From my cousin...
PARAPROSDOKIANS... (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected - frequently humorous.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Monday, May 18, 2015
Monday, May 11, 2015
I think we all understand the problem, How do we fix the system is the BIG question.
Now let me see if I have this right.
There's no guidance or discipline in the home. The family situation is so unstable, 'Junior' doesn't even know where or to whom to send a Father's Day card.
Junior gets dumped into the education system where he is socially promoted because the overwhelmed school district can't deal with the undisciplined whelp.
Junior's major formative influences are 'gangsta' rap videos and a corresponding peer group of gangsta wannabes.
At age 18, Junior is turned loose on society carrying a bad attitude, a broken compass and little respect for authority.
Junior gets himself in big trouble with the law and meets dire consequences.
Then, the situation diagnosis is that the police need more training and understanding?
Pardon me for asking, but do you really believe this bullshit?