Little Johnny Knows How to Sell!

From my email, thanks Helen:

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship.

Little Sally led off. "I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30" she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Debbie was next. "I sold magazines," she said. "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Debbie," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher. "What in the world were you selling?"

Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher. "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a Dip & Chip stand and I gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, 'Hey, this tastes like dog poop!' Then I would say, 'It is dog poop. Wanna buy a toothbrush?' I used the President Obama method of giving you some crap, dressing it up so it looks good, telling you it's free and then making you pay to get the bad taste out of your mouth."

Little Johnny got five stars for his assignment.

Bless his heart.

Lexiphile

Lexiphile is a word used to describe those who have a love for words, such as:
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three year old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

A bicycle can’t stand alone, it’s two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture - a jab well done.