Why?????

 From my friend Helen who copied it from someone else:

*  Why is it when archaeologists find human remains, they always determine that they are either male or female and none of the other hundreds of genders?

 *  Why is it that so many are more outraged that Brittney Griner was stuck in Russia than they were about Americans being stranded in Afghanistan?

  • How is it that the government can’t control gasoline prices…but the weather is something they can fix?

• We’re churning out a generation of poorly educated people with no skill, no ambition, no guidance, and no realistic expectations of what it means to go to work.—Mike Rowe

 • If kids knew what they wanted to be at age eight, the world would be filled with cowboys and princesses. I wanted to be a pirate. Thank goodness nobody took me seriously and scheduled me for eye removal and peg leg surgery. —Bill Maher

 • Why were we told to lower our AC usage on hot days to prevent overwhelming the electric grid while simultaneously being told to trade in our gas cars for electric vehicles?

 • Why is canceling student debt a good idea? Does it make sense to reward people who do not honor their financial commitment by taxing the people who do?

 • Does it make sense to cut off oil from an ally and buy it from an enemy who calls for your death?

 • Are we living in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended?

 • Is this a great description of America: Andy has left town and Barney is in charge?

 • Why is talking sexually in the workplace considered sexual harassment to adults…but talking about sexuality to children K-3 at school is considered education?

 • Who else had a ‘ministry of truth”…Hitler…Goebbels…Stalin...Mao

 • Eliminating the production of 500,000 American barrels of oil a day to buy 500,000 barrels a day from Russia is simply…well…stupid.

 • I saw a movie where only the police and military had guns; it was called Schindler’s List.

 • If your electric car runs out of power on the interstate, do you walk to a charging station to get a bucket of electricity?

 • Why are we running out of money for Social Security and Medicare and not for welfare, illegals and free college?

 • I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted, it was for my lawn mower, but I'm trying to stay positive.

 • There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common sense.

 • If a 17 year old isn’t mature enough to legally own a firearm or drink alcohol, then maybe five year olds aren’t mature enough to change their gender.  

 • Sign in Texas:  "DON’T VOTE FOR WHAT YOU FLED!"

 • Nobody called it “Toxic Masculinity" when we were saving the world.

 • Mice die in mouse traps because they do not understand why the cheese is free. Just like socialism.

 • The most powerful governments on earth can’t stop a virus from spreading…but they say they can change the earth’s temperature if you pay more taxes

 • Want to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s how gun control and COVID lockdowns work.

 • If you don’t want to stand for the national anthem, perhaps you should give your legs to a veteran who lost his. That way a real man can stand in your place.

 • If socialism is so good and capitalism is so bad…then why aren’t the caravans heading to Venezuela?

 History is not there for us to like or dislike. It is there for us to learn from. And if it offends you, even better…because then you are less likely to repeat it. It is not anyone’s to erase…it belongs to all of us.

Helen seems to be smarter and wiser than half our population!

Yum, Krispy Kreme ...er, Bad?

 

First Documented COVID Test in 1553

 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS AS 2020 IS COMING TO A CLOSE!

Thank you, Helen, for a great list!  Again.

1.       The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

 

2.       I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone.   He asked me what I was wearing.

 

3.       2019:  Stay away from negative people.  2020:  Stay away from positive people.

 

4.       The world has turned upside down.  Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

 

5.       This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog.  It was obvious she thought her dog understood her.  I came into my house & told my cat.  We laughed a lot.

 

6.       Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

 

7.     Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

 

8.     This virus has done what no woman has been able to do.  Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

 

9.     I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

 

10.    I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

 

11.    I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard.  I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

 

12.    Appropriate analogy.  "The curve is flattening so we can start lifting restrictions now” is like saying, “The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now.”  

 

13.    Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.

Poor Frank ...

 The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife. 

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for an answered prayer. Suzie stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have some praise. Two months ago, my husband, Frank, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.” 

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Frank must have experienced.

"Frank was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Frank's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place with metal staples.” 

