25. Pit Toilets
By the 2000 Census, the number of Americans who lacked indoor plumbing was down to 0.6%. Even though that's still an awful lot of Americans using an outhouse or pit toilet -- 670,000 households or 1.3 million people --it's a huge improvement from 1950 when 27% of households (and over half of rural households) didn't have complete indoor plumbing.
24. Yellow Pages
This year will be pivotal for the global Yellow Pages industry. Much like newspapers, print Yellow Pages will continue to bleed dollars to their various digital counterparts, from Internet Yellow Pages (IYPs), to local search engines and combination search/listing services like ReachLocal and Yodle. Factors like an acceleration of the print "fade rate" and the looming recession will contribute to the onslaught. One research firm predicts the falloff in usage of newspapers and print Yellow Pages could even reach 10% this year -- much higher than the 2%-3% faderate seen in past years.
23. Classified Ads
The Internet has made so many things obsolete that newspaper classified ads might sound like just another trivial item on a long list. But this is one of those harbingers of the future that could signal the end of civilization as we know it. The argument is that if newspaper classifieds are replaced by free online listings at sites like Craigslist.org and Google Base, then newspapers are not far behind them.
22. Movie Rental Stores
While Netflix is looking up at the moment, Blockbuster keeps closing store locations by the hundreds. It still has about 6,000 left across the world, but those keep dwindling and the stock is down considerably in 2008, especially since the company gave up a quest of Circuit City. Movie Gallery, which owned the Hollywood Video brand, closed up shop earlier this year. Countless small video chains and mom-and-pop stores have given up the ghost already.
21. Dial-up Internet Access
Dial-up connections have fallen from 40% in 2001 to 10% in 2008. The combination of an infrastructure to accommodate affordable high speed Internet connections and the disappearing home phone have all but pounded the final nail in the coffin of dial-up Internet access.
20. Phone Land lines
According to a survey from the National Center for Health Statistics, at the end of 2007, nearly one in six homes was cell-only and, of those homes that had land lines, one in eight only received calls on their cells.
19. Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs
Maryland's icon, the blue crab, has been fading away in Chesapeake Bay. Last year Maryland saw the lowest harvest (22 million pounds) since 1945. Just four decades ago the bay produced 96 million pounds. The population is down 70% since 1990, when they first did a formal count. There are only about 120 million crabs in the bay and they think they need 200 million for a sustainablepopulation. Over fishing, pollution, invasive species and global warming get the blame.
18. VCRs
For the better part of three decades, the VCR was a best-seller and staple in every American household until being completely decimated by the DVD, and now theDigital Video Recorder (DVR). In fact, the only remnants of the VHS age at your local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack are blank VHS tapes these days. Pre-recorded VHS tapes are largely gone and VHS decks are practically nowhere to be found. They served us so well.
17. Ash Trees
In the late 1990's, a pretty, irridescent green species of beetle, now known as the emerald ash borer, hitched a ride to North America with ash wood products imported from eastern Asia. In less than a decade, its larvae have killed millions of trees in the Midwest, and continue to spread. They've killed more than 30 million ash trees in southeastern Michigan alone, with tens of millions more lost in Ohio and Indiana. More than 7.5 billion ash trees are currently at risk.
16. Ham Radio
Amateur radio operators enjoy personal (and often worldwide) wireless communications with each other and are able to support their communities with emergency and disaster communications if necessary, while increasing their personal knowledge of electronics and radio theory. However, proliferation of the Internet and its popularity among youth has caused the decline of amateur radio. In the past five years alone, the number of people holding active ham radio licenses has dropped by 50,000, even though Morse Code is no longer a requirement.
15. The Swimming Hole
Thanks to our litigious society, swimming holes are becoming a thing of the past. '20/20' reports that swimming hole owners, like Robert Every in High Falls, NY, are shutting them down out of worry that if someone gets hurt they'll sue. And that's exactly what happened in Seattle. The city of Bellingham was sued by Katie Hofstetter who was paralyzed in a fall at a popular swimming hole in Whatcom Falls Park. As injuries occur and lawsuits follow, expect more swimming holes to post"Keep out!" signs.
14. Answering Machines
The increasing disappearance of answering machines is directly tied to No. 20 on our list -- the decline of land lines. According to USA Today, the number of homes that only use cell phones jumped 159% between 2004 and 2007. It has been particularly bad in New York; since 2000, land line usage has dropped 55%. It's logical that as cell phones rise, many of them replacing traditional land lines, that there will be fewer answering machines.
13. Cameras That Use Film
It doesn't require a statistician to prove the rapid disappearance of the film camera in America. Just look to companies like Nikon, the professional's choice for quality camera equipment. In 2006, it announced that it would stop making film cameras, pointing to the shrinking market -- only 3% of its sales in 2005, compared to 75% of sales from digital cameras and equipment.
12. Incandescent Bulbs
Before a few years ago, the standard 60-watt (or, yikes, 100-watt) bulb was the mainstay of every U.S. home. With the green movement and all-things-sustainable-energy crowd, the Compact Fluorescent Light bulb (CFL) is largely replacing the older, Edison-era incandescent bulb. The EPA reports that 2007 sales for Energy Star CFLs nearly doubled from 2006, and these sales accounted for approximately 20 percent of the U.S. light bulb market. And according to USA Today, a new energy bill plans to phase out incandescent bulbs in the next four to 12 years.
11. Stand-Alone Bowling Alleys
Bowling Balls US claims there are still 60 million Americans who bowl at least once a year, but many are not bowling in stand-alone bowling alleys. Today most new bowling alleys are part of facilities for all types of recreation including laser tag, go-karts, bumper cars, video game arcades, climbing walls and glow miniature golf. Bowling lanes also have been added to many non-traditional venues such as adult communities, hotels and resorts, and gambling casinos.
10. The Milkman
According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, in 1950, over half of the milk delivered was to the home in quart bottles; by 1963, it was about a third and by 2001, it represented only 0.4% percent. Nowadays most milk is sold through supermarkets in gallon jugs. The steadydecline in home-delivered milk is blamed, of course, on the rise of the supermarket, better home refrigeration and longer-lasting milk. Although some milkmen still make the rounds in pockets of the U.S., they are certainly a dying breed.
9. Hand-Written Letters
In 2006, the Radicati Group estimated that, worldwide, 183 billion e-mails were sent each day. Two million each second. By November of 2007, an estimated 3.3 billion Earthlings owned cell phones, and 80% of the world's population had access to cell phone coverage. In2004, half-a-trillion text messages were sent, and the number has no doubt increased exponentially since then. So where amongst this gorge of gabble is there room for the elegant, polite, hand-written letter?
8. Wild Horses
It is estimated that 100 years ago, as many as two million horses were roaming free within the United States. In 2001, National Geographic News estimated that the wild horse population had decreased to about 50,000 head. Currently, the National Wild Horse and Burro Advisory board states that there are 32,000 free roaming horses in ten Western states, with half of them residing in Nevada. The Bureau of Land Management is seeking to reduce the total number of free range horses to 27,000, possibly by selective euthanasia.
7. Personal Checks
According to an American Bankers Assoc. report, a net 23% of consumers plan to decrease their use of checks over the next two years, while a net 14% plan to increase their use of PIN debit. Bill payment remains the last stronghold of paper-based payments -- for the time being. Checks continue to be the most commonly used bill payment method, with 71% of consumers paying at least one recurring bill per month by writing a check. However, on a bill-by-bill basis, checks account for only 49% of consumers' recurring bill payments (down from 72% in 2001 and 60% in 2003).
6. Drive-in Theaters
During the peak in 1958, there were more than 4,000 drive-in theaters in this country, but in 2007 only 405 drive-ins were still operating. Exactly zero new drive-ins have been built since 2005. Only one reopened in 2005 and five reopened in 2006, so there isn't much of a movement toward reviving the closed ones.
