The Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation ... no one wanted him to leave.
Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships In the city stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs In relief, and applauds.
Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" More sighs and Loud applause.
Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, .... I will give him sex!"
There is total silence. the Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed You to say that?"
Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said 'Screw the Preacher!' "
Isn't senility wonderful? Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Scene: The City Clerk's office in San Francisco
Clerk: "Next."
Customers: "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.''
Clerk: "Names?"
Customers: ''Tim and Jim Jones.''
Clerk: "Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance.''
Customers: "Yes, we're brothers.''
Clerk: "Brothers? You can't get married.''
Customers: "Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?''
Clerk: "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!''
Customers: "Incest? No, we are not gay.''
Clerk: "Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?''
Customers: For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects.''
Clerk: But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.''
Customer 1: "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.''
Customer 2: And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?''
Clerk: "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next.''
Customers: "Hi. We are here to get married.''
Clerk: "Names?''
Customers: "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.''
Clerk: "Who wants to marry whom?''
Customers: "We all want to marry each other.''
clerk: "But there are four of you!''
Customers: "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.''
Clerk: "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.''
Customers: "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!''
Clerk: "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples.''
Customers: "Since when are you standing on tradition?''
Clerk: "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.''
Customers: "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!''
Clerk: "All right, all right. Next.''
Customer: "Hello, I'd like a marriage license.''
Clerk: "In what names?''
Customer: "David Deets.''
clerk: "And the other man?''
Customer: "That's all. I want to marry myself.''
clerk: "Marry yourself? What do you mean?''
Customer: "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together, then I can file a joint income-tax return.''
Clerk: "That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!'
NOTE: Standing next in line was a female and her dog, then an older male with four teenage females, and then a male and his blowup Britney Spears doll. No wonder the clerk walked off.
Is the purpose of this new law only to get income tax and inheritance benefits?
Customers: "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license.''
Clerk: "Names?"
Customers: ''Tim and Jim Jones.''
Clerk: "Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance.''
Customers: "Yes, we're brothers.''
Clerk: "Brothers? You can't get married.''
Customers: "Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?''
Clerk: "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!''
Customers: "Incest? No, we are not gay.''
Clerk: "Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?''
Customers: For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects.''
Clerk: But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman.''
Customer 1: "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim.''
Customer 2: And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?''
Clerk: "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next.''
Customers: "Hi. We are here to get married.''
Clerk: "Names?''
Customers: "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson.''
Clerk: "Who wants to marry whom?''
Customers: "We all want to marry each other.''
clerk: "But there are four of you!''
Customers: "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship.''
Clerk: "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples.''
Customers: "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!''
Clerk: "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples.''
Customers: "Since when are you standing on tradition?''
Clerk: "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere.''
Customers: "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!''
Clerk: "All right, all right. Next.''
Customer: "Hello, I'd like a marriage license.''
Clerk: "In what names?''
Customer: "David Deets.''
clerk: "And the other man?''
Customer: "That's all. I want to marry myself.''
clerk: "Marry yourself? What do you mean?''
Customer: "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together, then I can file a joint income-tax return.''
Clerk: "That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!'
NOTE: Standing next in line was a female and her dog, then an older male with four teenage females, and then a male and his blowup Britney Spears doll. No wonder the clerk walked off.
Is the purpose of this new law only to get income tax and inheritance benefits?
Dog Sense
Have you ever heard that a dog 'knows' when an earthquake is about to hit?
Have you ever heard that a dog can 'sense' when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?
Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?
Do you know that dogs can detect cancer and other serious illnesses and danger of fire?
Somehow they always know when they can 'go for a ride' before you even ask and how do those dogs and cats get home from hundreds of miles away?
I'm a firm believer that animals - and especially dogs - have keen insights into the Truth.
And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.
Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn't right .. . when impending doom is upon us . . they'll always try to warn us.... !!
You've been warned!
Have you ever heard that a dog can 'sense' when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?
Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?
Do you know that dogs can detect cancer and other serious illnesses and danger of fire?
Somehow they always know when they can 'go for a ride' before you even ask and how do those dogs and cats get home from hundreds of miles away?
I'm a firm believer that animals - and especially dogs - have keen insights into the Truth.
And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.
Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn't right .. . when impending doom is upon us . . they'll always try to warn us.... !!
You've been warned!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Old Church Hymns
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. From the pulpit he said , 'Today I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever Hymn that comes to your mind.'
The pastor shouted out, 'CROSS.' Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.'
The pastor hollered out, 'GRACE.'The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.'
The Pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'
The Pastor said, 'SEX.' The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at one-another, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'PRECIOUS MEMORIES.'
The pastor shouted out, 'CROSS.' Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.'
The pastor hollered out, 'GRACE.'The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.'
The Pastor said 'POWER.' The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'
The Pastor said, 'SEX.' The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at one-another, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'PRECIOUS MEMORIES.'
Overheard in 1955...
I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.
Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.
If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.
Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter
If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.
When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.
I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.
I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas .
Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.
I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.
It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.
I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.
Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.
The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.
There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.
No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood
If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.
Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.
If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.
Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter
If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.
When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.
I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL or DAMN in it.
I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas .
Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.
I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.
It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet. It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.
I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.
Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.
The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.
There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.
No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood
If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.
Meals on Wheels
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.'
The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'
God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'
God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep o n her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?'
The cat replied, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'
The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.'
God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, 'Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again.'
God answered, 'It is done.' All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep o n her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, 'Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?'
The cat replied, 'Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!'
