Monday, April 13, 2009

You are a Right-Wing Extremist if ...

A recently unclassified government report warns against the possibility of violence by “right-wing extremists.” According to unnamed sources close to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, you are a right wing extremist if you --

* Were born in the Deep South

* Believe that 9/11 was more serious than Watergate

* Wear an American flag in your lapel

* Knowingly listen to Rush Limbaugh Speak and write perfect English, but no Spanish

* Own more than two Bibles or one Confederate Flag

* Believe that Jesus Christ means eternal life

* Support the rule of law and maintenance of law and order

* Want America’s borders secured

* Believe that Mexico is a foreign nation and Spanish a foreign language

* Thank God that the U.S. won both world wars

* Oppose affirmative action, abortion, same-sex marriage, and gun control

* Believe that fighting higher taxes is more patriotic than paying them

* Believe that "anthropogenic global warming" is a socialist hoax.

* Prefer “Patriot’s Tea” to Obama Kool-aid

* Doubt that Islam is really a “Religion of Peace”

* Believe that a baby Jew born to a virgin 2009 years ago saved mankind from sin

* Send out Christmas cards

* Attend a Christian church on occasions other than Christmas and Easter.

Our tax dollars hard at work!

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