5. Mumps & Measles
Despite what's been in the news lately, the measles and mumps actually, truly are disappearing from the United States. In 1964, 212,000 cases of mumps were reported in the U.S. By 1983, this figure had dropped to 3,000, thanks to a vigorous vaccination program. Prior to the introduction of the measles vaccine, approximately half a million cases of measles were reported in the U.S. annually, resulting in 450 deaths. In 2005, only 66 cases were recorded.
4. Honey Bees
Perhaps nothing on our list of disappearing America is so dire; plummeting so enormously; and so necessary to the survival of our food supply as the honeybee. Very scary. 'Colony Collapse Disorder,' or CCD, has spread throughout the U.S. and Europe over the past few years, wiping out 50% to 90% of the colonies of many beekeepers -- and along with it, their livelihood.
3. News Magazines and TV News
While the TV evening newscasts haven't gone anywhere over the last several decades, their audiences have. In 1984, in a story about the diminishing returns ofthe evening news, the New York Times reported that all three network evening-news programs combined had only 40.9 million viewers. Fast forward to 2008, and what they have today is half that.
2. Analog TV
According to the Consumer Electronics Association, 85% of homes in the U.S. get their television programming through cable or satellite providers. For the remaining 15% -- or 13 million individuals -- who are using rabbit ears or a large outdoor antenna to get their local stations, change is in the air. If you are one of these people you'll need to get a new TV or a converter box in order to get the new stations which will only be broadcast in digital.
1. The Family Farm
Since the 1930's, the number of family farms has been declining rapidly. According to the USDA, 5.3 million farms dotted the nation in 1950, but this number had declined to 2.1 million by the 2003 farm census (data from the 2007 census hasn't yet been published). Ninety-one percent of the U.S. farms are small family farms.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Computer Crash
I can't respond to any emails today, something has crashed on my computer
and the mouse is missing. . .
How Many of Me?
http://howmanyofme.com/search/
This site tells you how many people in the US share your name. It is pretty neat.
There are 210,458 people in the U.S. with the first name Randall.
Statistically the 305th most popular first name.
More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Randall are male.
There are 4,179 people in the U.S. with the last name Seaver.
Statistically the 8152nd most popular last name.
Famous people with the last name Seaver:
Tom Seaver
There are 3 people in the U.S. named Randall Seaver.
How many are there of you?
Oh - don't click on the video!
This site tells you how many people in the US share your name. It is pretty neat.
There are 210,458 people in the U.S. with the first name Randall.
Statistically the 305th most popular first name.
More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Randall are male.
There are 4,179 people in the U.S. with the last name Seaver.
Statistically the 8152nd most popular last name.
Famous people with the last name Seaver:
Tom Seaver
There are 3 people in the U.S. named Randall Seaver.
How many are there of you?
Oh - don't click on the video!
U-P
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be Opened UP because it is stopped UP .
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many Ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so....... Time to shut UP!
Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be Opened UP because it is stopped UP .
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many Ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so....... Time to shut UP!
Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
The #1 song on your birthday
You can find the #1 song on the Top 100 list from the 1920's to the present at http://www.joshhosler.biz:80/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm.
My birthday is 23 October. The #1 songs on that day in history are:
THE 2000s
2007 ... "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by Soulja Boy Tell'em
2006 ... "Money Maker" by Ludacris featuring Pharrell
2005 ... "Gold Digger" by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
2004 ... "Goodies" by Ciara featuring Petey Pablo
2003 ... "Baby Boy" by Beyoncé featuring Sean Paul
2002 ... "Dilemma" by Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland
2001 ... "I'm Real [Murder Remix]" by Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule
2000 ... "Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)" by Christina Aguilera
THE 1990s
1999 ... "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
1998 ... "The First Night" by Monica
1997 ... "Candle in the Wind 1997/ Something About the Way You Look Tonight" by Elton John
1996 ... "Macarena [Bayside Boys Mix]" by Los Del Rio
1995 ... "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey
1994 ... "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men
1993 ... "Dreamlover" by Mariah Carey
1992 ... "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men
1991 ... "Emotions" by Mariah Carey
1990 ... "Black Cat" by Janet Jackson
THE 1980s
1989 ... "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson
1988 ... "Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins
1987 ... "Bad" by Michael Jackson
1986 ... "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper
1985 ... "Saving All My Love for You" by Whitney Houston
1984 ... "I Just Called to Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder
1983 ... "Islands in the Stream" by Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
1982 ... "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar
1981 ... "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" by Christopher Cross
1980 ... "Woman in Love" by Barbra Streisand
THE 1970s
1979 ... "Rise" by Herb Alpert
1978 ... "Hot Child in the City" by Nick Gilder
1977 ... "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone
1976 ... "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago
1975 ... "Bad Blood" by Neil Sedaka
1974 ... "Then Came You" by Dionne Warwick & the Spinners
1973 ... "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight & the Pips
1972 ... "My Ding-a-Ling" by Chuck Berry
1971 ... "Maggie May/ Reason to Believe" by Rod Stewart
1970 ... "I'll Be There" by The Jackson 5
THE 1960s
1969 ... "I Can't Get Next to You" by The Temptations
1968 ... "Hey Jude" by The Beatles
1967 ... "To Sir, with Love" by Lulu
1966 ... "96 Tears" by ? & the Mysterians
1965 ... "Yesterday" by The Beatles
1964 ... "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" by Manfred Mann
1963 ... "Sugar Shack" by Jimmy Gilmer & the Fireballs
1962 ... "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & the Crypt Kickers
1961 ... "Runaround Sue" by Dion
1960 ... "I Want to Be Wanted" by Brenda Lee
THE 1950s
1959 ... "Mack the Knife" by Bobby Darin
1958 ... "It's All in the Game" by Tommy Edwards
1957 ... "Jailhouse Rock/ Treat Me Nice" by Elvis Presley
1956 ... "Don't Be Cruel/ Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley
1955 ... "Autumn Leaves" by Roger Williams
1954 ... "Hey There" by Rosemary Clooney
1953 ... "St. George and the Dragonet" by Stan Freberg
1952 ... "I Went to Your Wedding" by Patti Page
1951 ... "Because of You" by Tony Bennett
1950 ... "Goodnight Irene" by Gordon Jenkins & the Weavers
THE 1940s
1949 ... "That Lucky Old Sun" by Frankie Laine
1948 ... "Twelfth Street Rag" by Pee Wee Hunt
1947 ... "Near You" by Francis Craig
1946 ... "Rumors Are Flying" by Frankie Carle
1945 ... "Till the End of Time" by Perry Como
1944 ... "You Always Hurt the One You Love" by The Mills Brothers
1943 ... "Sunday, Monday or Always" by Bing Crosby
1942 ... "(I've Got a Gal in) Kalamazoo" by Glenn Miller
1941 ... "Piano Concerto in B Flat" by Freddy Martin
1940 ... "Only Forever" by Bing Crosby
THE 1930s
1939 ... "Over the Rainbow" by Glenn Miller
1938 ... "I've Got a Pocketful of Dreams" by Russ Morgan
1937 ... "That Old Feeling" by Shep Fields
1936 ... "The Way You Look To-night" by Fred Astaire
1935 ... "Truckin'" by Fats Waller
1934 ... "One Night of Love" by Grace Moore
1933 ... "The Last Round-Up" by George Olsen
1932 ... "Please" by Bing Crosby
1931 ... "Good Night, Sweetheart" by Wayne King
1930 ... "Body and Soul" by Paul Whiteman
THE 1920s
1929 ... "Tip Toe Through the Tulips" by Nick Lucas
1928 ... "Sonny Boy" by Al Jolson
