The Land That Made Me Me!!

 I ran across this again today...

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,

Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot.

There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me.

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,

Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,

Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee'

And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,

And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see

A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,

And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,

Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,

And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,

And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,

At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,

And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,

And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,

Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,

And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,

And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,

And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,

And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,

And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,

And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,

We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea

Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,

And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill

And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,

And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,

And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

They send us invitations to join AARP,

We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,

And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.

And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,

Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

If you didn't grow up in the fiftys, You missed the greatest time in history, Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.

Do you remember Mergatroyd?

 Mergatroyd:  Do you remember that word? Would you believe my spell-checker did not recognize the word, Mergatroyd?  Heavens to Mergatroyd! 

The other day a not so elderly lady (maybe 75) said something to her son about driving a jalopy, and he looked at her quizzically and said, "What the heck is a jalopy?" He had never heard of the word jalopy! She knew she was old ... but not that old.

Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle.

Thank you to whomever dug up these old expressions that have become obsolete because of the march of technology. These phrases included: Don't touch that dial; Carbon copy; You sound like a broken record; and Hung out to dry.

Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We'd put on our best bib and tucker, to straighten up and fly right.  Heavens to Betsy! Gee willikers!  Jumping Jehoshaphat!  Holy Moley!

We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley. And don’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill:  not for all the tea in China!

Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when's the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes, and pedal pushers.  Kilroy was here, but he isn't anymore.

We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!" or, "This is a fine kettle of fish!" we discover that the words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.  Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we've left behind. We blink, and they're gone.

Where have all those great phrases gone?  Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It's your nickel. Don't forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper.

Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I'll see you in the funny papers. Don't take any wooden nickels.  So’s your old man.

It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has little liver pills.

Carter's Little Liver Pills are gone too!  So see ya later, alligator! Okidoky.

WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF THE FABULOUS 50'S . NO ONE WILL EVER HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY AGAIN … WE WERE GIVEN ONE OF OUR MOST PRECIOUS GIFTS: LIVING IN THE PEACEFUL AND COMFORTABLE TIMES CREATED FOR US BY THE "GREATEST GENERATION," GOD REST THEIR SOULS!

The Green Thing?

 

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.

The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

The older lady said that she was right our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain: Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day. Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then. We walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.

Back then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.

Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power.

We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the "green thing."

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off... Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.

Eating in the 1950s

EATING IN THE FIFTIES

Pasta had not been invented. It was macaroni or spaghetti.

Curry was a surname.

Taco? Never saw one till I was 15.

Pizza? Sounds like a leaning tower somewhere.

Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.

All chips were plain.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking .

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Chickens didn't have fingers in those days.

None of us had ever heard of yogurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible!

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognized food.

'Kebab' was not even a word, never mind a food.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.

Prunes were medicinal and stewed.

Surprisingly Muesli was readily available. It was called cattle feed.

Pineapples came in chunks or were round with a hole in the middle, in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than gasoline for it, they would have become a laughing stock.

There were three things that we never ever had on/at our table in the fifties ... elbows, hats and cell phones!

.........and there were always two choices for each meal..."Take it" or "Leave it"

Are You Older Than Dirt?

Take this quiz...

I got 18 of 19 (I don't recall P>F> Flyers)...I'm OLDER THAN DIRT and happy to be able to remember these things.

The Land That Made Me, Me

This has been around for a long time, but it explains al ot about folks like me born in the early 1940s:

==============================================

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me

For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our Prince,
Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.

We danced to 'Little Darlin', and sang to 'Stagger Lee'
And cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts, except for Jean McKinney.

And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with Lipstick, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice..

We didn't have a Star Trek Five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet, in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson , and Zeppelins were not Led.

And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lived in trees,
Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
And babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.

And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and 'gay' meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-Ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me, Me.

T-Birds came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits came big enough to cover both your cheeks.

And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power near the Land That Made Me, Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea
Or prime-time ads for those dysfunctions in the Land That Made Me, Me.

There were no golden arches, no Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill

And middle-aged was 35 and old was forty-three,
And ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard them say,
And now instead of Maybelline we swear by Retin-A.

They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller print in magazines.

And we tell our children's children of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land That Made Me, Me.

==========================================

If you didn't grow up in the fiftys, You missed the greatest time in history,

Hope you enjoyed this read as much as I did.  If So, PLEASE FORWARD this note to
someone who will appreciate these memories...

Lost Words from our childhood

Heavens to Murgatroyd!    Would you believe the email spell checker did not recognize the word Murgatroyd?

Words gone as fast as the buggy whip! Sad really! The other day, a not-so-elderly (65) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said,  “What the heck is a Jalopy?” OMG (new) phrase!  He never heard of the word “jalopy”!!

  She knew she was old but not that old...

  Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle...

  by Richard Lederer

  About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included "Don't touch that dial," "Carbon copy," "You sound like a broken record" and "Hung out to dry."

  Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We'd put on our best bib and tucker to straighten up and fly right.

  Heavens to Betsy!  Gee whillikers!  Jumping Jehoshaphat!   Holy moley!

  We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn't accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China!

  Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when's the last time anything was “swell”?

  Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the days of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers.

  Oh, my aching back. Kilroy was here, but he isn't anymore.

  We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle!”, or “This is a fine kettle of  fish!”  We discover that the words we grew up with, the words
  that seemed omnipresent, as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.

  Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we've left behind. We
  blink, and they're gone. Where have all those phrases gone?

  Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it.

  Hey! It's your nickel.

  Don't forget to pull the chain.

  Knee high to a grasshopper.

  Well, Fiddlesticks!

  Going like sixty.

  I'll see you in the funny papers.

  Don't take any wooden nickles

  Heavens  to  Murgatroyd!

  It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills.

  This can be disturbing stuff!

  We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeful times.

  For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age.

  We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory. It's one of the greatest advantages of aging.

  See ya later, alligator!

A Test for "Older Kids"

Here's a quiz for everybody...but "older kids" will do well!

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The ____ ___________ Show.

03. 'Get your kicks, __ _________ _______.'

04. 'The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to __________________.'

05. 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.'

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we 'danced' under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the '_____________.'

07. Nestle's makes the very best . .. . . _______________.'

08. Satchmo was America's 'Ambassador of Goodwill.' Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10. Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, 'Good Night, and '________ ________... '

11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their ______________.

12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by?  ____________ &_______________.

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, 'the day the music died.'
This was a tribute to ___________________.

14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the __________ ______________.

16. Remember LS/MFT _____ _____/_____ _____ _____?

17. Hey Kids! What time is it? It's _____ ______ _____!

18. Who knows what secrets lie in the hearts of men? The _________ Knows!

19. There was a song that came out in the 60's that was 'a grave yard smash.' It's name was the _________ ______!

20. Alka Seltzer used a "boy with a tablet on his head" as it's Logo/Representative. What was the boy's name? ________

How did you do?  Tell me in Comments.

Answers in Comments.  Don't cheat!

Things we don't hear any more...

From my email.

Be sure to refill the ice trays, we’re going to have company.

Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail today .

Quit slamming the screen door when you go out !

Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a shower is coming up.

Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

Wash your feet before you go to bed, you’ve been playing outside all day barefooted.

Why can’t you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

Don’t you go outside with your school clothes on!

Go comb your hair, it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.

Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.

Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won’t get on it.

Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!

Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him.

You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it off.

There’s a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go to town.

Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.

You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.

Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!

Don’t lose that button; I’ll sew it back on after a while.

Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have beads of dirt and sweat all under there.

Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don’t have to do that tonight in the dark.

Here, take this old magazine to the toilet with you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.

Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.

Don’t turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up when the Grand Ole Opry comes on.

No! I don’t have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

Eat those turnips, they’ll make you big and strong like your daddy.

That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don’t care how cold it is out there, dogs don’t stay in the house.

Sit still! I’m trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.

Hush your mouth! I don’t want to hear words like that! I’ll wash your mouth out with soap!

It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.

Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won’t get infected.

When you take your driving test, don’t forget to signal each turn

Left arm straight out the window for a left turn; left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn;
and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.

It’s: ‘Yes Ma’am!’ and ‘No Ma’am!’ to me, young man, and don’t you forget it!

Y’all come back now, ya hear.

Birth of a Candy Bar...

From here.

We didn't do it ...

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,

The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,

The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,

The ambition out of achievement, or,
God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country. Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner? or O Canada?

Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention, on Veterans day and our great country's birthday .

Take me Back to the 50's

Here's a great web site for memories of the 1950's - pictures, music, etc.

http://oldfortyfives.com:80/TakeMeBackToTheFifties.htm

Enjoy!!

Do you remember?

The perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care. How many of these do you remember?

* Candy cigarettes

* Plastic Army Men

* Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside

* Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles

* Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes

* Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum

* Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

* Chief Pontiac Signs

* P.F. Fliers

* Telephone numbers with a word prefix...(Raymond 4-601). Party lines

* Howdy Dowdy

* 45 RPM records

* 45 rpm spindles

* Green Stamps

* Metal ice cubes trays with levers

* Beanie and Cecil

* Roller-skate keys

* Cork pop guns

* Marlin Perkins

* Drive in Movies

* Drive in restaurants

* Car Hops

* Studebakers

* Topo Gigio

* Washtub wringers

* The Fuller Brush Man

* Sky King

* Reel-To-Reel tape recorders

* Tinkertoys

* Erector Sets

* Lincoln Logs

* 15 cent McDonald hamburgers

* 5 cent packs of baseball cards

* Penny candy

* 25 cent a gallon gasoline

* Jiffy Pop popcorn

* 5 cent stamps

* Gum wrapper chains

* Chatty Cathy dolls

* 5 cent Cokes

* Speedy Alka-Seltzer

* Cigarettes for Christmas

* Falstaff Beer

* Burma Shave signs

* Brownie camera

* Flash bulbs

* TV Test patterns

* Old Yeller

* Chef Boy-ar-dee

* Fire escape tubes

* Timmy and Lassie

* Ding Dong Avon calling!!

* Brylcreem

* Aluminum Christmas Trees

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown-up" life . . .I double-dog-dare-ya!