Your Economic Stimulus Payment is Coming Soon

 Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

  

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?  

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

  

Q.Where will the government get this money ?  

A. From taxpayers.  

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?  

A. Only a smidgen of it.

  

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? 

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

  

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?  

A. Shut up.  

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

  

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will  go to China or Sri Lanka .

  

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or  China ...

  

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ...

  

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

  

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

  

 * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

 Instead, keep the money in America by:

  

1) Spending it at yard sales, or  

2) Going to ball games, or  

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or  

4) Beer or  

5) Tattoos.

  

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. ) 

  

Conclusion:    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !

  
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

The Clown in the White House

Let's review the Trump presidency:

The clown in the White House just brokered three Middle East Peace Accords, something that 71 years of political intervention and endless war failed to produce.

The buffoon in the White House is the first president that has not engaged us in a foreign war since Eisenhower.

The clown in the White House has had the greatest impact on the economy, bringing jobs, and lowering unemployment to the Black and Latino population of ANY other president. Ever.

The buffoon in the White House has exposed the deep, widespread, and long-standing corruption in the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, and the Republican and Democratic parties.

The clown in the White House made us energy independent. 

The buffoon in the White House turned NATO around and had them start paying their dues.

The clown in the White House neutralized the North Koreans, stopped them from developing a further nuclear capability, sending missiles toward Japan, and threatening the West Coast of the US.

The clown in the White House turned our relationship with the Chinese around, brought hundreds of businesses back to the US, and revived the economy. Hello!!!!!!!

The clown in the White House has accomplished the appointing of three Supreme Court Justices and close to 300 Federal Judges.

This same clown in the White House lowered your taxes, increased the standard deduction on your IRS return from $12,500 for Married Filing Joint to $24,400 and caused your stock market to move to record levels over 100 times, positively impacting the retirements of tens of millions of citizens.

The clown in the White House fast-tracked the development of a COVID Vaccine - it will be available within weeks - we still don't have a vaccine for SARS, Bird Flu, Ebola, or a host of diseases that arose during previous administrations.

The clown in the White House rebuilt our military which the Obama administration had crippled and had fired 214 key generals and admirals in his first year of office.

This clown in the White House uncovered widespread pedophilia in the government and in Hollywood, and is exposing world wide sex trafficking of minors and bringing children home to their families.

The clown in the White House works for free and has lost well over 2 billion dollars of his own money in serving - and done all of this and much more in the face of relentless undermining and opposition from people who are threatened because they know they are going to be exposed as the criminals if he is re-elected.

I got it, you don't like him. Many of you utterly hate and despise him. How special of you. He is serving you and ALL the American people. What are you doing besides calling him names and laughing about him catching the China virus ?????

And please educate me again as to what Biden has accomplished for America in his 47 years in office? I’ll take a ‘clown’ any day versus a fork tongued, smooth talking hypocritical corrupt liar.

I am not sure I would want to have a beer with him (if he drank, which he doesn't) or even be his friend. I don’t care if I even like him. I want a strong leader who isn’t afraid to kick some ass when needed. 

I don’t need a fatherly figure - I already have one. 

I don’t need a liar - that's what Hollywood and CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, the Washington Post, and the New York Times are for.

The clown in the White House has stood for life, liberty, and law and order.

God bless Donald Trump - the most unappreciated President in history.

Kilroy Was Here!

From my email - thank you, Helen!!!

==================================================

This is for those of us who remember this bit of history -- 



For those of you old enough to remember, this is really interesting

He is engraved in stone in the National War Memorial in Washington, DC, - back in a small alcove where very few people have seen it. For the WWII generation, this will bring back memories. For you younger folks, it's a bit of trivia that is a part of our American history. Anyone born in 1913 to about 1950, is familiar with Kilroy. No one knew why he was so well known - but everybody seemed to get into it.

So... who was Kilroy?



In 1946 the American Transit Association, through its radio program, "Speak to America ," sponsored a nationwide contest to find the real Kilroy, offering a prize of a real trolley car to the person who could prove himself to be the genuine article. Almost 40 men stepped forward to make that claim, but only James Kilroy from Halifax, Massachusetts, had  evidence of his identity.