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Frank."Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Frank is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” 

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. 

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Frank. " The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."

Gaslighting

 WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? (author unknown)

The term originates in the systematic psychological manipulation of a victim by her husband in Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 stage play Gas Light, and the film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944. In the story, the husband attempts to convince his wife and others that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken, remembering things incorrectly, or delusional when she points out these changes. The play's title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home, while pretending nothing has changed, in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions. The wife repeatedly asks her husband to confirm her perceptions about the dimming lights, but in defiance of reality, he keeps insisting that the lights are the same and instead it is she who is going insane.

We are living in a perpetual state of gaslighting. The reality that we are being told by the media is at complete odds with what we are seeing with our own two eyes. And when we question the false reality that we are being presented, or we claim that what we see is that actual reality, we are vilified as racist or bigots or just plain crazy. You’re not racist. You’re not crazy. You’re being gaslighted.

New York State has twice as many deaths from Covid-19 than any other state, and New York has accounted for one fifth of all Covid-19 deaths, but we are told that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has handled the pandemic better than any other governor. But if we support policies of Governors whose states had only a fraction of the infections and deaths as New York, we’re called anti-science and want people to die. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

We see mobs of people looting stores, smashing windows, setting cars on fire and burning down buildings, but we are told that these demonstrations are peaceful protests. And when we call this destruction of our cities, riots, we are called racists. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

We see the major problem destroying many inner-cities is crime; murder, gang violence, drug dealing, drive-by shootings, armed robbery, but we are told that it is not crime, but the police that are the problem in the inner-cities. We are told we must defund the police and remove law enforcement from crime-riddled cities to make them safer. But if we advocate for more policing in cities overrun by crime, we are accused of being white supremacists and racists. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

The United States of America accepts more immigrants than any other country in the world. The vast majority of the immigrants are “people of color”, and these immigrants are enjoying freedom and economic opportunity not available to them in their country of origin, but we are told that the United States is the most racist and oppressive country on the planet, and if we disagree, we are called racist and xenophobic. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Capitalist countries are the most prosperous countries in the world The standard of living is the highest in capitalist countries. We see more poor people move up the economic ladder to the middle and even the wealthy class through their effort and ability in capitalist countries than any other economic system in the world, but we are told capitalism is an oppressive system designed to keep people down. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Communist countries killed over 100 million people in the 20th century. Communist countries strip their citizens of basic hman rights, dictate every aspect of their lives, treat their citizens like slaves, and drive their economies into the ground, but we are told that Communism is the fairest, most equitable, freest and most prosperous economic system in the world. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

The most egregious example of gaslighting is the concept of “white fragility”. You spend your life trying to be a good person, trying to treat people fairly and with respect. You disavow racism and bigotry in all its forms. You judge people solely on the content of their character and not by the color of their skin. You don’t discriminate based on race or ethnicity. But you are told you are a racist, not because of something you did or said, but solely because of the color of your skin. You know instinctively that charging someone with racism because of their skin color is itself racist. You know that you are not racist, so you defend yourself and your character, but you are told that your defense of yourself is proof of your racism. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Gaslighting has become one of the most pervasive and destructive tactics in American politics. It is the exact opposite of what our political system was meant to be. It deals in lies and psychological coercion, and not the truth and intellectual discourse. If you ever ask yourself if you’re crazy, you are not. Crazy people aren’t sane enough to ask themselves if they’re crazy. So, trust yourself, believe what’s in your heart. Trust your eyes over what you are told. Never listen to the people who tell you that you are crazy, because you are not, you’re being gaslighted.

Sophocles said: "What people believe prevails over the truth."

And that's what the media are trying to exploit.

At the Doctor's Office ...

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...

Thoughts on the Wuhan Virus

THOUGHTS FOR ALL YOU DEEP THINKERS IN 

THIS RED-CHI-COM-FLU-VIRUS ERA...

 Going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.

Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use!

So can we expect car insurance to go down since nobody can go anywhere? Just wondering... Jake, from State Farm...