1927 ... "Charmaine!" by Guy Lombardo
1926 ... "Baby Face" by Jan Garber
1925 ... "Yes Sir! That's My Baby" by Gene Austin
1924 ... "Memory Lane" by Fred Waring's Pennsylvanians
1923 ... "Yes! We Have No Bananas" by Ben Selvin
1922 ... "Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Shean" by Gallagher & Shean
1921 ... "Song of India" by Paul Whiteman
1920 ... "The Love Nest" by Art Hickman
THE 1910s
1919 ... "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" by Ben Selvin's Novelty Orchestra
1918 ... "Over There" by Enrico Caruso
1917 ... "Over There" by American Quartet
1916 ... "Pretty Baby" by Billy Murray
1915 ... "Hello, Frisco!" by Olive Kline & Reinald Werrenrath
1914 ... "Cohen on the Telephone" by Joe Hayman
1913 ... "Last Night Was the End of the World" by Henry Burr
1912 ... "Waiting for the Robert E. Lee" by Heidelberg Quintet
1911 ... "Alexander's Ragtime Band" by Arthur Collins & Byron Harlan
1910 ... "Every Little Moment" by Harry MacDonough & Lucy Isabelle Marsh
THE 1900s
1909 ... "I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now" by Henry Burr
1908 ... "Cuddle Up a Little Closer, Lovey Mine" by Ada Jones & Billy Murray
1907 ... "Harrigan" by Billy Murray
1906 ... "Love Me and the World Is Mine" by Albert Campbell
1905 ... "In My Merry Oldsmobile" by Billy Murray
1904 ... "Sweet Adeline (You're the Flower of My Heart)" by Haydn Quartet
1903 ... "Harrah for Baffin's Bay" by Arthur Collins & Byron Harlan
1902 ... "The Mansion of Aching Hearts" by Harry MacDonough
1901 ... "The Tale of the Bumble Bee" by Harry MacDonough
1900 ... "Because" by Haydn Quartet
THE 1890s
1899 ... "Curse of the Dreamer" by Dan Quinn
1898 ... "She Was Happy Till She Met You" by Dan Quinn
1897 ... "There's a Little Star Shining for You" by Dan Quinn
1896 ... "On the Benches in the Park" by George J. Gaskin
1895 ... "The Band Played On" by Dan Quinn
1894 ... "My Pearl Is a Bowery Girl" by Dan Quinn
1893 ... "Daisy Bell" by Dan Quinn
1892 ... "Michael Casey Taking the Census" by Russell Hunting
1891 ... "Turkey in the Straw" by Billy Golden
1890 ... "The Thunderer" by U.S. Marine Band
My birthday is 23 October. The #1 songs on that day in history are:
THE 2000s
2007 ... "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" by Soulja Boy Tell'em
2006 ... "Money Maker" by Ludacris featuring Pharrell
2005 ... "Gold Digger" by Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx
2004 ... "Goodies" by Ciara featuring Petey Pablo
2003 ... "Baby Boy" by Beyoncé featuring Sean Paul
2002 ... "Dilemma" by Nelly featuring Kelly Rowland
2001 ... "I'm Real [Murder Remix]" by Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule
2000 ... "Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)" by Christina Aguilera
THE 1990s
1999 ... "Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas
1998 ... "The First Night" by Monica
1997 ... "Candle in the Wind 1997/ Something About the Way You Look Tonight" by Elton John
1996 ... "Macarena [Bayside Boys Mix]" by Los Del Rio
1995 ... "Fantasy" by Mariah Carey
1994 ... "I'll Make Love to You" by Boyz II Men
1993 ... "Dreamlover" by Mariah Carey
1992 ... "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men
1991 ... "Emotions" by Mariah Carey
1990 ... "Black Cat" by Janet Jackson
THE 1980s
1989 ... "Miss You Much" by Janet Jackson
1988 ... "Groovy Kind of Love" by Phil Collins
1987 ... "Bad" by Michael Jackson
1986 ... "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper
1985 ... "Saving All My Love for You" by Whitney Houston
1984 ... "I Just Called to Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder
1983 ... "Islands in the Stream" by Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
1982 ... "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar
1981 ... "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" by Christopher Cross
1980 ... "Woman in Love" by Barbra Streisand
THE 1970s
1979 ... "Rise" by Herb Alpert
1978 ... "Hot Child in the City" by Nick Gilder
1977 ... "You Light Up My Life" by Debby Boone
1976 ... "If You Leave Me Now" by Chicago
1975 ... "Bad Blood" by Neil Sedaka
1974 ... "Then Came You" by Dionne Warwick & the Spinners
1973 ... "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight & the Pips
1972 ... "My Ding-a-Ling" by Chuck Berry
1971 ... "Maggie May/ Reason to Believe" by Rod Stewart
1970 ... "I'll Be There" by The Jackson 5
THE 1960s
1969 ... "I Can't Get Next to You" by The Temptations
1968 ... "Hey Jude" by The Beatles
1967 ... "To Sir, with Love" by Lulu
1966 ... "96 Tears" by ? & the Mysterians
1965 ... "Yesterday" by The Beatles
1964 ... "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" by Manfred Mann
1963 ... "Sugar Shack" by Jimmy Gilmer & the Fireballs
1962 ... "Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & the Crypt Kickers
1961 ... "Runaround Sue" by Dion
1960 ... "I Want to Be Wanted" by Brenda Lee
THE 1950s
1959 ... "Mack the Knife" by Bobby Darin
1958 ... "It's All in the Game" by Tommy Edwards
1957 ... "Jailhouse Rock/ Treat Me Nice" by Elvis Presley
1956 ... "Don't Be Cruel/ Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley
1955 ... "Autumn Leaves" by Roger Williams
1954 ... "Hey There" by Rosemary Clooney
1953 ... "St. George and the Dragonet" by Stan Freberg
1952 ... "I Went to Your Wedding" by Patti Page
1951 ... "Because of You" by Tony Bennett
1950 ... "Goodnight Irene" by Gordon Jenkins & the Weavers
THE 1940s
1949 ... "That Lucky Old Sun" by Frankie Laine
1948 ... "Twelfth Street Rag" by Pee Wee Hunt
1947 ... "Near You" by Francis Craig
1946 ... "Rumors Are Flying" by Frankie Carle
1945 ... "Till the End of Time" by Perry Como
1944 ... "You Always Hurt the One You Love" by The Mills Brothers
1943 ... "Sunday, Monday or Always" by Bing Crosby
1942 ... "(I've Got a Gal in) Kalamazoo" by Glenn Miller
1941 ... "Piano Concerto in B Flat" by Freddy Martin
1940 ... "Only Forever" by Bing Crosby
THE 1930s
1939 ... "Over the Rainbow" by Glenn Miller
1938 ... "I've Got a Pocketful of Dreams" by Russ Morgan
1937 ... "That Old Feeling" by Shep Fields
1936 ... "The Way You Look To-night" by Fred Astaire
1935 ... "Truckin'" by Fats Waller
1934 ... "One Night of Love" by Grace Moore
1933 ... "The Last Round-Up" by George Olsen
1932 ... "Please" by Bing Crosby
1931 ... "Good Night, Sweetheart" by Wayne King
1930 ... "Body and Soul" by Paul Whiteman
THE 1920s
1929 ... "Tip Toe Through the Tulips" by Nick Lucas
1928 ... "Sonny Boy" by Al Jolson
1927 ... "Charmaine!" by Guy Lombardo
1926 ... "Baby Face" by Jan Garber
1925 ... "Yes Sir! That's My Baby" by Gene Austin
1924 ... "Memory Lane" by Fred Waring's Pennsylvanians
1923 ... "Yes! We Have No Bananas" by Ben Selvin
1922 ... "Mr. Gallagher and Mr. Shean" by Gallagher & Shean
1921 ... "Song of India" by Paul Whiteman
1920 ... "The Love Nest" by Art Hickman
THE 1910s
1919 ... "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" by Ben Selvin's Novelty Orchestra
1918 ... "Over There" by Enrico Caruso
1917 ... "Over There" by American Quartet
1916 ... "Pretty Baby" by Billy Murray
1915 ... "Hello, Frisco!" by Olive Kline & Reinald Werrenrath
1914 ... "Cohen on the Telephone" by Joe Hayman
1913 ... "Last Night Was the End of the World" by Henry Burr
1912 ... "Waiting for the Robert E. Lee" by Heidelberg Quintet
1911 ... "Alexander's Ragtime Band" by Arthur Collins & Byron Harlan
1910 ... "Every Little Moment" by Harry MacDonough & Lucy Isabelle Marsh
THE 1900s
1909 ... "I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now" by Henry Burr
1908 ... "Cuddle Up a Little Closer, Lovey Mine" by Ada Jones & Billy Murray
1907 ... "Harrigan" by Billy Murray
1906 ... "Love Me and the World Is Mine" by Albert Campbell
1905 ... "In My Merry Oldsmobile" by Billy Murray
1904 ... "Sweet Adeline (You're the Flower of My Heart)" by Haydn Quartet
1903 ... "Harrah for Baffin's Bay" by Arthur Collins & Byron Harlan
1902 ... "The Mansion of Aching Hearts" by Harry MacDonough
1901 ... "The Tale of the Bumble Bee" by Harry MacDonough
1900 ... "Because" by Haydn Quartet
THE 1890s
1899 ... "Curse of the Dreamer" by Dan Quinn
1898 ... "She Was Happy Till She Met You" by Dan Quinn
1897 ... "There's a Little Star Shining for You" by Dan Quinn
1896 ... "On the Benches in the Park" by George J. Gaskin
1895 ... "The Band Played On" by Dan Quinn
1894 ... "My Pearl Is a Bowery Girl" by Dan Quinn
1893 ... "Daisy Bell" by Dan Quinn
1892 ... "Michael Casey Taking the Census" by Russell Hunting
1891 ... "Turkey in the Straw" by Billy Golden
1890 ... "The Thunderer" by U.S. Marine Band
Disorder in the Courts?