Padres 2008 - Games 71 to 80
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
* 10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
Games 71 to 80 Summaries:
Game 71, Sunday, 15 June, San Diego at Cleveland. Indians win 7-3. Greg Maddux had a mediocre outing (6 IP, 2 ER, 5 R, 8 H, 0 BB, 2 SO, lost, now 3- 5) for him, including an error and HBP. CC Sabathia (8 IP, 3 R, 6 H, 1 BB, 10 SO, won, now 5-8) pitched fairly well - the Pads had RBIs from Huber, Greene and Barrett. The top of the order went 2 for 15. After 71 games, the Pads are 31-40 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-22 on the road, Runs 269-324, Homers 62-60. They've lost 1 in a row, and won 7 of the last 10, and are 8-6 in June.
After this game, Justin Huber was sent to Portland and Chase Headley was brought up. Kevin Kouzmanoff suffered a back strain but didn't go on the DL. Brian Giles is hurting.
Game 72, Tuesday, 17 June, San Diego at New York Yankees. Yankees win 8-0, in probably the worst game of the year. Randy Wolf (4 IP, 5 ER, 7 R, 6 H, 2 BB, 2 SO, lost now 5-5) had his worst game of the year as the Yankees pounded mistakes. Andy Pettitte and 3 relievers had 14 strikeouts, as the Pads mustered only 7 hits and 1 walk. Chase Headley made his 2008 debut with two hits and an error at 3B. After 72 games, the Pads are 31-41 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-23 on the road, Runs 269-332, Homers 62-63. They've lost 2 in a row, won 6 of the last 10, and are 8-7 in June.
Game 73, Wednesday, 18 June, San Diego at NY Yankees: Yanks win 8-5. Jake Peavy was pounded (4 IP, 3 ER, 4 R, 6 H, 2 BB, 4 SO, lost, now 5-4) and three relievers gave up 4 more runs. The Pads battled from 3-0 to 3-2, from 5-2 to 5-4, and from 7-4 to 7-5 on homers by Headley, Gonzalez and Giles. After 73 games, the Pads are 31-42 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-24 on the road, Runs 274-340, Homers 65-64. They've lost 3 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 8-8 in June.
Game 74, Thursday, 19 June, San Diego at NY Yankees: Yanks win 2-1. Josh Banks deserved better (5.2 IP, 2 R, 4 H, 1 BB, 3 SO, lost, now 2-1) but the Yanks stole bases with abandon to set up a SacFly and an RBI single. The Pads had only 5 hits off Chamberlain and 3 relievers, getting their only run in the 4th on a Tony Clark RBI double. After 74 games, the Pads are 31-43 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 275-342, Homers 65-64. They've lost 4 in a row, lost 6 of the last 10, and are 8-9 in June.
Game 75, Friday, 20 June, Detroit at San Diego: Pads win 6-2. Greg Maddux pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 1 BB, 4 SO) but didn't get the win again. The Pads got solo homers from Greene in the 4th and Headley in the 7th to take the lead 2-1 into the 8th, but Heath Bell gave up a solo homer to Polanco in the 8th. The Pads scored 4 in the 8th to make Bell a winner (now 5-3), as Adrian Gonzalez had 1 RBI and Scott Hairston had 2 RBIs. After 75 games, the Pads are 32-43 overall, 21-18 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 281-344, Homers 67-66. They've won 1 in a row, lost 6 of the last 10, and are 9-9 in June.
Game 76, Saturday, 21 June, Detroit at San Diego: Tigers win 7-5 (we were there). Cha Seung Baek pitched poorly (6.1 IP, 6 R, 8 H, 0 BB, 7 SO, lost, now 1-2) as the Tigers came back from 3-1, and 5-4 to win it. The key blow was a Thames 2-run HR off Justin Hampson in the 7th. Edgar Gonzalez and Michael Barret each had 2 RBI. After 76 games, the Pads are 32-44 overall, 21-19 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 286-351, Homers 68-68. They've lost 1 in a row, lost 6 of the last 10, and are 9-10 in June.
Game 77, Sunday, 22 June, Detroit at San Diego: Tigers win 5-3. A frustrating game as the Pads were ahead 1-0, behind 3-2 and 4-3, but could never get the key hit or make a great pitch. Randy Wolf pitched just OK (6 IP, 2 ER, 3 R, 6 H, 4 BB, 10 SO, lost, now 5-6), but the offense had 8 hits and 6 walks and could only score 3 runs. Adrian Gonzalez hit a solo homer in the first. After 77 games, the Pads are 32-45 overall, 21-20 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 289-356, Homers 69-70. They've lost 2 in a row, lost 7 of the last 10, and are 9-11 in June.
Game 78, Tuesday, 24 June, Minnesota at San Diego: Twins win 3-1. Jake Peavy pitched well (6 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 1 BB, 6 SO) but he left behind 1-0 because Kevin Slowey pitched better (6 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 0 BB, 7 SO). The Pads tied it in the 7th when Chase Headley beat out a double play grounder. But Trevor Hoffman gave up solo homers on successive belt-high fastballs to Brendan Harris and Brian Buscher and lost the game (now 1-5) and got booed in the process. After 78 games, the Pads are 32-46 overall, 21-21 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 290-359, Homers 69-72. They've lost 3 in a row, lost 8 of the last 10, and are 9-12 in June.