People keep asking “is coronavirus really that serious?”  Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious!

Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper.

Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little shits!!!

The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.

Cops these days will be like…come out with your hands washed!

Day 56 of quarantine…ate all the snacks and food…clothes no longer fit… but I’m still wearing gloves and mask for my protection.

I’m as bored as an Amish electrician!

Homeschooling Update: My child just said I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year!

Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!

And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.

Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but staying home on the couch can do for your country.

50 million children being homeschooled by gun owning parents and not one single school mass shooting. Arming teachers works!!!

Police confront nudist sunbathers over not wearing facemasks amid coronavirus outbreak.

Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.

I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!

Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year!

With so many sporting events cancelled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship…It’s on Paperview.

Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle.

I’m just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there’s a turd in Saturday.

Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 56 days!

Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. WTH…

It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for 2 Months now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.

Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 68%?

Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating…

Some COVID-19 Humor

I hope this brightens your day.  It did mine.  Thank you, Bonnie, for the email.

• Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

• I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
• I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
• Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
• PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
• Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
• I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
• This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
• So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
• Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
• My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
• Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
• I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
• I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
• Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
• Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.
• Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.

The Receptionist

From my email, thank you Helen:

The Snotty Receptionist

Yesterday I had an appointment to see the urologist for a prostate exam.  I was a bit on edge because all my friends have either gone under the knife or had those pellets implanted.The waiting room was full.

The receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. I gave her my name, and in a very loud voice, she said:

“YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE.  YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at me, a now very embarrassed man.

But as usual, I recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, “NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.”

The room erupted with applause!

DON’T MESS WITH OLD GUYS!

Prayers for Jim

From my email, where do my correspondents get these things?

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.|
 A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, “I have a praise.”

“Yes, Mrs. Kisselman?” the pastor prompted.

“Two months ago,” she began in a firm, clear voice as she turned to the packed house, “my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.

She continued, “Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.

She went on, “Now, Jim is out of the hospital and, the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

The lady made a slight bow of thanks and headed back for her pew as all the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, “I’m Jim. I just wanted to tell my wife, once again, that the word is sternum!

Latest Health Care News

From my Facebook feed...

The Medical Community is unable to reach consensus on what to do with the health insurance situation:

Here is the latest health care news..

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Welcome to the 4th Industrial Revolution

From the Singularity Summit:

In 1998, Kodak had 170,000 employees and sold 85% of all photo paper worldwide.

Within just a few years, their business model disappeared and they went bankrupt.What happened to Kodak will happen in a lot of industries in the next 10 years and, most people won’t see it coming.

Did you think in 1998 that 3 years later you would never take pictures on film again?

Yet digital cameras were invented in 1975. The first ones only had 10,000 pixels, but followed Moore’s law. So as with all exponential technologies, it was a disappointment for a time, before it became way superior and became mainstream in only a few short years.

It will now happen again with Artificial Intelligence, health, autonomous and electric cars, education, 3D printing, agriculture, and jobs. Welcome to the 4th Industrial Revolution. Welcome to the Exponential Age.

Software will disrupt most traditional industries in the next 5-10 years.

• Uber is just a software tool, they don’t own any cars, and are now the biggest taxi company in the world.

• Airbnb is now the biggest hotel company in the world, although they don’t own any properties.

• Artificial Intelligence: Computers become exponentially better in understanding the world. This year, a computer beat the best Go-player in the world, 10 years earlier than expected.

• In the US , young lawyers already don’t get jobs. Because of IBM’s Watson, you can get legal advice (so far for more or less basic stuff) within seconds, with 90% accuracy compared with 70% accuracy when done by humans.  So if you study law, stop immediately. There will be 90% fewer lawyers in the future, only specialists will remain.

• Watson already helps nurses diagnosing cancer, its 4 times more accurate than human nurses.

• Facebook now has a pattern recognition software that can recognize faces better than humans. In 2030, computers will become more intelligent than humans.

