Friday, April 25, 2008

Senior Smiles

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset. 'What happened, Mother?' the daughter asked. 'I had to slap his face three times!' 'You mean he got fresh?' 'No,' she answered, 'I thought he was dead.'
A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, 'I want your ugliest woman and a burned grilled cheese sandwich!'

The Madam is astonished. 'But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal.'

The trucker replies, 'Listen Darlin, I ain't horny. I'm homesick.'
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done, you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 50+ year-old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'I remember these.'

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