'Kilroy' was a 46-year old shipyard worker during the war who worked as a checker at the Fore River Shipyard in Quincy. His job was to go around and check on the number of rivets completed. Riveters were on piecework and got paid by the rivet. He would count a block of rivets and put a check mark in semi-waxed lumber chalk, so the rivets wouldn't be counted twice. When Kilroy went off duty, the riveters would erase the mark.

Later  on, an off-shift inspector would come through and count the rivets a second time, resulting in double pay for the riveters.



One day Kilroy's boss called him into his office. The foreman was upset about all the wages being paid to riveters, and asked him to investigate. It was then he realized what had been going on. The tight spaces he had to crawl in to check the rivets didn't lend themselves to lugging around a paint can and brush, so Kilroy decided to stick with the waxy chalk. He continued to put his check mark on each job he inspected, but added 'KILROY WAS HERE' in king-sized letters next to the check, and eventually added the sketch of the chap with the long nose peering over the fence and that became part of the Kilroy message.

Once he did that, the riveters stopped trying to wipe away his marks. Ordinarily the rivets and chalk marks would have been covered up with paint. With the war on, however, ships were leaving the Quincy Yard so fast that there wasn't time to paint them. As a result, Kilroy's inspection "trademark" was seen by thousands of servicemen who boarded the troopships the yard produced.



His message apparently rang a bell with the servicemen, because they picked it up and spread it all over Europe and the South Pacific.



Before war's end, "Kilroy" had been here, there, and everywhere on the long hauls to Berlin and Tokyo. To the troops outbound in those ships, however, he was a complete mystery; all they knew for sure was that someone named Kilroy had "been there first." As a joke, U.S. servicemen began placing the graffiti wherever they landed, claiming it was already there when they arrived.



Kilroy became the U.S. super-GI who had always "already been" wherever GIs went. It became a challenge to place the logo in the most unlikely places imaginable (it is said to be atop Mt. Everest, the Statue of Liberty, the underside of the Arc de Triomphe, and even scrawled in the dust on the moon).



As the war went on, the legend grew. Underwater demolition teams routinely sneaked ashore on
Japanese-held islands in the Pacific to map the terrain for coming invasions by U.S. troops (and thus, presumably, were = the first GIs there). On one occasion, however, they reported seeing enemy troops painting over the Kilroy logo!



In 1945, an outhouse was built for the exclusive use of Roosevelt, Stalin, and Churchill at the Potsdam conference. Its' first occupant was Stalin, who emerged and asked his aide (in Russian), "Who is Kilroy?"



To help prove his authenticity in 1946, James Kilroy brought along officials from the shipyard and some of the riveters. He won the trolley car, which he gave to his nine children as a Christmas gift and set it up as a playhouse in the Kilroy yard in Halifax, Massachusetts .



And The Tradition Continues...



EVEN Outside Osama Bin Laden's House!!!

Everybody's Going Surfing ... Surfing USA!

 

Poor Frank ...

 The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife. 

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for an answered prayer. Suzie stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have some praise. Two months ago, my husband, Frank, had a terrible bicycle accident and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him.” 

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Frank must have experienced.

"Frank was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Frank's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place with metal staples.” 

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Frank."Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Frank is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.” 

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. 

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Frank. " The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."

What's a Calvinist?

 

Is This the Real Story Behind Benghazi Issue?

 From my email:

===============================

FINALLY!

THE REAL REASON BEHIND BENGHAZI & BERGDAHL'S RELEASE!

(BERGDAHL WAS RELEASED IN EXCHANGE FOR 5 TALIBAN GENERALS IN ORDER TO COVER UP THE OBAMA/HILLARY STINGER MISSILE SALES TO LIBYA.)

BENGHAZI AND THE MATCHING SERIAL NUMBERS...

So here's the REAL story:   Ambassador Stevens was sent to Benghazi to secretly retrieve US made Stinger Missiles that the State Dept. had supplied to Ansar al Sharia in Libya WITHOUT Congressional oversight or permission.