Game 79, Wednesday, 25 June, Minnesota at San Diego: Twins win 9-3. The Pads got 3 quick runs in the first two innings, but Greg Maddux couldn't hold the lead (5.2 IP, 6 ER, 7 R, 7 H, 2 BB, 3 SO, lost, now 3-6). The Twins hit two more homers off Padres pitching. After 79 games, the Pads are 32-47 overall, 21-22 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 293-368, Homers 69-74. They've lost 4 in a row, lost 8 of the last 10, are 9-13 in June, and 3-11 against the AL.
Game 80, Thursday, 26 June, Minnesota at San Diego: Twins win 4-3. The Pads were up 3-0 but Josh Banks gave up 4 runs in 5.2 innings and the Pads couldn't dent the scoreboard after the 3rd inning. They made the Twins relievers look good. After 80 games, the Pads are 32-48 overall, 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75. They've lost 5 in a row, lost 9 of the last 10, are 9-14 in June, and 3-12 against the AL.
In these 10 games, the Pads were 1-9, 1-5 at home, 0-4 on the road, Runs 30-55, Homers 8-17. This was the worst 10-game block of the season, and followed the best 10-game block of the season.
Hitting statistics (Avg, H-AB, HR-RBI, BB-SO) through 80 games:
Jody Gerut -- 0.289, 46-159, 3-12, 19-33
Edgar Gonzalez - 0.299, 32-107, 1-10, 8-25
Brian Giles - 0.297, 85-286, 5-28, 48-32
Adrian Gonzalez - 0.289, 91-314, 21-66, 32-67
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 0.266, 79-297, 10-34, 11-64
Chase Headley - 0.250, 9-36, 2-3, 0-14
Kahlil Greene - 0.229, 67-293, 8-31, 18-76
Scott Hairston - 0.230, 50-217, 9-20, 15-56
Paul McAnulty - 0.211, 27-128, 3-12, 26-37
Michael Barrett - 0.185, 15-81, 2-8, 8-15
Tony Clark - 0.231, 18-78, 1-8, 18-30
TEAM HITTING: 0.245, 679-2773, 70-283, 275-646
OPPO HITTING: 0.258, 721-2797, 75-352, 259-550
Pitching Statistics (W-L, ERA, G-IP, H-ER, BB-SO) through 80 games:
Jake Peavy -- 5-4, 2.77, 12-74.2, 62-23, 23-74
Chris Young -- 4-4, 4.50, 10-54.0, 50-27, 30-51
Randy Wolf -- 5-6, 4.09, 16-94.2, 90-43, 32-87
Greg Maddux -- 3-6, 3.52, 17-102.1, 106-40, 18-52
Shawn Estes -- 1-1, 3.33, 5-24.1, 18-9, 10-14
Josh Banks -- 2-2, 2.33, 7-38.2, 35-10, 8-21
Brian Corey -- 1-1, 2.82, 21-22.1, 18-7, 4-9
Mike Adams - 1-0, 3.15, 13-20.0, 16-7, 8-22
Cha Seung Baek -- 1-2, 5.11, 5-24.2, 26-14, 6-17
Heath Bell - 5-3, 2.27, 40-43.2, 32-11, 12-36
Cla Meredith -- 0-2, 4.38, 40-39.0, 42-19, 12-23
Trevor Hoffman -- 1-5, 4.85, 27-26.0, 25-14, 6-30 (15 saves)
TEAM PITCHING: 32-48, 4.16, 80-735.2, 721-340, 259-550
OPPO PITCHING: 48-32, 3.37, 80-734.1, 674-275, 275-645.
Very little went right in this 10-game block. Chase Headley came up from Portland and played every game, with Justin Huber sent down.
The DL still has Young, Estes, Bard and Iguchi on it.
Just at the time that it seemed like the Pads might make a move, they ran into superior hitting and pitching in the AL clubs. They made them all, with essentially .500 records plus or minus a few, look like World Series champions.
* 10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
Games 71 to 80 Summaries:
Game 71, Sunday, 15 June, San Diego at Cleveland. Indians win 7-3. Greg Maddux had a mediocre outing (6 IP, 2 ER, 5 R, 8 H, 0 BB, 2 SO, lost, now 3- 5) for him, including an error and HBP. CC Sabathia (8 IP, 3 R, 6 H, 1 BB, 10 SO, won, now 5-8) pitched fairly well - the Pads had RBIs from Huber, Greene and Barrett. The top of the order went 2 for 15. After 71 games, the Pads are 31-40 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-22 on the road, Runs 269-324, Homers 62-60. They've lost 1 in a row, and won 7 of the last 10, and are 8-6 in June.
After this game, Justin Huber was sent to Portland and Chase Headley was brought up. Kevin Kouzmanoff suffered a back strain but didn't go on the DL. Brian Giles is hurting.
Game 72, Tuesday, 17 June, San Diego at New York Yankees. Yankees win 8-0, in probably the worst game of the year. Randy Wolf (4 IP, 5 ER, 7 R, 6 H, 2 BB, 2 SO, lost now 5-5) had his worst game of the year as the Yankees pounded mistakes. Andy Pettitte and 3 relievers had 14 strikeouts, as the Pads mustered only 7 hits and 1 walk. Chase Headley made his 2008 debut with two hits and an error at 3B. After 72 games, the Pads are 31-41 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-23 on the road, Runs 269-332, Homers 62-63. They've lost 2 in a row, won 6 of the last 10, and are 8-7 in June.
