Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts

Friday, September 18, 2026

Gas Prices

A Facebook friend stole this from someone and reposted it, so I stole it from him.

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I keep hearing people complain that gasoline is over $4.00 a gallon. And yes, I'd love to see it at $2.00 again. But before we declare gasoline the most outrageously expensive liquid on Earth, let's put things in perspective.

For $4.00, I get a GALLON of gasoline. I pour it into a 4,000-pound machine, turn a key, and that gallon will haul me, my wife, the groceries, the golf clubs and half the junk in my trunk almost 30 miles down the highway.

That's actually a pretty impressive day's work for $4.00.

Now let's compare.

A restaurant sells me a 5-ounce glass of wine for $9. That's about $230 a gallon. And how far does it transport me? 
Usually from the dinner table to the men's room.

A fancy coffee shop can charge $6 for a 16-ounce latte. That's $48 a gallon. It doesn't transport me 30 miles. It transports me from "Leave me alone" to "Okay, now you may speak."

Bottled water at a convenience store might be $2.50 for 20 ounces. That's $16 a gallon, for something that occasionally falls out of the sky FOR FREE.

A 12-ounce energy drink at $3.50 works out to more than $37 a gallon. Apparently caffeine becomes a precious mineral once you put lightning bolts on the can.

Buy one of those little 2-ounce bottles of "energy shot" for $3. That's $192 a gallon. At that price, it shouldn't give me energy. It should mow my lawn.

Maple syrup at $8 for a 12-ounce bottle? About $85 a gallon. And its principal technological achievement is making pancakes sticky.

Vanilla extract at $6 for two ounces? That's $384 a gallon. For $384, I expect the vanilla bean to come to my house and bake the cookies.

Printer ink can cost thousands of dollars per gallon. And unlike gasoline, it sometimes refuses to come out because the printer has decided cyan is low.

Even that $9 glass of wine deserves another look. At roughly $230 a gallon, filling a typical 15-gallon gas tank with restaurant wine would cost about $3,450.

Of course, after drinking 15 gallons of wine, transportation would no longer be your biggest concern.

So yes, $4.00 gasoline is expensive.

But it's also a remarkable bargain when you think about what you're buying. You're purchasing enough concentrated energy to push several thousand pounds of steel, glass, groceries and humanity nearly 30 miles.

Meanwhile, we'll cheerfully pay $6 for coffee, $9 for wine and $3 for water, then stand at the gas pump staring at the numbers like we're watching the national debt clock.

Maybe gasoline doesn't need better pricing.

Maybe it just needs a fancier name. "Handcrafted Premium Petroleum, locally pumped, small-batch refined, with subtle notes of octane and dinosaur." Put it in a 12-ounce artisan bottle and charge $14.

We'll line up around the block.

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To me, this is common sense. You get what you want and have to pay the market price for the products. Restrict the supply, you get higher prices. Increase demand, you get higher prices.

Saturday, February 17, 2024

The Lucky Pastor

 Just for grins ...

One Sunday, when counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.
It happened again the next week!
The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
“Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he stated.
“Why Yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money and I give some of it to the church.”
The pastor replied, “That’s wonderful. But $1,000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this. How much does he send you”
The elderly woman answered, “$10,000 a week.”
The pastor was amazed. “Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?”
“He is a veterinarian,” she answered.
“That’s an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money,” the pastor said. “Where does he practice?”
The woman answered proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cathouses – one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno.”

Monday, June 15, 2015

The New $10 Dollar Bill

It's a perfect choice...


Friday, April 12, 2013

Another Great Ole and Sven Joke


Ole and Sven were fishing in the Minnesota opener when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Ole for a light.

‘Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter,’ he replied, and then, reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

‘Yiminy Cricket!’ exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands. ‘Vere dit yew git dat monster??’

‘Vell,’ replied Ole, I got it from my Genie.’

‘You haff a Genie?’ Sven asked.

‘Ya, shure It’s right here in my tackle box,’ says Ole.

‘Could I see him?’

Ole opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.
Addressing the genie, Sven says, ‘Hey dere! I’m a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?’

‘Yes, I will,’ says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.

The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks… Flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the million ducks, Sven yells at Ole, ‘Yumpin’ Yimminy, 

I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!’

Ole answers, ‘Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?”