Sec. of State Hillary Clinton had brokered the Libya deal through Ambassador Stevens and a Private Arms Dealer named Marc Turi, but some of the shoulder fired Stinger Missiles ended up in Afghanistan where they were used against our own military.

On July 25th, 2012, a US Chinook helicopter was downed by one of them.

Not "destroyed" -- only because the idiot Taliban didn't arm the missile.

The helicopter didn't explode, but it had to land and an ordnance team recovered the missile’s serial number which led back to a cache of Stinger Missiles kept in Qatar by the CIA.

Obama and Hillary were in full panic mode, so Ambassador Stevens was sent to Benghazi to retrieve the rest of the Stinger Missiles.

This was a "do-or-die" mission, which explains the Stand Down Orders given to multiple rescue teams during the siege of the US Embassy.

It was the State Dept., NOT the CIA, that supplied the Stinger Missiles to our sworn enemies because Gen. Petraeus at CIA would not approve supplying the deadly missiles due to their potential use against commercial aircraft.

So then, Obama threw Gen. Petraeus under the bus when he refused to testify in support of Obama’s phony claim of a “spontaneous uprising caused by a YouTube video that insulted Muslims.”

Obama and Hillary committed OUTRIGHT TREASON!

THIS is what the investigation is all about,

*  WHY she had a Private Server, (in order to delete  the digital evidence),

*  and WHY Obama, two weeks after the attack, told the UN that the attack  was the result of the YouTube video, even though everyone KNEW it was not.

*  Furthermore, the Taliban knew that the administration had aided and abetted the enemy WITHOUT Congressional oversight or permission, so they began (blackmailing) the Obama Administration to release five Taliban generals being held at Guantanamo.

*  Bowe Bergdahl was just a useful-idiot pawn used to cover the release of the Taliban generals.

*  Everyone knew Bergdahl was a traitor but Obama used Bergdahl’s exchange for the five Taliban generals to cover the fact that Obama was being blackmailed by the Taliban about the unauthorized Stinger Missile deal.

So we have a traitor as POTUS that is not only corrupt, but compromised as well, and a Secretary of State that is a serial liar, who perjured herself multiple times at the Congressional Hearings on Benghazi.

Perhaps this is why no military aircraft were called upon for help in Benghazi:  Because the administration knew that our enemies had Stinger Missiles; that, if  used to down those planes, would likely be traced back to the CIA cache in Qatar and then to the State Dept.’s illegitimate arms deal in Libya.

   HTTPS://www.politico.com/search?q=Marc-turi-+Libyan-rebels-Hillary-Clinton

Forward this again and again and again until everyone reads the true story of Benghazi.   More than half of US citizens DO NOT Know.

A Sad Tale ...

 From my email -- thanks John:

Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you’re not around, I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently. I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt & hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.

Richard  

Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, and shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.  

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE: 

Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Check had changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.

============================================

Darned wi-fi... do you think that Max then married Richard's wife?

The Dog Food Diet

 From my email - thanks, Helen!

Cheaper than regular food, and you only have to to shopping once a month.  I would miss ice cream and chocolate, though.  And spaghetti.  And grapes, bananas and blackberries.  

The Meaning of Love

 What does love means to 4-8 year old kids??

Slow down for three minutes to read this.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined !

'When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.' Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.' Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.' Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image) Karen - age 7

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross..' Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

Now, take 60 seconds and Post this for others to see. And then be a child again today!

Google Pizza?

From a friend of a Facebook friend:

 Welcome To Google Pizza

CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?

GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.

CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.

CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.

GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?

CALLER: My usual? You know me?

GOOGLE:

According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER: OK! That’s what I want …

GOOGLE:

May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten free thin crust?

CALLER: What? I detest vegetables.

GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER: How the hell do you know?

GOOGLE:

Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.

We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:

Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.

GOOGLE:

Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.

According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER: I bought more from another drugstore.

GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER: I paid in cash.

GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

CALLER: I have other sources of cash.

GOOGLE:

That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER: WHAT THE HELL?

GOOGLE: I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:

Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.

GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…=

Gaslighting

 WHAT IS GASLIGHTING? (author unknown)

The term originates in the systematic psychological manipulation of a victim by her husband in Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 stage play Gas Light, and the film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944. In the story, the husband attempts to convince his wife and others that she is insane by manipulating small elements of their environment and insisting that she is mistaken, remembering things incorrectly, or delusional when she points out these changes. The play's title alludes to how the abusive husband slowly dims the gas lights in their home, while pretending nothing has changed, in an effort to make his wife doubt her own perceptions. The wife repeatedly asks her husband to confirm her perceptions about the dimming lights, but in defiance of reality, he keeps insisting that the lights are the same and instead it is she who is going insane.

We are living in a perpetual state of gaslighting. The reality that we are being told by the media is at complete odds with what we are seeing with our own two eyes. And when we question the false reality that we are being presented, or we claim that what we see is that actual reality, we are vilified as racist or bigots or just plain crazy. You’re not racist. You’re not crazy. You’re being gaslighted.

New York State has twice as many deaths from Covid-19 than any other state, and New York has accounted for one fifth of all Covid-19 deaths, but we are told that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has handled the pandemic better than any other governor. But if we support policies of Governors whose states had only a fraction of the infections and deaths as New York, we’re called anti-science and want people to die. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

We see mobs of people looting stores, smashing windows, setting cars on fire and burning down buildings, but we are told that these demonstrations are peaceful protests. And when we call this destruction of our cities, riots, we are called racists. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

We see the major problem destroying many inner-cities is crime; murder, gang violence, drug dealing, drive-by shootings, armed robbery, but we are told that it is not crime, but the police that are the problem in the inner-cities. We are told we must defund the police and remove law enforcement from crime-riddled cities to make them safer. But if we advocate for more policing in cities overrun by crime, we are accused of being white supremacists and racists. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

The United States of America accepts more immigrants than any other country in the world. The vast majority of the immigrants are “people of color”, and these immigrants are enjoying freedom and economic opportunity not available to them in their country of origin, but we are told that the United States is the most racist and oppressive country on the planet, and if we disagree, we are called racist and xenophobic. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Capitalist countries are the most prosperous countries in the world The standard of living is the highest in capitalist countries. We see more poor people move up the economic ladder to the middle and even the wealthy class through their effort and ability in capitalist countries than any other economic system in the world, but we are told capitalism is an oppressive system designed to keep people down. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Communist countries killed over 100 million people in the 20th century. Communist countries strip their citizens of basic hman rights, dictate every aspect of their lives, treat their citizens like slaves, and drive their economies into the ground, but we are told that Communism is the fairest, most equitable, freest and most prosperous economic system in the world. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

The most egregious example of gaslighting is the concept of “white fragility”. You spend your life trying to be a good person, trying to treat people fairly and with respect. You disavow racism and bigotry in all its forms. You judge people solely on the content of their character and not by the color of their skin. You don’t discriminate based on race or ethnicity. But you are told you are a racist, not because of something you did or said, but solely because of the color of your skin. You know instinctively that charging someone with racism because of their skin color is itself racist. You know that you are not racist, so you defend yourself and your character, but you are told that your defense of yourself is proof of your racism. So, we ask ourselves, am I crazy? No, you’re being gaslighted.

Gaslighting has become one of the most pervasive and destructive tactics in American politics. It is the exact opposite of what our political system was meant to be. It deals in lies and psychological coercion, and not the truth and intellectual discourse. If you ever ask yourself if you’re crazy, you are not. Crazy people aren’t sane enough to ask themselves if they’re crazy. So, trust yourself, believe what’s in your heart. Trust your eyes over what you are told. Never listen to the people who tell you that you are crazy, because you are not, you’re being gaslighted.

Sophocles said: "What people believe prevails over the truth."

And that's what the media are trying to exploit.

At the Doctor's Office ...

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter...

FBI 2013 Homicide Statistics

Assuming 40 million are black and 195 million are white in USA (estimate for 2013 per census.gov, not counting "others"):

*  Whites killed by blacks = 393

*  Blacks killed by whites = 150

*  Whites killed by whites  = 1,993

*  Blacks killed by blacks = 2,158

Grandpa's Stories...