Game 73, Wednesday, 18 June, San Diego at NY Yankees: Yanks win 8-5. Jake Peavy was pounded (4 IP, 3 ER, 4 R, 6 H, 2 BB, 4 SO, lost, now 5-4) and three relievers gave up 4 more runs. The Pads battled from 3-0 to 3-2, from 5-2 to 5-4, and from 7-4 to 7-5 on homers by Headley, Gonzalez and Giles. After 73 games, the Pads are 31-42 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-24 on the road, Runs 274-340, Homers 65-64. They've lost 3 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 8-8 in June.
Game 74, Thursday, 19 June, San Diego at NY Yankees: Yanks win 2-1. Josh Banks deserved better (5.2 IP, 2 R, 4 H, 1 BB, 3 SO, lost, now 2-1) but the Yanks stole bases with abandon to set up a SacFly and an RBI single. The Pads had only 5 hits off Chamberlain and 3 relievers, getting their only run in the 4th on a Tony Clark RBI double. After 74 games, the Pads are 31-43 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 275-342, Homers 65-64. They've lost 4 in a row, lost 6 of the last 10, and are 8-9 in June.
Game 75, Friday, 20 June, Detroit at San Diego: Pads win 6-2. Greg Maddux pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 1 BB, 4 SO) but didn't get the win again. The Pads got solo homers from Greene in the 4th and Headley in the 7th to take the lead 2-1 into the 8th, but Heath Bell gave up a solo homer to Polanco in the 8th. The Pads scored 4 in the 8th to make Bell a winner (now 5-3), as Adrian Gonzalez had 1 RBI and Scott Hairston had 2 RBIs. After 75 games, the Pads are 32-43 overall, 21-18 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 281-344, Homers 67-66. They've won 1 in a row, lost 6 of the last 10, and are 9-9 in June.
Game 76, Saturday, 21 June, Detroit at San Diego: Tigers win 7-5 (we were there). Cha Seung Baek pitched poorly (6.1 IP, 6 R, 8 H, 0 BB, 7 SO, lost, now 1-2) as the Tigers came back from 3-1, and 5-4 to win it. The key blow was a Thames 2-run HR off Justin Hampson in the 7th. Edgar Gonzalez and Michael Barret each had 2 RBI. After 76 games, the Pads are 32-44 overall, 21-19 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 286-351, Homers 68-68. They've lost 1 in a row, lost 6 of the last 10, and are 9-10 in June.
Game 77, Sunday, 22 June, Detroit at San Diego: Tigers win 5-3. A frustrating game as the Pads were ahead 1-0, behind 3-2 and 4-3, but could never get the key hit or make a great pitch. Randy Wolf pitched just OK (6 IP, 2 ER, 3 R, 6 H, 4 BB, 10 SO, lost, now 5-6), but the offense had 8 hits and 6 walks and could only score 3 runs. Adrian Gonzalez hit a solo homer in the first. After 77 games, the Pads are 32-45 overall, 21-20 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 289-356, Homers 69-70. They've lost 2 in a row, lost 7 of the last 10, and are 9-11 in June.
Game 78, Tuesday, 24 June, Minnesota at San Diego: Twins win 3-1. Jake Peavy pitched well (6 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 1 BB, 6 SO) but he left behind 1-0 because Kevin Slowey pitched better (6 IP, 0 R, 4 H, 0 BB, 7 SO). The Pads tied it in the 7th when Chase Headley beat out a double play grounder. But Trevor Hoffman gave up solo homers on successive belt-high fastballs to Brendan Harris and Brian Buscher and lost the game (now 1-5) and got booed in the process. After 78 games, the Pads are 32-46 overall, 21-21 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 290-359, Homers 69-72. They've lost 3 in a row, lost 8 of the last 10, and are 9-12 in June.
Game 79, Wednesday, 25 June, Minnesota at San Diego: Twins win 9-3. The Pads got 3 quick runs in the first two innings, but Greg Maddux couldn't hold the lead (5.2 IP, 6 ER, 7 R, 7 H, 2 BB, 3 SO, lost, now 3-6). The Twins hit two more homers off Padres pitching. After 79 games, the Pads are 32-47 overall, 21-22 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 293-368, Homers 69-74. They've lost 4 in a row, lost 8 of the last 10, are 9-13 in June, and 3-11 against the AL.
Game 80, Thursday, 26 June, Minnesota at San Diego: Twins win 4-3. The Pads were up 3-0 but Josh Banks gave up 4 runs in 5.2 innings and the Pads couldn't dent the scoreboard after the 3rd inning. They made the Twins relievers look good. After 80 games, the Pads are 32-48 overall, 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75. They've lost 5 in a row, lost 9 of the last 10, are 9-14 in June, and 3-12 against the AL.
In these 10 games, the Pads were 1-9, 1-5 at home, 0-4 on the road, Runs 30-55, Homers 8-17. This was the worst 10-game block of the season, and followed the best 10-game block of the season.