• Autonomous cars : In 2018 the first self driving cars will appear for the public. Around 2020, the complete industry will start to be disrupted. You don’t want to own a car anymore. You will call a car with your phone, it will show up at your location and drive you to your destination. You will not need to park it, you only pay for the driven distance and can be productive while driving.  Our kids will never get a driver’s licence and will never own a car.  It will change the cities, because we will need 90-95% less cars for that. We can transform former parking spaces into parks.  1.2 million people die each year in car accidents worldwide. We now have one accident every 60,000 miles (100,000 km), with autonomous driving that will drop to 1 accident in 6 million miles (10 million km). That will save a million lives each year.  Most car companies will probably become bankrupt. Traditional car companies try the evolutionary approach and just build a better car, while tech companies (Tesla, Apple, Google) will do the revolutionary approach and build a computer on wheels.  Many engineers from Volkswagen and Audi are completely terrified of Tesla.  Insurance companies will have massive trouble because without accidents, the insurance will become 100x cheaper. Their car insurance business model will disappear.

• Real estate will change. Because if you can work while you commute, people will move further away to live in a more beautiful neighborhood.

• Electric cars will become mainstream about 2020. Cities will be less noisy because all new cars will run on electricity.

• Electricity will become incredibly cheap and clean: Solar production has been on an exponential curve for 30 years, but you can now see the burgeoning impact.  Last year, more solar energy was installed worldwide than fossil. Energy companies are desperately trying to limit access to the grid to prevent competition from home solar installations, but that can’t last. Technology will take care of that strategy.  With cheap electricity comes cheap and abundant water.   Desalination of salt water now only needs 2kWh per cubic meter (@ 0.25 cents). We don’t have scarce water in most places, we only have scarce drinking water. Imagine what will be possible if anyone can have as much clean water as he wants, for nearly no cost.

• Health: The Tricorder X price will be announced this year. There are companies who will build a medical device (called the “Tricorder” from Star Trek) that works with your phone, which takes your retina scan, your blood sample and you breath into it.  It then analyses 54 bio-markers that will identify nearly any disease.. It will be cheap, so in a few years everyone on this planet will have access to world class medical analysis, nearly for free.  Goodbye, medical establishment.

• 3D printing: The price of the cheapest 3D printer came down from $18,000 to $400 within 10 years. In the same time, it became 100 times faster. All major shoe companies have already started 3D printing shoes.  Some spare airplane parts are already 3D printed in remote airports. The space station now has a printer that eliminates the need for the large amount of spare parts they used to have in the past.  At the end of this year, new smart phones will have 3D scanning possibilities. You can then 3D scan your feet and print your perfect shoe at home.  In China, they already 3D printed and built a complete 6-story office building. By 2027, 10% of everything that’s being produced will be 3D printed.

• Business opportunities: If you think of a niche you want to go in, first ask yourself: “In the future, do I think we will have that?” and if the answer is yes, how can you make that happen sooner?  If it doesn’t work with your phone, forget the idea. And any idea designed for success in the 20th century is doomed to failure in the 21st century.

• Work : 70-80% of jobs will disappear in the next 20 years. There will be a lot of new jobs, but it is not clear if there will be enough new jobs in such a short time. This will require a rethink on wealth distribution.

• Agriculture : There will be a $100 agricultural robot in the future. Farmers in 3rd world countries can then become managers of their field instead of working all day on their fields.  Aeroponics will need much less water. The first Petri dish produced veal, is now available and will be cheaper than cow produced veal in 2018. Right now, 30% of all agricultural surfaces is used for cows. Imagine if we don’t need that space anymore.There are several start-ups who will bring insect protein to the market shortly. It contains more protein than meat. It will be labelled as “alternative protein source” (because most people still reject the idea of eating insects).There is an app called “moodies” which can already tell in which mood you’re in. By 2020 there will be apps that can tell by your facial expressions, if you are lying. Imagine a political debate where it’s being displayed when they’re telling the truth and when they’re not.

No Nursing Home for Me!

From my email - thanks, Helen.  This sounds like a plan!

No NURSING HOME FOR ME!!!!

