Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Lauren is still cute

We visited Lauren and her family last weekend, and had fun with her.

This is at the mall where Lolo likes to climb and slide on the play equipment. Afterwards, we eat lunch and have an ice cream.

Bath time is special - and afterward she runs around naked with the towel on until somebody catches her. It is great fun!

At the park, grandma and Lolo take a break from climbing and sliding.

We went to Baskin Robbins and had a great sundae (Lolo shared everybody's, I think). Afterward, there was a fire truck in the parking lot and Lolo learned to drive it.

Here are James, Lauren and Tami in their kitchen - the classic pose (I must have 10 pictures like this over the last 2 years).

The Floors are done

After painting the walls and installing a new kitchen, we replaced some of the shag carpet with laminate wood floors. We did the entry way, the living room, dining room, family room, and bedroom hallway.

Here is what you see when you come in the front door.

Turning right into the living room...

Or going right into the family room - we still need furniture and a big-screen TV here --

And the dining room too ...

We found that the wood floors show the dust, especially in the sun light. Randy is learning to Swifter.

Lucas and Logan came to visit

Here's bleary-eyed grandpa (really old!) with wide-awake curly-hair Lucas (3 and a half) and half-awake straight-hair Logan (13 months) watching morning TV. They like Disney Channel and Sesame Street. The boys like to share grandpa's Rice Krispies cereal --

It was Lori's friend Lisa's birthday, so we had a cake for her. Here is Lori, Lisa, Logan and Lucas. Logan isn't trained to smile at the camera yet --

Logan loves to eat - and cake is a favorite. He does really well getting sustenance without too big a mess --

Lucas and grandpa like to share ice cream bars - here's Lucas doing a great job with it...

Unfortunately, many pictures didn't have enough smiles or time!

Lauren was 2 in February

Lauren likes to wear grandma's slippers --

and climb on grandpa's back and ride like a horse --

Lauren loves the mall play area - she climbs and slides --

We celebrated her birthday at a "Pump It Up" place where the kids jumped and played for an hour, then had ice cream and cake.

Lauren likes the Gymboree store --

She is really cute, eh? I'm prejudiced, I guess.

Here's our new kitchen...

We recently remodeled the kitchen, putting in new cabinets, new Silestone countertops, a replacement window, a new sink and new tile. It gave the kitchen a lighter and more modern look.

Lauren is still very cute

We were away last weekend to visit 2-year old Lauren and her parents up in Victorville. We drove up on Wednesday and met Lauren and her mom at Ontario Mills, a big shopping center. After some shopping (I bought 3 books) we had dinner at the Rain Forest Cafe - they have animated animals and birds along the walls that occasionally come "alive" - Lauren loves to watch this, but not get too close. When the cheetah snarled, she jumped.

The next day we went to the mall in Victorville, and we met Abby and her mom there for a play date. The mall has a nice play area for toddlers to climb on and jump from, and run around, and the girls had fun. Then we had lujnch - Lauren likes the Mongolian Beef barbecue - I went for the pizza. The highlight was the chocolate chip blizzard from Dairy Queen - Lauren shared mine and loved it. It's called bonding...

When Lauren's mom had to go to a class, we took Lauren to the park - there are slides and a lake there. She had a blast climbing and sliding, and we had to go to lunch afterwards at In-n-Out. Lolo shared my cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake (remember...bonding!).

Lauren is just starting to name things and string words together. She calls me "ba-ba" now - hopefully that will improve to "grand-pa" sometime soon, but "ba-ba" is OK with me. It was fun teaching her "milk shake," "blizzard," and "chocolate."

Wisdom of Larry the Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

The Princess

Once upon a time there lived a king.

The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, stone, anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE. The first brought a sword of the finest steel. But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted. The prince went away sadly .

The second prince brought diamonds. He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.

The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there."

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red . She felt something hard. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants? (Scroll down for the answer)

M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. What were you thinking??

Oh, to be 6 again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

"I'd like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What! a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being six again??"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass!!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to Get it wrong.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It was a busy - and fun - long weekend

My daughter brought her sons - Lucas (age 3 and a half) and Logan (age 13 months) down on Thursday for a five day visit. Her husband was already in San Diego on business and all of them were delighted to see him after a week apart.

Lucas is about 110% boy - he runs everywhere (including out the front door - I can catch him within 100 feet or so), talks constantly (he's very smart and remembers well), and is mechanically minded. He rarely sits still unless he doesn't feel well. That was the case the first night - he had a fever and headache - he just wanted to sit and watch videos. The fever cleared up and he was back to normal - meaning that he was real active the rest of the weekend.