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
____________________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ______________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
____________________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Padres 2008 - Games 131 to 140
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
* 130 games, 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131, team BA 0.246, opposition BA 0.263, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.39.
Games 131 to 140 Summaries:
Game 131, Monday, 25 August, Arizona at San Diego: Pads win 4-2 (we were there). Peavy started, Hoffman won, now 2-6. Gerut had Pads homer.
Game 132, Tuesday, 26 August, Arizona at San Diego: Pads win 9-2. Reineke won, now 2-1. Giles had Pads homer.
Game 133, Wednesday, 27 August, Arizona at San Diego: Pads win 5-4. Baek started, Adams won it, now 2-3, Hoffman save #27. Hundley had homer for Pads.
Game 134, Friday, 29 August, Colorado at San Diego: Rocks win 9-4. Hayhurst lost (0-1). Hundley at homer.
Game 135, Saturday, 30 August, Colorado at San Diego: Pads win 9-4 (we were there). Geer won (1-0) his major league debut. No Pads homers.
Game 136, Sunday, 31 August, Colorado at San Diego: Pads win 2-1. Peavy started, Hoffman blew save and won (2-6). No Pads homers. Rodriguez singled home winning run in 9th.
Game 137, Monday, 1 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers won 5-2. Young lost (4-5), no Pads homers.
Game 138 - Tuesday, 2 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 8-4. Baek lost (4-9). no Pads homers.
Game 139 - Wednesday, 3 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 6-4. LeBlanc lost (0-1) his major league debut. Kouzmanoff (20) had homer.
Game 140, Thursday, 4 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Pads win 5-2. Estes won (3-1). Venable (1) homered.
After 140 games, the Pads are 54-86 overall, 32-39 at home, 22-47 on the road, Runs 542-659, Homers 132-142. They've won 6 of the last 10, and were are 11-16 in August, and are 1-3 in September. The team BA is 0.248, opposition BA is 0.261, team ERA is 4.37, opposition ERA is 3.49.
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
* 130 games, 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131, team BA 0.246, opposition BA 0.263, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.39.
Games 131 to 140 Summaries:
Game 131, Monday, 25 August, Arizona at San Diego: Pads win 4-2 (we were there). Peavy started, Hoffman won, now 2-6. Gerut had Pads homer.
Game 132, Tuesday, 26 August, Arizona at San Diego: Pads win 9-2. Reineke won, now 2-1. Giles had Pads homer.
Game 133, Wednesday, 27 August, Arizona at San Diego: Pads win 5-4. Baek started, Adams won it, now 2-3, Hoffman save #27. Hundley had homer for Pads.
Game 134, Friday, 29 August, Colorado at San Diego: Rocks win 9-4. Hayhurst lost (0-1). Hundley at homer.
Game 135, Saturday, 30 August, Colorado at San Diego: Pads win 9-4 (we were there). Geer won (1-0) his major league debut. No Pads homers.
Game 136, Sunday, 31 August, Colorado at San Diego: Pads win 2-1. Peavy started, Hoffman blew save and won (2-6). No Pads homers. Rodriguez singled home winning run in 9th.
Game 137, Monday, 1 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers won 5-2. Young lost (4-5), no Pads homers.
Game 138 - Tuesday, 2 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 8-4. Baek lost (4-9). no Pads homers.
Game 139 - Wednesday, 3 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 6-4. LeBlanc lost (0-1) his major league debut. Kouzmanoff (20) had homer.
Game 140, Thursday, 4 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Pads win 5-2. Estes won (3-1). Venable (1) homered.
After 140 games, the Pads are 54-86 overall, 32-39 at home, 22-47 on the road, Runs 542-659, Homers 132-142. They've won 6 of the last 10, and were are 11-16 in August, and are 1-3 in September. The team BA is 0.248, opposition BA is 0.261, team ERA is 4.37, opposition ERA is 3.49.
Padres 2008 - Games 121-130
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
Games 121 to 130 Summaries:
Game 121, Thursday, 14 August, Milwaukee at San Diego. Pads win 3-2. Peavy wins, now 9-8; Hoffman save #26. no Pads homers.
Game 122, Friday, 15 August, Philadelphia at San Diego. Phils win 1-0. Maddux loses, now 6-9.
Game 123, Saturday, 16 August, Philadelphia at San Diego: Pads win 8-3. Reineke wins, now 1-0. No Pads homers.
Game 124, Sunday, 17 August, Philadelphia at San Diego: Phils win 2-1. Baek loses, now 4-7. No Pads homers.
Game 125, Tuesday, August 19, San Diego at Arizona: Snakes win 7-6. Banks loses, now 3-6. No Pads homers.
Game 126, Wednesday, August 20, San Diego at Arizona: Snakes win 8-6. Peavy loses, now 9-9. Gerut and Kouxmanoff have Pads homers.
Game 127, Thursday, August 21, San Diego at Arizona: Snakes win 4-1. Reineke loses, now 1-1. No Pads homers.
Game 128, Friday, August 22, San Diego at San Francisco: Giants win 5-0. Baek loses, now 4-8. No Pads homers.
Game 129, Saturday, August 23, San Diego at San Francisco: Giants win 4-3. Hayhurst starts, Adams loses, now 1-2. No Pads homers.
Game 130, Sunday, August 24, San Diego at San Francisco: Giants win 7-4. Banks started, Adams lost, now 1-3. Giles homered for Pads.
After 130 games, the Pads are 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131. They've lost 7 in a row, won 2 of the last 10, and are 6-15 in August. The team BA is 0.246, opposition BA is 0.263, team ERA is 4.37, opposition ERA is 3.39.
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
Games 121 to 130 Summaries:
Game 121, Thursday, 14 August, Milwaukee at San Diego. Pads win 3-2. Peavy wins, now 9-8; Hoffman save #26. no Pads homers.
Game 122, Friday, 15 August, Philadelphia at San Diego. Phils win 1-0. Maddux loses, now 6-9.