 

No nursing home for us. We'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!

With the average cost for nursing home care being $188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. 

I've already checked on reservations at The Holiday Inn.  For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's $59.23 per night.

Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours In the afternoon.

That leaves $128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, Gratuities and special TV movies.  Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

$5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.  They treat you like a customer, not a patient.  There's a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of The nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.  Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.  And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.  Want to see Hawaii ? They have Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . .

Or the undertaker.  

If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand-kids can use the pool.  What more could I ask for?

So, when I reach that golden age,

I'll face it with a grin.

Remember the Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014?

Only weeks after leaving office on January 20, 2017, former President Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Troy the Plumber to come out and fix it.

Troy drives to President Obama's new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago, where all the residents have a  net income of way more than $250,000 per year.

Troy arrives and takes his  tools into the house. He is led to the guest bathroom that contains the leaky pipe under the sink. Troy assesses the problem and tells Obama that it's an easy repair, that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Troy how much it will cost. Troy checks his rate chart  and says, "$9,500."

"What?!  $9,500?!" Obama asks, stunned, "But you said it's an easy repair. Michelle will kill me if I pay a plumber that much!"

Troy says, "Yes, but what I do is charge those who make more than $250,000 per year a much higher  amount so I can fix the plumbing of poorer people for free. This has  always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied the  Democrat Congress, who passed this philosophy into law. Now all plumbers must do business this way. It's known as the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014'. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."

In spite of that, Obama tells Troy there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Troy leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone  book calling for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing  businesses in the area have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Troy's price, Obama does nothing and the leak goes un-repaired for several  more days.  A week later the leak is so bad President Obama has had  to put a bucket under the sink.

Michelle is not happy as she has Oprah and guests arriving the next morning. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk the room will flood, so Obama calls Troy and pleads with him to return.

Troy goes back to Obama's house, looks at the leaky pipe, checks his new rate chart and says, "Let's see, this will now cost you $21,000."

Obama quickly fires back, "What? A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!"

Troy explains, "Well, because of the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' a lot of wealthier people are learning how to maintain and take care of their own plumbing, so there are fewer payers in the plumbing exchanges. As a result, the price I have to charge wealthy people like you keeps rising. Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work by those who get it for free has skyrocketed! There's a long waiting list of those who need repairs, but the amount we get doesn't cover our costs, especially paperwork and record-keeping. This unfortunately has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out  of business, they're not being replaced, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they can't make any money at it. I'm hurting too, all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their 'fair share'. On the other hand, why didn't you buy plumbing insurance last December? If you had bought plumbing insurance available under the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' all this would have been covered by your policy."

"You mean I wouldn't have to pay anything to have you fix my plumbing problem?" asks Obama.

"Well, not exactly," replies Troy. "You would have had to buy the insurance before  the deadline, which has passed now. And, because you're rich, you would  have had to pay $34,000 in premiums, which would have given you a 'silver' plan, and then, since this would have been your first repair, you would  have to pay up to the $21,000 deductible, and anything over that would have a $7,500 co-pay, and then there's the mandatory maintenance program, which is covered up to 17.5%, so there are some costs involved. Nothing is for free."

"WHAT?!" exclaims Obama. "Why so much for a puny sink leak?!"

With a bland look, Troy  replies, "Well, paperwork, mostly, like I said. And the internal cost of the program itself.  You don't think a program of this complexity and scope can run itself, do you?  Besides, there are millions of folks with lower incomes than you, even many in the 'middle class', who qualify for subsidies that people like you must support. That's why they call it the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'!  Only people who don't make much money can get it. If you want affordable plumbing, you'll have to give away most of what you have accumulated and cut your and Michelle's income by about 90%. Then you can qualify to GET your 'Fair Share' instead of GIVING it."

"But who would pass a crazy act like the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'?!" exclaims the exasperated Obama.

After a sigh, Troy replies,  "Congress ... because they didn't read it."

This will help you understand Obamacare .... And here you have it, the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014'. 

What a marvelous explanation......