Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts

Saturday, May 07, 2022

The Cost and Benefits of Having Children

 I received this in email back in 2006, so the cost is outdated, but the thoughts still apply:

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?

* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on star's.

You get to:

* frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets
* collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas,
* receive hand prints set in clay or Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:

* first step,
* first word,
* first day of school
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits,

So, one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Love & enjoy your children and grandchildren!

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

A Message From Dad ...

 


Monday, May 11, 2015

Colombo Nails It!

  I think we all understand the problem, How do we fix the system is the BIG question.
Police Retraining

Der                                                          Unterschied:                                                          Columbo                                                          ?berf?hrt                                                          M?rder. Und                                                          ich ?berf?hre                                                          me

Now let me see if I have this right. 

There's no guidance or discipline in the home.  The family situation is so unstable, 'Junior' doesn't even know where or to whom to send a Father's Day card. 

Junior gets dumped into the education system where he is socially promoted because the overwhelmed school district can't deal with the undisciplined whelp. 

Junior's major formative influences are 'gangsta' rap videos and a corresponding peer group of gangsta wannabes.

At age 18, Junior is turned loose on society carrying a bad attitude, a broken compass and little respect for authority. 

Junior gets himself in big trouble with the law and meets dire consequences.  

Then, the situation diagnosis is that the police need more training and understanding?

Pardon me for asking, but do you really believe this bullshit?


Monday, January 20, 2014

My favorite animal...

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. 


I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals .......very much. I do, too; especially chicken and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again..


The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.


I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.


I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.


Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.  I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now..?



Monday, August 27, 2012

No Parent Left Behind?

From my email - thanks, Helen:

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district ....

Spellings have been left intact...  


1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. 


2. Please exkuce Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.  


3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse Roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.  


6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.   He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had  diahre   dyrea   direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.  There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.