Game 123, Saturday, 16 August, Philadelphia at San Diego: Pads win 8-3. Reineke wins, now 1-0. No Pads homers.
Game 124, Sunday, 17 August, Philadelphia at San Diego: Phils win 2-1. Baek loses, now 4-7. No Pads homers.
Game 125, Tuesday, August 19, San Diego at Arizona: Snakes win 7-6. Banks loses, now 3-6. No Pads homers.
Game 126, Wednesday, August 20, San Diego at Arizona: Snakes win 8-6. Peavy loses, now 9-9. Gerut and Kouxmanoff have Pads homers.
Game 127, Thursday, August 21, San Diego at Arizona: Snakes win 4-1. Reineke loses, now 1-1. No Pads homers.
Game 128, Friday, August 22, San Diego at San Francisco: Giants win 5-0. Baek loses, now 4-8. No Pads homers.
Game 129, Saturday, August 23, San Diego at San Francisco: Giants win 4-3. Hayhurst starts, Adams loses, now 1-2. No Pads homers.
Game 130, Sunday, August 24, San Diego at San Francisco: Giants win 7-4. Banks started, Adams lost, now 1-3. Giles homered for Pads.
After 130 games, the Pads are 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131. They've lost 7 in a row, won 2 of the last 10, and are 6-15 in August. The team BA is 0.246, opposition BA is 0.263, team ERA is 4.37, opposition ERA is 3.39.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Kids say the funniest things
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her.
'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age like the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop?
'Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report.
'My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?'
'Yes, that's right,' I told her.
'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age like the canes, walkers, and wheelchairs unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!
Got Medicare?
"Mrs.Sanders, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
"Speaking."
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."
Curtains!
A Blonde goes to a shop to buy curtains. She said to the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.'
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.He shows her several patterns. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'
'Seventeen inches ?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small, what room are they for?'
The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'
The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains !'
The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo .. mine's got Windoooooows.......'
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.He shows her several patterns. Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs. The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'
'Seventeen inches ?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small, what room are they for?'
The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'
The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains !'
The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo .. mine's got Windoooooows.......'
Aphorisms
APHORISM: A short, pointed sentence expressing a wise or clever observation or a general truth, maxim, precept or adage.
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins. The old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like it could be a right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where "happy hour" is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!
18. Money can't buy happiness - but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
20. Always be yourself...because the people that matter, don't mind.. and the ones that mind, don't matter
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins. The old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like it could be a right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where "happy hour" is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!
18. Money can't buy happiness - but somehow, it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!
20. Always be yourself...because the people that matter, don't mind.. and the ones that mind, don't matter
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Lone Ranger is captured by Indians...
The Lone Ranger is captured by Indians...
The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.'
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. 'You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?'
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and once again he whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and also spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. He tells the Lone Ranger, 'You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. 'So what is your last request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.... alone.'The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says: 'Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse. For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE'.
The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.'
The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. 'You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?'
The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and once again he whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and also spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. He tells the Lone Ranger, 'You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. 'So what is your last request?'
The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.... alone.'The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says: 'Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse. For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE'.
Don't mess with old guys
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'
In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'
All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.
He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'
Experience Counts
The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.
Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota.
There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.
Soon, Barack Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.
That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, "Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating."
The next night (after John Mc. returns with 50 fish), Harry Reid said to Obama, "Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?"
Obama replied, "Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice."
Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner. After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota.
There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties. At the end of the first day, John McCain returned to the starting line and he had ten fish.
Soon, Barack Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another 'bad hair' day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day John Mc. came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none.
That evening, Harry Reid got together secretly with Obama and said, "Obama, I think John Mc. is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating."
The next night (after John Mc. returns with 50 fish), Harry Reid said to Obama, "Well, tell me, how is John Mc. cheating?"
Obama replied, "Harry, you're not going to believe this, but he's cutting holes in the ice."
If Abbott and Costello wanted a computer
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: "Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?"
COSTELLO: "Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer."
ABBOTT: "Mac?"
COSTELLO: "No, the name's Lou."
ABBOTT: "Your computer?"
COSTELLO: "I don't own a computer. I want to buy one."
ABBOTT: "Mac?"
COSTELLO: "I told you, my name's Lou."
ABBOTT: "What about Windows?"
COSTELLO: "Why? Will it get stuffy in here?"
ABBOTT: "Do you want a computer with Windows?"
COSTELLO: "I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?"
ABBOTT: "Wallpaper."
COSTELLO: "Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software."
ABBOTT: "Software for Windows?"
COSTELLO: "No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?"
ABBOTT: "Office."
COSTELLO: "Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?"
ABBOTT: "I just did."
COSTELLO: "You just did what?"
ABBOTT: "Recommend something."
COSTELLO: "You recommended something?"
ABBOTT: "Yes."
COSTELLO: "For my office?"
ABBOTT: "Yes."
COSTELLO: "OK, what did you recommend for my office?"
ABBOTT: "Office."
COSTELLO: "Yes, for my office!"
ABBOTT: "I recommend Office with Windows."
COSTELLO: "I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?"
ABBOTT: "Word."
COSTELLO: "What word?"
ABBOTT: "Word in Office."
COSTELLO: "The only word in office is office."
ABBOTT: "The Word in Office for Windows."
COSTELLO: "Which word in office for windows?"
ABBOTT: "The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'."
COSTELLO: "I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?"
ABBOTT: "Money."
COSTELLO: "That's right. What do you have?"
ABBOTT: "Money."
COSTELLO: "I need money to track my money?"
ABBOTT: "It comes bundled with your computer."
COSTELLO: "What's bundled with my computer?"
ABBOTT: "Money."
COSTELLO: "Money comes with my computer?"
ABBOTT: "Yes. No extra charge."
COSTELLO: "I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?"
ABBOTT: "One copy."
COSTELLO: "Isn't it illegal to copy money?"
ABBOTT: "Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money."
COSTELLO: "They can give you a license to copy money?"
ABBOTT: "Why not? THEY OWN IT!"(A few days later)
ABBOTT: "Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?"
COSTELLO: "How do I turn my computer off?"
ABBOTT: "Click on 'START'"...
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: "Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?"
COSTELLO: "Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer."
ABBOTT: "Mac?"
COSTELLO: "No, the name's Lou."
ABBOTT: "Your computer?"
COSTELLO: "I don't own a computer. I want to buy one."
ABBOTT: "Mac?"
COSTELLO: "I told you, my name's Lou."
ABBOTT: "What about Windows?"
COSTELLO: "Why? Will it get stuffy in here?"
ABBOTT: "Do you want a computer with Windows?"
COSTELLO: "I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?"
ABBOTT: "Wallpaper."
COSTELLO: "Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software."
ABBOTT: "Software for Windows?"
COSTELLO: "No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?"
ABBOTT: "Office."
COSTELLO: "Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?"
ABBOTT: "I just did."
COSTELLO: "You just did what?"
ABBOTT: "Recommend something."
COSTELLO: "You recommended something?"
ABBOTT: "Yes."
COSTELLO: "For my office?"
ABBOTT: "Yes."
COSTELLO: "OK, what did you recommend for my office?"
ABBOTT: "Office."
COSTELLO: "Yes, for my office!"
ABBOTT: "I recommend Office with Windows."
COSTELLO: "I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?"
ABBOTT: "Word."
COSTELLO: "What word?"
ABBOTT: "Word in Office."
COSTELLO: "The only word in office is office."
ABBOTT: "The Word in Office for Windows."
COSTELLO: "Which word in office for windows?"
ABBOTT: "The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'."
COSTELLO: "I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?"
ABBOTT: "Money."
COSTELLO: "That's right. What do you have?"
ABBOTT: "Money."
COSTELLO: "I need money to track my money?"
ABBOTT: "It comes bundled with your computer."
COSTELLO: "What's bundled with my computer?"
ABBOTT: "Money."
COSTELLO: "Money comes with my computer?"