Hitting statistics (Avg, H-AB, HR-RBI, BB-SO) through 80 games:
Jody Gerut -- 0.289, 46-159, 3-12, 19-33
Edgar Gonzalez - 0.299, 32-107, 1-10, 8-25
Brian Giles - 0.297, 85-286, 5-28, 48-32
Adrian Gonzalez - 0.289, 91-314, 21-66, 32-67
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 0.266, 79-297, 10-34, 11-64
Chase Headley - 0.250, 9-36, 2-3, 0-14
Kahlil Greene - 0.229, 67-293, 8-31, 18-76
Scott Hairston - 0.230, 50-217, 9-20, 15-56
Paul McAnulty - 0.211, 27-128, 3-12, 26-37
Michael Barrett - 0.185, 15-81, 2-8, 8-15
Tony Clark - 0.231, 18-78, 1-8, 18-30
TEAM HITTING: 0.245, 679-2773, 70-283, 275-646
OPPO HITTING: 0.258, 721-2797, 75-352, 259-550
Pitching Statistics (W-L, ERA, G-IP, H-ER, BB-SO) through 80 games:
Jake Peavy -- 5-4, 2.77, 12-74.2, 62-23, 23-74
Chris Young -- 4-4, 4.50, 10-54.0, 50-27, 30-51
Randy Wolf -- 5-6, 4.09, 16-94.2, 90-43, 32-87
Greg Maddux -- 3-6, 3.52, 17-102.1, 106-40, 18-52
Shawn Estes -- 1-1, 3.33, 5-24.1, 18-9, 10-14
Josh Banks -- 2-2, 2.33, 7-38.2, 35-10, 8-21
Brian Corey -- 1-1, 2.82, 21-22.1, 18-7, 4-9
Mike Adams - 1-0, 3.15, 13-20.0, 16-7, 8-22
Cha Seung Baek -- 1-2, 5.11, 5-24.2, 26-14, 6-17
Heath Bell - 5-3, 2.27, 40-43.2, 32-11, 12-36
Cla Meredith -- 0-2, 4.38, 40-39.0, 42-19, 12-23
Trevor Hoffman -- 1-5, 4.85, 27-26.0, 25-14, 6-30 (15 saves)
TEAM PITCHING: 32-48, 4.16, 80-735.2, 721-340, 259-550
OPPO PITCHING: 48-32, 3.37, 80-734.1, 674-275, 275-645.
Very little went right in this 10-game block. Chase Headley came up from Portland and played every game, with Justin Huber sent down.
The DL still has Young, Estes, Bard and Iguchi on it.
Just at the time that it seemed like the Pads might make a move, they ran into superior hitting and pitching in the AL clubs. They made them all, with essentially .500 records plus or minus a few, look like World Series champions.
Monday, June 16, 2008
The life beyond
A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Connie, . . . Connie.':
'Is that you, Pete?'
'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'
'That's wonderful! What's it like?'
'Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud -- lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.'
'Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!'
' Not exactly. I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona .'
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, 'Connie, . . . Connie.':
'Is that you, Pete?'
'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'
'That's wonderful! What's it like?'
'Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud -- lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.'
'Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!'
' Not exactly. I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona .'
Monday, June 09, 2008
Padres 2008 - Games 61 to 70
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
* 10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
Games 61 to 70 Summaries:
* Game 61, Wednesday, 4 June, Chicago Cubs at San Diego: Pads win 2-1. Greg Maddux pitched his best game of the year (7 IP, 1 R, 3 H, 0 BB, 4 SO) but the Pads didn't break the 1-1 tie until the 8th inning. Heath Bell got the win, and Trevor the Save (#12). Scott Hairston led off the first with a homer, and Kouzmanoff hit a sacrifice fly in the 8th for the winning run. After 61 games, the Pads are 24-37 overall, 14-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 224-288, Homers 50-54. They've won 1 in a row, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 62, Thursday, 5 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 2-1 (we were there). Josh Banks pitched well (6 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 0 BB, 3 SO) but the Pads didn't score the winning run until the 9th when Paul McAnulty drove in a run as a hit batter. Hampson, Bell and Hoffman (won, now 1-4) pitched 3 hitless innings. The Pads had 12 hits and 7 walks, and left 15 men on base. After 62 games, the Pads are 25-37 overall, 15-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 226-289, Homers 50-54. They've won 2 in a row, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 63, Friday, 6 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 2-1 (third straight 2-1 game). Randy Wolf pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 7 H, 2 BB, 2 SO), outdueling Johan Santana (6 IP, 2 R, 1 ER, 7 H, 1 BB, 5 SO). The Pads scored twice in the 6th, with RBIs from Adrian Gonzalez and Kevin Kouzmanoff. Bell (hold #11) and Hoffman (save #13) pitched two hitless innings in relief. After 63 games, the Pads are 26-37 overall, 16-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 228-290, Homers 50-54. They've won 3 in a row, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 64, Saturday, 7 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 2-1 in 10 innings (fourth straight 2-1 game, a major league record). Cha Seung Baek continued the string of good starts (6 IP, 1 R, 7 H, 2 BB, 2 SO), working out of jams. The Pads scored a run in the 5th to tie the game on a Michael Barrett solo homer, and won it in the 10th on a Scott Hairston solo homer. Corey, Bell and Mike Adams (won, now 1-0) pitched 