Logan is a hugger - he loves to be held and played with. He is almost walking (stands alone, but drops to the floor, walks with one hand held) and crawls really fast. The little swivel hips are fun to watch. The knees are really tough - he went out on the street with bare knees! He is a great eater and loves to share his food, and yours too.

We went to the Model Train Museum in Balboa Park on Friday and the boys loved watching the models run on the tracks, past the towns, over the bridges and through the tunnels. We spent about 90 minutes there, bought some toy train engines, and had lunch at the Space Theater. On Saturday, they all went to Sea World for the day, and on Sunday they met some friends at the beach, but ended up at Chucky Cheese. They went back to Sea World on Monday and met friends there. On Monday night, another of my daughter's friends came for dinner and enjoyed the boys.

Linda and I kept the boys overnight on Saturday night, giving their parents a real night out. We always dread this, but it almost always turns out OK. When their parents left, they cried for about 10 minutes, then became interested in other things. Before bedtime, Lucas went in with Grandma to read books and play games on the bed. They had so much fun together - it was a wonderful bonding experience for both of them. By 10 PM, they turned the lights out and Lucas went right to sleep in my bed next to Linda. I put Logan down about 8:30 in the "couch room" with the queen mattress on the floor, but he awoke about 10 PM again. I got him right back down - lying down with him lying on my elbow and rubbing his back. I went into the kids bedroom and slept until 1 AM when Logan woke up again. It took an hour to get him back down, and I spent the rest of the night in bed with him. 6 o'clock was too early to wake up!

The morning routine is interesting. Lucas always wants frozen dollar pancakes for breakfast right away, and Logan will eat one but prefers berries and juice. Neither one wants to share my banana any more, but they love "Grandpa's cereal" - Rice Krispies with milk and sugar. I went through two bowls of it with three mouths slurping it up - Lucas on my right arm and Logan standing in front of me. They usually watch the Disney channel - and love the wiggles, Mickey Mouse, Little Einsteins and the rest.

Lucas is really good on the computer. We go to the Sesame Street workshop web site and he plays the games by himself - he mouses well and responds well to commands. He also likes to take pictures of his hand on the scanner for some reason. He drooled on it too, and I need to clean it up.

I took them all to the airport this morning and they flew home. I came home and put all the toys away, took out the trash, got the sheets off the beds and the mattress back on the sofabed. My daughter cleans up pretty well - the bedroom and bathroom are in good shape. I need to swifter the wood floors to get the grunge out.

We had not seen the boys since Christmas, and that is too long. We hope to go up to visit them in early May for their parents' birthdays and Mother's Day.

The memories are fresh, the house is quiet, and we're going to take a long nap this afternoon to try to recover from our latest grandparenting experience.

We are off on Wednesday to my other daughter's house to see Lauren for a few days. A grandparents job is never done, and that's the way I like it.

You know you are living in 2007 IF

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three

4. You email the person who works at the desk next to you

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with family and friends is that they don't have email addresses

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the shopping

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your mobile which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn round to get it.

10 You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee

11 You start tilting your head sideways to smile :)

12 You're reading this and nodding a laughing

13 Even worse, you know exactly to who you are going to forward this message.

14 You are too busy to notice there is no number 9 on this list

15 You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a number 9 on this list.


Monday, March 19, 2007

In the monastery

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the ' R '" ! , we missed the ' R ' !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE !!!" '

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Spring Classes for Men

My cousin sent these class summaries to me, probably thinking I should sign up for them:



Class 1 -- How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 2 -- The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 -- Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10 :00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 -- Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 -- After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7 :00 PM.

Class 6 -- Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM .

Class 7 -- Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8 -- Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 -- Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials. Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10 -- Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

Class 11 -- Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesday at 7:00 PM , location to be determined.

Class 12 -- How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13 -- How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered . Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14 -- The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesday at 6:00 PM , location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Monday, March 05, 2007

What are grandparents?

Grandparents Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret

Grandmothers are just "antique" little girls. ~Author Unknown

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~Welsh Proverb

A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television. ~Author Unknown

Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsey rides in them. ~Gene Perret

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~Ogden Nash

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree

Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown

Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first. ~Lois Wyse

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith

It's such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother - that's why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown

Grandchildren are God's way of compensating us for growing old. ~Mary H. Waldrip

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. ~Dave Barry

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret

Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

Grandmother - a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove

It's amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown

If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string - handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~Bill Cosby

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. ~G. Norman Collie

Things you probably didn't know

1 . Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

3. The dot over the letter i is called a "tittle".

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.

6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino.

9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily.

10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister.

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog.

12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eeww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the 'upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

17. Leonardo DA Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time ... hence, multi-tasking was invented.)

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

27. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples!

30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.