Bud The Montana Cowboy

 A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana   when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

 Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" 

 The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on  his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 

 The young man then opens the digital photo  in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.  Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then  accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. 

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the  cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." 

 "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud 

 He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. 

 Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I  can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" 

 The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 

 "You're a Congressman for the  U.S.  Government", says Bud. 

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?" 

 "No  guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a  question I never asked You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about  how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a  herd of sheep”

Calling a PCUSA Pastor Takes Awhile

We are members of the Chula Vista Presbyterian Church in the San Diego, California Presbytery, a PCUSA denominational church.

Our pastor, Rev. Bob Davis, has been called to the Carson city, Nevada Presbyterian Church, and preached his last sermon on Sunday, 10 February.  We had a celebration of his service after the worship service on 10 February.

Many people have asked me "what do we do now?  How do we select another pastor?"

The CVPC website has an article about the process in Announcements, copied below:

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Steps In Transition

 1. Congregational Meeting: the congregation will vote on the motion to concur with the pastor’s request to dissolve the pastoral relationship. (January 27, 2019 at the annual meeting.)

2. Last Sunday preaching: (February 10, 2019).

3. Last day in the office: (February 14, 2019)

4. Temporary pastor (preaching only) that the leaving pastor will have arranged. (February 17 and 24.)

5. Session meets. The Committee on Ministry will assign a moderator for that meeting. The clerk of session should contact the Chair of the Committee on Ministry to make sure this detail is covered. (February 26)

 a. Session will begin discussing the selection of an Interim Pastor Nominating Committee (IPNC), job description and compensation package. This discussion begins after the last Sunday that the leaving pastor is in the pulpit. The COM will have to approve the job description and compensation package before the IPNC begins interviewing potential Interim candidates.

 b. They will also discuss the formation of a Mission Study team.  The completion of a mission study is a mandatory step in the process.

6. Temporary pastors are normally arranged by the leaving pastor for one or two months; after which the Committee on Ministry will assign until an Interim has been selected and a contract established.

7. Session meets. The Committee on Ministry will assign a moderator for that meeting, again, contingent upon an Interim being selected and a contract established. A Mission Study Team should be elected. (March 26)

8. April 7, April 14 (Palm Sunday), April 18 (Maundy Thursday), April 21 (Easter) – The Committee on Ministry will assign temporary pastors from this point until (or unless) an Interim is selected.

9. Going forward:

 a. The Mission Study needs to be completed. This team will work with a liaison from the Committee on Ministry (Chris Lenocker). The liaison will guide them through the process. After the Mission Study is complete, it is submitted to COM for approval.

 b. A Pastor Nominating Team will need to be elected. The slate for the Pastor Nominating Team will be presented by the congregation’s Nominating Committee because it is an action of the congregation (in contrast to the IPNC, which is a function of the session).

 c. The Pastor Nominating Team will translate the Mission Study into the Ministry Information Form (MIF) required for posting on the denomination’s Church Leadership Connection (CLC). The MIF is submitted to COM for approval prior to posting.

 d. Once the MIF is posted, the PNC operates as a search committee. They receive Personal Information Forms (PIF’s) which are the Presbyterian version of resumes or curriculum vitaes.

 e. When the PNC has narrowed the candidates down to a few, they will contact COM for preliminary vetting. The PNC is likely to view candidates in a neutral pulpit. 

 f. When a candidate is identified, a call is extended including job description and terms. When the candidate accepts, COM will have representatives meet with the individual to “credential” them. That will take place prior to the individual preaching a candidate sermon. (The “credentialing” is waived if the candidate is already a member in good standing of San Diego Presbytery.)

 g. The candidate is presented to the congregation. The candidate preaches a sermon for the congregation. A congregational meeting follows to vote on the candidate and the terms of call.

 h. Upon approval of the congregation, the candidate is presented to the presbytery for examination. (This takes place regardless of whether the candidate is a member in good standing of San Diego Presbytery).

 i. The final step of the process is the installation service for the called pastor. The installation is an act of San Diego Presbytery. An administrative commission is formed by recommendation of the called pastor, presented to Presbytery for approval by the Committee on Ministry.   

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So how long will this take?  

I was the chair of the Pastor Nominating Committee that called Associate Pastor Jim Rauch to CVPC in 1987.  That took at least two years.

I was a member of the Pastor Nominating Committee that called Senior Pastor Paul Fisher to CVPC in 1998 (?).  That took at least two years.

Two to three years seems to be the norm for this process.  The Mission Study takes awhile (6 to 12 months), the PNC process takes another year or two.  

New Global Warming Standard Unit - the CFU

Another Way to Calculate Pi

A fascinating video:

Ten Years Ago I Was a Regular Person ...

I WAS A REGULAR PERSON

 I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist & responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal & moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist because I plan and support myself.

I went to HS, worked through college, got a degree and have held a job, & am here not because I earned it but because I was advantaged.

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and ally of big business.

I am not a Muslim, which labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which makes me a member of the vast NRA gun lobby.

I am older than 65 and retired, making me a useless old man who doesn't understand Facebook.

I think and I reason, so I doubt what the main stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.

I value my safety & that of my family, and I appreciate the police and the legal system, making me a right-wing, cop loving extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort - not freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defense and protection of America for and by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for, and the many who died to let it fly so I stand and salute during our National Anthem, taking me back where I started - I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not sure who  I am anymore!

I thank my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new-found changes to my thinking!

I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly!

Funny - it all took place over the last 9 or 10 years!

If all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with, now I don't even know which restroom to use, and I gotta go...........FREQUENTLY !!!!!!!!

On top of that  now I find out it is immoral  to be rich and someone in authority  needs to determine just how much you  should have.