ABBOTT: "Yes. No extra charge."
COSTELLO: "I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?"
ABBOTT: "One copy."
COSTELLO: "Isn't it illegal to copy money?"
ABBOTT: "Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money."
COSTELLO: "They can give you a license to copy money?"
ABBOTT: "Why not? THEY OWN IT!"(A few days later)
ABBOTT: "Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?"
COSTELLO: "How do I turn my computer off?"
ABBOTT: "Click on 'START'"...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Philosophies of Famous People
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ~~"Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Bill y Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
-- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
-- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
-- Groucho Marx
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
-- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
-- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you
-- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
-- Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
-- Lillian Carter (mother of Bill y Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
-- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
-- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
-- Groucho Marx
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
-- Bob Hope
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
-- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
-- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation as you grow older, it will avoid you
-- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
-- Billy Crystal
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Padres 2008 - Games 111 to 120
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
Games 111 to 120 Summaries:
Game 111, Saturday, August 2, San Francisco at San Diego. Giants win 2-0, on a gem pitched by Barry Zito. Jake Peavy pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 0 BB, 7 SO), but lost. The Padres had no highlights besides Peavy. After 111 games, the Pads are 42-69 overall, 24-34 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-529, Homers 106-114. They've lost 4 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 0-2 in August.
Game 112, Sunday, August 3, San Francisco at San Diego. Pads win 4-1, as Greg Maddux pitched well (6 IP, 1 R, 2 H, 0 BB, 1 SO, won, now 5-8). The Pads only had 6 hits, but scored single runs in the 2nd, 6th, 7th and 8th. Kouzmanoff hit his 15 homer in the 8th. After 112 games, the Pads are 43-69 overall, 25-34 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 420-530, Homers 107-114. They've won 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 1-2 in August.
Game 113, Tuesday, August 5, San Diego at New York Mets. Mets win 6-5 in a tight finish. The Pads led 1-0 in the 4th and 2-1 in the 6th, but the Mets scored 3 in the 6th off Chris Young (5.1 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 5 BB, 5 SO) and Mike Adams, then runs in the 7th and 8th to make it 6-2. The 6th run scored on a throwing error by CF Jody Gerut. Gerut hit a 3-run homer in the 9th to make it close. A winnable game. After 113 games, the Pads are 43-70 overall, 25-34 at home, 18-36 on the road, Runs 425-536, Homers 110-116. They've lost 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 1-3 in August.
Game 114, Wednesday, August 6, San Diego at New York Mets. Pads win 4-2, as Cha Seung Baek pitches well (6.1 IP, 2 R, 8 H, 1 BB, 5 SO, won, now 4-5) and Adams, Bell and Hoffman (save #24) finished it off. The Pads got 2 in the first on solo shots by Gerut and Giles, and broke a 2-2 tie in the 7th on an error, and Headley hit a solo homer in the 8th. After 114 games, the Pads are 44-70 overall, 25-34 at home, 19-36 on the road, Runs 429-538, Homers 113-116. They've won 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 2-3 in August.
Game 115, Thursday, August 7, San Diego at New York Mets. Mets win 5-2. Josh Banks pitched only fair (5 IP, 3 R, 9 H, 1 BB, 4 SO) but didn't lose the game as the Pads tied it in the 9th on a Jody Gerut solo homer. Heath Bell (lost, now 6-5) gave up a 2-run walkoff homer to David Wright in the bottom of the 9th. After 115 games, the Pads are 44-71 overall, 25-34 at home, 19-37 on the road, Runs 432-543, Homers 115-117. They've lost 1 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 2-4 in August.
Josh Bard hurt his triceps in batting practice, so Luke Carlin was called up again to help catch.
Game 116, Friday, August 8, San Diego at Colorado. Rocks win 6-3 as the bullpen blows another game. Jake Peavy went 6 IP (3 R, 5 H, 5 BB, 3 SO, lost now 8-8, a poor outing), but Meredith and Ledezma gave up 3 runs in the 7th to put it out of reach. A winnable game. After 116 games, the Pads are 44-72 overall, 25-34 at home, 19-38 on the road, Runs 435-549, Homers 116-118. They've lost 2 in a row, won 3 of the last 10, and are 2-5 in August.
Game 117, Saturday, August 9, San Diego at Colorado. Pads win 8-3. Greg Maddux pitched well again (6 IP, 2 R, 6 H, 1 BB, 4 SO) and the bullpen held precariously (at times), with Hoffman getting Save #25 after coming into a bases-loaded none out situation in the 9th. The Pads scored 5 in the 6th on 6 hits, and then Adrian Gonzalez hit a 2-run homer in the 9th for insurance runs. After 117 games, the Pads are 45-72 overall, 25-34 at home, 20-38 on the road, Runs 443-552, Homers 117-119. They've won 1 in a row, won 3 of the last 10, and are 3-5 in August.
Game 118, Sunday, August 10, San Diego at Colorado. Pads roll 16-7, but it wasn't that easy. The Pads got off to an 11-0 lead after 3 innings, but the Rocks scored 7 in the 4th off Chris Young. The Pads got 3 in the 6th on a Luke Carlin homer, and single runs in the 7th and 9th. Justin Hampson (won, now 1-1) and Will Ledezma pitched shutout ball over the last 5 innings. After 118 games, the Pads are 46-72 overall, 25-34 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 459-559, Homers 121-120. They've won 2 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 4-5 in August.
Game 119, Tuesday, August 12, Milwaukee at San Diego. Brewers win 5-2. Baek pitched poorly again at home (6 IP, 5 R, 7 H, 4 BB, 3 SO, lost, 4-6) and Jeff Suppan pitched well (8 IP, 2 R, 4 H, 2 BB, 3 SO). Gerut and Kouzmanoff hit solo homers for the Pads only runs. After 119 games, the Pads are 46-73 overall, 25-35 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 461-564, Homers 123-122. They've lost 1 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 4-6 in August.
Game 120, Wednesday, August 13, Milwaukee at San Diego. Brewers win 7-1. Josh Banks pitched poorly again (4.1 IP, 7 R, 5 H, 6 BB, 1 SO, lost, now 5-5) and CC Sabathia pitched well. The Pads got 9 hits but left 12 runners on base. After 120 games, the Pads are 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123. They've lost 2 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 4-7 in August.
In these 10 games, the Pads were 4-6, 1-3 at home, 3-3 on the road, Runs 46-44, Homers 17-9.
Hitting statistics (Avg, H-AB, HR-RBI, BB-SO) through 120 games:
Jody Gerut -- 0.289, 81-280, 12-33, 27-44
Edgar Gonzalez - 0.284, 67-236, 5-21, 18-55
Brian Giles - 0.295, 122-413, 8-42, 62-45
Adrian Gonzalez - 0.279, 129-463, 28-89, 49-99
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 0.278, 127-457, 18-61, 16-98
Chase Headley - 0.261, 46-176, 8-20, 15-50
Kahlil Greene - 0.213, 83-389, 10-35, 22-100
Scott Hairston - 0.258, 79-306, 17-31, 24-79
Josh Bard - 0.209, 31-148, 1-12, 15-19
Nick Hundley - 0.215, 17-79, 2-11, 3-25
Tadahito Iguchi - 0.240, 63-262, 2-21, 25-59
TEAM HITTING: 0.247, 1023-4109, 123-445, 379-930
OPPO HITTING: 0.265, 1103-4164, 123-546, 386-821
Pitching Statistics (W-L, ERA, G-IP, H-ER, BB-SO) through 120 games:
Jake Peavy -- 8-8, 2.67, 20-127.2, 108-38, 38-125
Chris Young -- 4-4, 4.74, 13-68.1, 62-36, 40-66
Greg Maddux -- 6-8, 4.12, 25-146.1, 156-67, 26-76
Josh Banks -- 3-5, 4.37, 15-78.1, 85-38, 24-39
Cha Seung Baek -- 4-6, 5.12, 14-70.1, 82-40, 17-51
Brian Corey -- 1-3, 6.23, 39-39.0, 42-27, 9-18
Mike Adams - 1-1, 2.20, 33-41.0, 31-10, 14-46
Clay Hensley - 1-2, 4.42, 12-18.1, 16-9, 7-13
Heath Bell - 6-5, 3.25, 57-61.0, 51-22, 20-55
Cla Meredith -- 0-3, 3.99, 60-56.1, 64-25, 22-39
Trevor Hoffman -- 1-6, 4.21, 39-36.1, 34-17, 7-40 (25 saves)
TEAM PITCHING: 46-74, 4.37, 120-1087.0, 1103-528, 386-821
OPPO PITCHING: 74-46, 3.29, 120-1085.1, 1023-3397, 379-930.
