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.

Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use!

So can we expect car insurance to go down since nobody can go anywhere? Just wondering... Jake, from State Farm...

People keep asking “is coronavirus really that serious?”  Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious!

Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper.

Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little shits!!!

The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.

Cops these days will be like…come out with your hands washed!

Day 56 of quarantine…ate all the snacks and food…clothes no longer fit… but I’m still wearing gloves and mask for my protection.

I’m as bored as an Amish electrician!

Homeschooling Update: My child just said I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year!

Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!

And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.

Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but staying home on the couch can do for your country.

50 million children being homeschooled by gun owning parents and not one single school mass shooting. Arming teachers works!!!

Police confront nudist sunbathers over not wearing facemasks amid coronavirus outbreak.

Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.

I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!

Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year!

With so many sporting events cancelled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship…It’s on Paperview.

Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle.

I’m just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there’s a turd in Saturday.

Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 56 days!

Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. WTH…

It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for 2 Months now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.

Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 68%?

Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating…

We Live in a Bizarre World...

Thank you, Bill:

We are living in a Bizarre World

If a mentally-ill dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.

It’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.

Russians influencing our elections are bad, but Mexicans voting in our elections are good.

It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.

Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.

It’s wrong to steal, but it’s cool to demand that the government steal for you.

Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance, and then they are forced to buy it for illegals.

People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.

People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.

Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.

Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.

We demand that the government be in control of our health care, but then we are outraged when the government makes our health care decisions.

$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.

If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.

People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.

It’s terrible when the President says that Puerto Rico’s politicians are corrupt, but it’s wonderful when Puerto Rico’s politicians are kicked out of office for corruption.

We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.

Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.