4 scoreless innings in relief. After 64 games, the Pads are 27-37 overall, 17-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 230-291, Homers 52-54. They've won 4 in a row, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 65, Sunday, 8 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 8-6. The Cubs scored 3 in the first off Ledezma (4 IP, 5 R, 6 H, 4 BB, 4 SO), but the Pads scored 3 in the bottom of the first off Pedro Martinez (5 IP, 4 R, 10 H, 0 BB, 4 SO). The score was 6-4 in the bottom of the 8th when Jody Gerut singled home a run and Tony Clark hit his first Padres homer on a full count off closer Billy Wagner. Carlos Guevara got the win, and Trevor Hoffman notched his 14th save. After 65 games, the Pads are 28-37 overall, 18-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 238-297, Homers 53-54. They've won 5 in a row, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 66, Tuesday, 10 June, LA Dodgers at San Diego: Dodgers win 7-2. Greg Maddux pitched well again (6 IP, 1 R, 6 H, 3 BB 1 SO) but the bullpen let the team down again - 4 runs in the 7th off Corey, Hampson and Bell, and 2 in the 9th off Thatcher. The Pads scored single runs in the 3rd and 6th. After 66 games, the Pads are 28-38 overall, 18-18 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 240-304, Homers 53-54. They've lost 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 6, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 67, Wednesday, 11 June, LA Dodgers at San Diego: Pads win 4-1. Randy Wolf pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 4 H, 1 BB, 9 SO, won, now 5-4) an d Bell and Hoffman (Save #15) finished it off. Edgar Gonzalez and Kahlil Greene hit solo homers. After 67 games, the Pads are 29-38 overall, 19-18 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 244-305, Homers 55-55. They've won 1 in a row, won 6 of the last 7, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 68, Thursday, 12 June, LA Dodgers at San Diego: Pads win 9-0 (we were there). Jake Peavy came off the DL to dominate the Dodgers (6 IP, 0 R, 3 H, 0 BB, 4 SO, won, now 5-3) and Hampson, Corey and Adams finished the shutout. The Pads scored 5 in the first on a 3-run homer by Brian Giles and a solo by Adrian Gonzalez. After 68 games, the Pads are 30-38 overall, 20-18 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 253-305, Homers 57-55. They've won 2 in a row, won 7 of the last 8, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 69, Friday, 13 June, San Diego at Cleveland (AL): Indians win 9-5. The pitchers were poor - Banks, Meredith (lost, now 0-2), Adams and Guevara all gave up runs. The Pads had 14 hits, and were ahead 4-3 after 5 innings, but couldn't touch the Cleveland bullpen. Kouzmanoff and Adrian Gonzalez had homers for the Pads. After 69 games, the Pads are 30-39 overall, 20-18 at home, 10-21 on the road, Runs 258-314, Homers 59-58. They've lost 1 in a row, won 7 of the last 9, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 70, Saturday, 14 June, San Diego at Cleveland (AL): Pads win 8-3 in 10 innings. Cha Seung Baek started for the Pads (7 IP, 3 R, 2 H, 3 BB, 3 SO) and gave up 3 runs on 2 hits in the first inning. Bell (won, now 4-3) and Corey pitched well in relief. The Pads chipped away on the 3-0 lead, tying it in the 8th on a Jody Gerut solo homer. In the 10th, Tony Clark walked with the bases loaded and Kevin Kousmanoff hit his 10th homer, a grand slam, to make it 8-3. After 70 games, the Pads are 31-39 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58. They've won 1 in a row, and won 8 of the last 10, and are 8-5 in June.
In these 10 games, the Pads were 8-2, 7-1 at home, 1-1 on the road, Runs 44-30, Homers 13-4. This was the best 10-game record of the season.
Hitting statistics (Avg, H-AB, HR-RBI, BB-SO) through 70 games:
Jody Gerut -- 0.289, 35-121, 3-12, 15-22
Tadahito Iguchi - 0.259, 62-239, 2-20, 23-54
Brian Giles - 0.304, 79-260, 4-26, 46-29
Adrian Gonzalez - 0.296, 83-280, 19-62, 24-59
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 0.263, 74-281, 10-33, 11-61
Kahlil Greene - 0.222, 57-257, 6-26, 16-66
Scott Hairston - 0.231, 46-199, 9-17, 13-52
Josh Bard - 0.200, 26-130, 0-7, 14-18
Paul McAnulty - 0.235, 27-115, 3-12, 24-31
Michael Barrett - 0.196, 11-56, 1-5, 5-10
Tony Clark - 0.242, 15-62, 1-7, 14-22
Edgar Gonzalez - 0.333, 23-69, 1-5, 6-12
TEAM HITTING: 0.247, 605-2448, 62-255, 242-550
OPPO HITTING: 0.255, 627-2455, 58-299, 237-485
Pitching Statistics (W-L, ERA, G-IP, H-ER, BB-SO) through 70 games:
Jake Peavy -- 5-3, 2.64, 10-64.2, 51-19, 20-64
Chris Young -- 4-4, 4.50, 10-54.0, 50-27, 30-51
Randy Wolf -- 5-4, 3.83, 14-84.2, 78-36, 26-75
Greg Maddux -- 3-4, 3.33, 14-83.2, 86-31, 15-43
Shawn Estes -- 1-1, 3.33, 5-24.1, 18-9, 10-14
Josh Banks -- 2-0, 1.29, 5-28.0, 24-4, 5-17
Brian Corey -- 1-1, 3.12, 16-17.3, 13-6, 3-8
Cha Seung Baek -- 1-1, 3.93, 4-18.1, 18-8, 6-10
Heath Bell - 4-3, 2.04, 36-39.2, 28-9, 12-33
Cla Meredith -- 0-2, 4.41, 34-32.2, 34-16, 10-19
Trevor Hoffman -- 1-4, 4.50, 25-24.0, 23-12, 6-28 (15 saves)
TEAM PITCHING: 31-39, 4.07, 70-649.2, 627-294, 237-485
OPPO PITCHING: 39-31, 3.43, 70-643.1, 605-245, 242-546.