We're at the 3/4 point of the season. The Pads have to go 17-25 (0.405) to avoid a 100-loss season. Projecting out to 162 games, Adrian Gonzalez is on pace for a 38 HR, 120 RBI season, Scott Hairston is on pace for a 23 HR season, and Kevin Kouzmanoff is on pace for a 24 HR and 82 RBI season. Jake Peavy is on pace for a 11-11 season, and Trevor Hoffman is on pace for a 34 save season.
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
Games 111 to 120 Summaries:
Game 111, Saturday, August 2, San Francisco at San Diego. Giants win 2-0, on a gem pitched by Barry Zito. Jake Peavy pitched well (7 IP, 1 R, 5 H, 0 BB, 7 SO), but lost. The Padres had no highlights besides Peavy. After 111 games, the Pads are 42-69 overall, 24-34 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-529, Homers 106-114. They've lost 4 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 0-2 in August.
Game 112, Sunday, August 3, San Francisco at San Diego. Pads win 4-1, as Greg Maddux pitched well (6 IP, 1 R, 2 H, 0 BB, 1 SO, won, now 5-8). The Pads only had 6 hits, but scored single runs in the 2nd, 6th, 7th and 8th. Kouzmanoff hit his 15 homer in the 8th. After 112 games, the Pads are 43-69 overall, 25-34 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 420-530, Homers 107-114. They've won 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 1-2 in August.
Game 113, Tuesday, August 5, San Diego at New York Mets. Mets win 6-5 in a tight finish. The Pads led 1-0 in the 4th and 2-1 in the 6th, but the Mets scored 3 in the 6th off Chris Young (5.1 IP, 2 H, 1 R, 5 BB, 5 SO) and Mike Adams, then runs in the 7th and 8th to make it 6-2. The 6th run scored on a throwing error by CF Jody Gerut. Gerut hit a 3-run homer in the 9th to make it close. A winnable game. After 113 games, the Pads are 43-70 overall, 25-34 at home, 18-36 on the road, Runs 425-536, Homers 110-116. They've lost 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 1-3 in August.
Game 114, Wednesday, August 6, San Diego at New York Mets. Pads win 4-2, as Cha Seung Baek pitches well (6.1 IP, 2 R, 8 H, 1 BB, 5 SO, won, now 4-5) and Adams, Bell and Hoffman (save #24) finished it off. The Pads got 2 in the first on solo shots by Gerut and Giles, and broke a 2-2 tie in the 7th on an error, and Headley hit a solo homer in the 8th. After 114 games, the Pads are 44-70 overall, 25-34 at home, 19-36 on the road, Runs 429-538, Homers 113-116. They've won 1 in a row, won 5 of the last 10, and are 2-3 in August.
Game 115, Thursday, August 7, San Diego at New York Mets. Mets win 5-2. Josh Banks pitched only fair (5 IP, 3 R, 9 H, 1 BB, 4 SO) but didn't lose the game as the Pads tied it in the 9th on a Jody Gerut solo homer. Heath Bell (lost, now 6-5) gave up a 2-run walkoff homer to David Wright in the bottom of the 9th. After 115 games, the Pads are 44-71 overall, 25-34 at home, 19-37 on the road, Runs 432-543, Homers 115-117. They've lost 1 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 2-4 in August.
Josh Bard hurt his triceps in batting practice, so Luke Carlin was called up again to help catch.
Game 116, Friday, August 8, San Diego at Colorado. Rocks win 6-3 as the bullpen blows another game. Jake Peavy went 6 IP (3 R, 5 H, 5 BB, 3 SO, lost now 8-8, a poor outing), but Meredith and Ledezma gave up 3 runs in the 7th to put it out of reach. A winnable game. After 116 games, the Pads are 44-72 overall, 25-34 at home, 19-38 on the road, Runs 435-549, Homers 116-118. They've lost 2 in a row, won 3 of the last 10, and are 2-5 in August.
Game 117, Saturday, August 9, San Diego at Colorado. Pads win 8-3. Greg Maddux pitched well again (6 IP, 2 R, 6 H, 1 BB, 4 SO) and the bullpen held precariously (at times), with Hoffman getting Save #25 after coming into a bases-loaded none out situation in the 9th. The Pads scored 5 in the 6th on 6 hits, and then Adrian Gonzalez hit a 2-run homer in the 9th for insurance runs. After 117 games, the Pads are 45-72 overall, 25-34 at home, 20-38 on the road, Runs 443-552, Homers 117-119. They've won 1 in a row, won 3 of the last 10, and are 3-5 in August.
Game 118, Sunday, August 10, San Diego at Colorado. Pads roll 16-7, but it wasn't that easy. The Pads got off to an 11-0 lead after 3 innings, but the Rocks scored 7 in the 4th off Chris Young. The Pads got 3 in the 6th on a Luke Carlin homer, and single runs in the 7th and 9th. Justin Hampson (won, now 1-1) and Will Ledezma pitched shutout ball over the last 5 innings. After 118 games, the Pads are 46-72 overall, 25-34 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 459-559, Homers 121-120. They've won 2 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 4-5 in August.
Game 119, Tuesday, August 12, Milwaukee at San Diego. Brewers win 5-2. Baek pitched poorly again at home (6 IP, 5 R, 7 H, 4 BB, 3 SO, lost, 4-6) and Jeff Suppan pitched well (8 IP, 2 R, 4 H, 2 BB, 3 SO). Gerut and Kouzmanoff hit solo homers for the Pads only runs. After 119 games, the Pads are 46-73 overall, 25-35 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 461-564, Homers 123-122. They've lost 1 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 4-6 in August.
Game 120, Wednesday, August 13, Milwaukee at San Diego. Brewers win 7-1. Josh Banks pitched poorly again (4.1 IP, 7 R, 5 H, 6 BB, 1 SO, lost, now 5-5) and CC Sabathia pitched well. The Pads got 9 hits but left 12 runners on base. After 120 games, the Pads are 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123. They've lost 2 in a row, won 4 of the last 10, and are 4-7 in August.
In these 10 games, the Pads were 4-6, 1-3 at home, 3-3 on the road, Runs 46-44, Homers 17-9.