Grandpa remembers the good old days ...

The Economy is So Bad That ...

The Last Ride...

I heard this story from a friend:

“A cabbie in Manhattan received a call from a residence in the older part of the Eastside. Though modest, the apartments were well-maintained. As he arrived, he noticed a parting of the curtains on a first floor window. Instead of honking, he waited and then decided to go up the stairs to the apartment. When he got there he was greeted by a frail old woman with her suitcase. He asked her to wait and he took her suitcase down to the trunk of the cab. Returning, he helped her slowly down the stairs and into the cab.

“Before pulling down the meter he asked where she wanted to go. She passed forward a slip of paper with the address and said, ‘Actually it is a hospice. My doctor tells me my days are limited, and since I have no family to stay with, he has recommended this home. But before we go there, I wonder if you would drive downtown. I have money in my purse to cover the fare.’

“The cabbie agreed and headed south through the traffic and followed her instructions. They stopped by a hospital and she pointed it out as the place she was born. They then traveled to a place she said she grew up as a child. They continued on for two hours driving around the city as she showed him places and told of her life experiences. Finally they came to the location of the hospice. He helped her out and she was greeted by someone who took her suitcase. She thanked the cabbie for his warm attention and said that this was one of the most special days of her life. She asked how much she owed for the ride and the cabbie said, “Ma'am, there is no charge, I never put the meter on. I too, have had one of the most special days of my life.’

“The cabbie had no further fares for the day but spent the time reflecting on the events. He asked himself, ‘what if I had just honked and driven away when no one appeared for the ride? What if I hadn’t taken the time to go up and bring her suitcase and her down the steps? What if had got worried about the time going by on a long trip around the city? What if I missed out on having one of the most special days of my life?"

Just wow.  I'm going to write about my last ride so that my descendants and friends have some knowledge about my life experiences. 

Senior Passwords

My friend Helen sent me this one:

Thoughts on the Wuhan Virus

THOUGHTS FOR ALL YOU DEEP THINKERS IN 

THIS RED-CHI-COM-FLU-VIRUS ERA...

 Going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.

Of all the things I learned in grade school, how to avoid cooties was the last one I expected to use!

So can we expect car insurance to go down since nobody can go anywhere? Just wondering... Jake, from State Farm...

People keep asking “is coronavirus really that serious?”  Listen up! Casinos and churches are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty serious!

Now that teachers finally have a chance to use the restroom, there’s no toilet paper.

Shout out to all the parents who never taught their kids respect and now they’re stuck at home with the little shits!!!

The longer this goes on the harder it will be to return to a society where pants and bras are required.

Cops these days will be like…come out with your hands washed!

Day 56 of quarantine…ate all the snacks and food…clothes no longer fit… but I’m still wearing gloves and mask for my protection.

I’m as bored as an Amish electrician!

Homeschooling Update: My child just said I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year!

Never in my whole life would I imagine my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!

And just like that…having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, plastic sheeting and rope in your trunk is OK.

Ask not what staying home on the couch can do for you, but staying home on the couch can do for your country.

50 million children being homeschooled by gun owning parents and not one single school mass shooting. Arming teachers works!!!

Police confront nudist sunbathers over not wearing facemasks amid coronavirus outbreak.

Ladies…time to start dating the older dudes. They can get you into the grocery store early.

I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

I can’t believe I can walk into a store to buy weed, but I have to meet my hairdresser in a dark alley with unmarked bills to get a haircut!

Have to say that the Class of 2020 outdid themselves with Senior Skip Day this year!

With so many sporting events cancelled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship…It’s on Paperview.

Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle.

I’m just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there’s a turd in Saturday.

Not to brag, but I haven’t been late for anything for the past 56 days!

Sitting at the bar in the kitchen at night. Tried to pick up my wife. She gave me a fake phone number. WTH…

It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for 2 Months now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.

Have you noticed that since beauty salons are closed, selfies are down 68%?

Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to prevent coronavirus, but to stop eating…