The injury bug bit again during this ten game stretch, with Tadahito Iguchi going on the DL, and Scott Hairston straining a thumb. The Pads dumped Wil Ledezma, called up IF Craig Stansberry, and will call up OF/3B Chase Headley soon.
The team batting average improved 10 points, with Jody Gerut (13-33) and Adrian Gonzalez (13-45, 2 HR, 8 RBI) and Brian Giles (15 for 43) contributing. O). There are still way too many strikeouts (107 in these 11 games) but there were more hits (104 in these 11 games) and RBIs (47 in these 11 games).
The team ERA went down 0.12 run, and in 7 of these 10 games the pitching staff performed well.
The hitters are averaging 8.64 hits, 3.80 runs, 0.89 homers, 3.46 walks and 7.86 strikeouts per game. The opposition stats are 8.96 hits, 4.53 runs, 0.83 homers, 3.39 walks and 6.93 strikeouts per game.
* 10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
Games 61 to 70 Summaries:
* Game 61, Wednesday, 4 June, Chicago Cubs at San Diego: Pads win 2-1. Greg Maddux pitched his best game of the year (7 IP, 1 R, 3 H, 0 BB, 4 SO) but the Pads didn't break the 1-1 tie until the 8th inning. Heath Bell got the win, and Trevor the Save (#12). Scott Hairston led off the first with a homer, and Kouzmanoff hit a sacrifice fly in the 8th for the winning run. After 61 games, the Pads are 24-37 overall, 14-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 224-288, Homers 50-54. They've won 1 in a row, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 62, Thursday, 5 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 2-1 (we were there). Josh Banks pitched well (6 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 0 BB, 3 SO) but the Pads didn't score the winning run until the 9th when Paul McAnulty drove in a run as a hit batter. Hampson, Bell and Hoffman (won, now 1-4) pitched 3 hitless innings. The Pads had 12 hits and 7 walks, and left 15 men on base. After 62 games, the Pads are 25-37 overall, 15-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 226-289, Homers 50-54. They've won 2 in a row, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 63, Friday, 6 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 2-1 (third straight 2-1 game). Randy Wolf pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 7 H, 2 BB, 2 SO), outdueling Johan Santana (6 IP, 2 R, 1 ER, 7 H, 1 BB, 5 SO). The Pads scored twice in the 6th, with RBIs from Adrian Gonzalez and Kevin Kouzmanoff. Bell (hold #11) and Hoffman (save #13) pitched two hitless innings in relief. After 63 games, the Pads are 26-37 overall, 16-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 228-290, Homers 50-54. They've won 3 in a row, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 64, Saturday, 7 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 2-1 in 10 innings (fourth straight 2-1 game, a major league record). Cha Seung Baek continued the string of good starts (6 IP, 1 R, 7 H, 2 BB, 2 SO), working out of jams. The Pads scored a run in the 5th to tie the game on a Michael Barrett solo homer, and won it in the 10th on a Scott Hairston solo homer. Corey, Bell and Mike Adams (won, now 1-0) pitched 4 scoreless innings in relief. After 64 games, the Pads are 27-37 overall, 17-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 230-291, Homers 52-54. They've won 4 in a row, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 65, Sunday, 8 June, NY Mets at San Diego: Pads win 8-6. The Cubs scored 3 in the first off Ledezma (4 IP, 5 R, 6 H, 4 BB, 4 SO), but the Pads scored 3 in the bottom of the first off Pedro Martinez (5 IP, 4 R, 10 H, 0 BB, 4 SO). The score was 6-4 in the bottom of the 8th when Jody Gerut singled home a run and Tony Clark hit his first Padres homer on a full count off closer Billy Wagner. Carlos Guevara got the win, and Trevor Hoffman notched his 14th save. After 65 games, the Pads are 28-37 overall, 18-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 238-297, Homers 53-54. They've won 5 in a row, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 66, Tuesday, 10 June, LA Dodgers at San Diego: Dodgers win 7-2. Greg Maddux pitched well again (6 IP, 1 R, 6 H, 3 BB 1 SO) but the bullpen let the team down again - 4 runs in the 7th off Corey, Hampson and Bell, and 2 in the 9th off Thatcher. The Pads scored single runs in the 3rd and 6th. After 66 games, the Pads are 28-38 overall, 18-18 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 240-304, Homers 53-54. They've lost 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 6, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 67, Wednesday, 11 June, LA Dodgers at San Diego: Pads win 4-1. Randy Wolf pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 4 H, 1 BB, 9 SO, won, now 5-4) an d Bell and Hoffman (Save #15) finished it off. Edgar Gonzalez and Kahlil Greene hit solo homers. After 67 games, the Pads are 29-38 overall, 19-18 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 244-305, Homers 55-55. They've won 1 in a row, won 6 of the last 7, and won 6 out of the last 10.
* Game 68, Thursday, 12 June, LA Dodgers at San Diego: Pads win 9-0 (we were there). Jake Peavy came off the DL to dominate the Dodgers (6 IP, 0 R, 3 H, 0 BB, 4 SO, won, now 5-3) and Hampson, Corey and Adams finished the shutout. The Pads scored 5 in the first on a 3-run homer by Brian Giles and a solo by Adrian Gonzalez. After 68 games, the Pads are 30-38 overall, 20-18 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 253-305, Homers 57-55. They've won 2 in a row, won 7 of the last 8, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 69, Friday, 13 June, San Diego at Cleveland (AL): Indians win 9-5. The pitchers were poor - Banks, Meredith (lost, now 0-2), Adams and Guevara all gave up runs. The Pads had 14 hits, and were ahead 4-3 after 5 innings, but couldn't touch the Cleveland bullpen. Kouzmanoff and Adrian Gonzalez had homers for the Pads. After 69 games, the Pads are 30-39 overall, 20-18 at home, 10-21 on the road, Runs 258-314, Homers 59-58. They've lost 1 in a row, won 7 of the last 9, and won 7 out of the last 10.