Hitting statistics (Avg, H-AB, HR-RBI, BB-SO) through 120 games:
Jody Gerut -- 0.289, 81-280, 12-33, 27-44
Edgar Gonzalez - 0.284, 67-236, 5-21, 18-55
Brian Giles - 0.295, 122-413, 8-42, 62-45
Adrian Gonzalez - 0.279, 129-463, 28-89, 49-99
Kevin Kouzmanoff - 0.278, 127-457, 18-61, 16-98
Chase Headley - 0.261, 46-176, 8-20, 15-50
Kahlil Greene - 0.213, 83-389, 10-35, 22-100
Scott Hairston - 0.258, 79-306, 17-31, 24-79
Josh Bard - 0.209, 31-148, 1-12, 15-19
Nick Hundley - 0.215, 17-79, 2-11, 3-25
Tadahito Iguchi - 0.240, 63-262, 2-21, 25-59
TEAM HITTING: 0.247, 1023-4109, 123-445, 379-930
OPPO HITTING: 0.265, 1103-4164, 123-546, 386-821
Pitching Statistics (W-L, ERA, G-IP, H-ER, BB-SO) through 120 games:
Jake Peavy -- 8-8, 2.67, 20-127.2, 108-38, 38-125
Chris Young -- 4-4, 4.74, 13-68.1, 62-36, 40-66
Greg Maddux -- 6-8, 4.12, 25-146.1, 156-67, 26-76
Josh Banks -- 3-5, 4.37, 15-78.1, 85-38, 24-39
Cha Seung Baek -- 4-6, 5.12, 14-70.1, 82-40, 17-51
Brian Corey -- 1-3, 6.23, 39-39.0, 42-27, 9-18
Mike Adams - 1-1, 2.20, 33-41.0, 31-10, 14-46
Clay Hensley - 1-2, 4.42, 12-18.1, 16-9, 7-13
Heath Bell - 6-5, 3.25, 57-61.0, 51-22, 20-55
Cla Meredith -- 0-3, 3.99, 60-56.1, 64-25, 22-39
Trevor Hoffman -- 1-6, 4.21, 39-36.1, 34-17, 7-40 (25 saves)
TEAM PITCHING: 46-74, 4.37, 120-1087.0, 1103-528, 386-821
OPPO PITCHING: 74-46, 3.29, 120-1085.1, 1023-3397, 379-930.
We're at the 3/4 point of the season. The Pads have to go 17-25 (0.405) to avoid a 100-loss season. Projecting out to 162 games, Adrian Gonzalez is on pace for a 38 HR, 120 RBI season, Scott Hairston is on pace for a 23 HR season, and Kevin Kouzmanoff is on pace for a 24 HR and 82 RBI season. Jake Peavy is on pace for a 11-11 season, and Trevor Hoffman is on pace for a 34 save season.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Isn't retirement great?
One day, while going to the store, I passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time my curiosity got the best of me, so I went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.
'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?' I asked,
'Yes,' she said, 'They're retired prostitutes, - they're having a yard sale.'
THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son "Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
---------------------------------
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft..Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't Find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you Find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,--- let's look for yours."
'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?' I asked,
'Yes,' she said, 'They're retired prostitutes, - they're having a yard sale.'
THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son "Yes, Dad, what is it? "
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
---------------------------------
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
---------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft..Today, it's called golf.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't Find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you Find her. What does she look like?"
The second old guy says: "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,--- let's look for yours."
Letter to Hillary
From my email...
July 16, 2008
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
United States Senate
476 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Dear Mrs. Clinton:
I recently read where you have incurred substantial debt with your unsuccessful campaign for the Democratic Presidential nomination. Your plight concerns me and I would like to help as much as I can. I would certainly hate for you to feel pressured, due to the size of your debt, to support a candidate that you do not truly believe is ready to be 'Commander in Chief on Day One.'
I have always believed that our form of government, while less than perfect, is the best the world has to offer. I've also always believed that Congress with 535 elected members has more power to do good for this country than only one person or even nine people. Congress has the power and ability to guide and direct this country like no other group.
I vividly remember in 2006 how the Democrats gained control of both houses of Congress trumpeting 'Change' and a better America. Let's review how that has worked out for us.
* Mortgage companies have declared bankruptcy costing thousands of people their jobs
* Home values have nose-dived
* Millions of Americans have lost their homes
* World oil prices have risen astronomically
* The Democrats continue to block drilling in oil rich reserves to continue and even increase our dependence on foreign oil
* Gasoline prices have increased to over $4 a gallon and there appears to be no end in sight even though Americans have reduced their driving over one billion miles a month.
* The stock market, where most Americans' retirement hopes are invested, has dropped by more than 15%.
* Food prices are increasing at an alarming rate fueled mostly by rising energy costs
All in all I'd have to say that the Democrats fulfilled their promise and have brought change to our country. It isn't good change, but it is change.
Nevertheless, and because of all this change, change is all I have to give you to help you retire your debt.
I am enclosing one penny for you to add to your campaign 'war chest.' I think that's a fair trade. Everything you've done for me is worth about a penny and because of the success of the Democrats, that's all I have. Just so you know that you really aren't alone in this, I had to borrow the penny from a friend.
I do have one simple request in return. I would really appreciate it if you could teach me how I can get the American people to pay off my debts that I knowingly and willingly incurred. Isn't this a great country?Good luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,An American citizen, patriot, veteran, taxpayer and voter
Col C Baxter Alexander
USAF ret
July 16, 2008
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
United States Senate
476 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
Dear Mrs. Clinton:
I recently read where you have incurred substantial debt with your unsuccessful campaign for the Democratic Presidential nomination. Your plight concerns me and I would like to help as much as I can. I would certainly hate for you to feel pressured, due to the size of your debt, to support a candidate that you do not truly believe is ready to be 'Commander in Chief on Day One.'
I have always believed that our form of government, while less than perfect, is the best the world has to offer. I've also always believed that Congress with 535 elected members has more power to do good for this country than only one person or even nine people. Congress has the power and ability to guide and direct this country like no other group.
I vividly remember in 2006 how the Democrats gained control of both houses of Congress trumpeting 'Change' and a better America. Let's review how that has worked out for us.
* Mortgage companies have declared bankruptcy costing thousands of people their jobs
* Home values have nose-dived
* Millions of Americans have lost their homes
* World oil prices have risen astronomically
* The Democrats continue to block drilling in oil rich reserves to continue and even increase our dependence on foreign oil
* Gasoline prices have increased to over $4 a gallon and there appears to be no end in sight even though Americans have reduced their driving over one billion miles a month.
* The stock market, where most Americans' retirement hopes are invested, has dropped by more than 15%.
* Food prices are increasing at an alarming rate fueled mostly by rising energy costs
All in all I'd have to say that the Democrats fulfilled their promise and have brought change to our country. It isn't good change, but it is change.
Nevertheless, and because of all this change, change is all I have to give you to help you retire your debt.
I am enclosing one penny for you to add to your campaign 'war chest.' I think that's a fair trade. Everything you've done for me is worth about a penny and because of the success of the Democrats, that's all I have. Just so you know that you really aren't alone in this, I had to borrow the penny from a friend.
I do have one simple request in return. I would really appreciate it if you could teach me how I can get the American people to pay off my debts that I knowingly and willingly incurred. Isn't this a great country?Good luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,An American citizen, patriot, veteran, taxpayer and voter
Col C Baxter Alexander
USAF ret
New Words for 2008
1. BLAMESTORMING:
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. (applicable to faculty)
2. SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4.SALMON DAY:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM :
An office filled with cubicles.
6.PRAIRIE DOGGING :
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO :
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE :
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 :
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message '404 Not Found,' meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA :
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND :
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).
18.WOOFS:
Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING:
Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. (applicable to faculty)
2. SEAGULL MANAGER:
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS:
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4.SALMON DAY:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
5. CUBE FARM :
An office filled with cubicles.
6.PRAIRIE DOGGING :
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
7. MOUSE POTATO :
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
8. SITCOMs:
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
9. STRESS PUPPY:
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
10. SWIPEOUT:
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
11. XEROX SUBSIDY:
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
12. IRRITAINMENT:
Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
13. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE:
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
14. ADMINISPHERE :
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
15. 404 :
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message '404 Not Found,' meaning that the requested site could not be located.
16. GENERICA :
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
17. OHNOSECOND :
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an email by mistake).
18.WOOFS:
Well-Off Older Folks.
19. CROP DUSTING:
Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
Political correct?
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' (Loved this one!)
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!)
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a'BREASTED AMERICAN.'
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' (Loved this one!)
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is ' OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!)
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE.'
Laws of Ultimate Reality
Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you k now increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law o f the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until your coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open- faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you ge t there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you k now increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law o f the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until your coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open- faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you ge t there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
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