* Game 70, Saturday, 14 June, San Diego at Cleveland (AL): Pads win 8-3 in 10 innings. Cha Seung Baek started for the Pads (7 IP, 3 R, 2 H, 3 BB, 3 SO) and gave up 3 runs on 2 hits in the first inning. Bell (won, now 4-3) and Corey pitched well in relief. The Pads chipped away on the 3-0 lead, tying it in the 8th on a Jody Gerut solo homer. In the 10th, Tony Clark walked with the bases loaded and Kevin Kousmanoff hit his 10th homer, a grand slam, to make it 8-3. After 70 games, the Pads are 31-39 overall, 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58. They've won 1 in a row, and won 8 of the last 10, and are 8-5 in June.
In these 10 games, the Pads were 8-2, 7-1 at home, 1-1 on the road, Runs 44-30, Homers 13-4. This was the best 10-game record of the season.
Hitting statistics (Avg, H-AB, HR-RBI, BB-SO) through 70 games:
Jody Gerut -- 0.289, 35-121, 3-12, 15-22
Tadahito Iguchi - 0.259, 62-239, 2-20, 23-54
Brian Giles - 0.304, 79-260, 4-26, 46-29
Adrian Gonzalez - 0.296, 83-280, 19-62, 24-59
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 0.263, 74-281, 10-33, 11-61
Kahlil Greene - 0.222, 57-257, 6-26, 16-66
Scott Hairston - 0.231, 46-199, 9-17, 13-52
Josh Bard - 0.200, 26-130, 0-7, 14-18
Paul McAnulty - 0.235, 27-115, 3-12, 24-31
Michael Barrett - 0.196, 11-56, 1-5, 5-10
Tony Clark - 0.242, 15-62, 1-7, 14-22
Edgar Gonzalez - 0.333, 23-69, 1-5, 6-12
TEAM HITTING: 0.247, 605-2448, 62-255, 242-550
OPPO HITTING: 0.255, 627-2455, 58-299, 237-485
Pitching Statistics (W-L, ERA, G-IP, H-ER, BB-SO) through 70 games:
Jake Peavy -- 5-3, 2.64, 10-64.2, 51-19, 20-64
Chris Young -- 4-4, 4.50, 10-54.0, 50-27, 30-51
Randy Wolf -- 5-4, 3.83, 14-84.2, 78-36, 26-75
Greg Maddux -- 3-4, 3.33, 14-83.2, 86-31, 15-43
Shawn Estes -- 1-1, 3.33, 5-24.1, 18-9, 10-14
Josh Banks -- 2-0, 1.29, 5-28.0, 24-4, 5-17
Brian Corey -- 1-1, 3.12, 16-17.3, 13-6, 3-8
Cha Seung Baek -- 1-1, 3.93, 4-18.1, 18-8, 6-10
Heath Bell - 4-3, 2.04, 36-39.2, 28-9, 12-33
Cla Meredith -- 0-2, 4.41, 34-32.2, 34-16, 10-19
Trevor Hoffman -- 1-4, 4.50, 25-24.0, 23-12, 6-28 (15 saves)
TEAM PITCHING: 31-39, 4.07, 70-649.2, 627-294, 237-485
OPPO PITCHING: 39-31, 3.43, 70-643.1, 605-245, 242-546.
The injury bug bit again during this ten game stretch, with Tadahito Iguchi going on the DL, and Scott Hairston straining a thumb. The Pads dumped Wil Ledezma, called up IF Craig Stansberry, and will call up OF/3B Chase Headley soon.
The team batting average improved 10 points, with Jody Gerut (13-33) and Adrian Gonzalez (13-45, 2 HR, 8 RBI) and Brian Giles (15 for 43) contributing. O). There are still way too many strikeouts (107 in these 11 games) but there were more hits (104 in these 11 games) and RBIs (47 in these 11 games).
The team ERA went down 0.12 run, and in 7 of these 10 games the pitching staff performed well.
The hitters are averaging 8.64 hits, 3.80 runs, 0.89 homers, 3.46 walks and 7.86 strikeouts per game. The opposition stats are 8.96 hits, 4.53 runs, 0.83 homers, 3.39 walks and 6.93 strikeouts per game.
Friday, June 06, 2008
"Senor, your parrot is dead ..."
It's barely dawn and the telephone rings:
'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'
'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'
'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'
'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'
'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'
'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man?'
'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'
'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?'
'Yes, Senor Rod.'
'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?'
'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?'
'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylormade Super Quad 460 golf club.'
SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . .
LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . . . .
'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep s**t!'
'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.'
'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead'
'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?'
'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'
'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'
'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man?'
'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.'
'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?'
'Yes, Senor Rod.'
'But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?'
'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?'
'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylormade Super Quad 460 golf club.'
SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . .
LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . . . .
'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep s**t!'
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
545 People. A Pox on all of them
RE-ELECT NOBODY!
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered why, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered why, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices - 545 human beings out of the 300 million - are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red.
If the Marines are in IRAQ, it's because they want them in IRAQ.If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses - provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
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