Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

1 comment:

JOHNSIE said...

This is a copy of a section of your Of your writing from Oct. 2007.
"I remember only two high school teachers clearly - my math teacher was Mrs. Johnsie Posey (what a southern accent - a novelty in San Diego) and she really pushed us in high school math courses - trigonometry, geometry and calculus. But we got it - she made math fun. It prepared me very well for college, and she was like a professor. My chemistry teacher was an older fellow named J.O. Peterson (I still don't know his given names!) and what I remember from this class was that half the students were trying to make explosions in the classroom and Mr. Peterson was oblivious to it. I always tried to take the lab area furthest away from the experimenters! One of my best friends, Steve Johnson, could mimic J.O's speech perfectly and we would always be laughing in class."
I have just found it and wanted to bring you up to date. I am still alive and kicking. I DID end up as a Math Professor for nineteen years. San Diego High was a fun place to teach. Thank you for your comments about my teaching. They were very flattering. Steve Johnson was also one of my favorite studemts. Hope he has done as well as you have.
I am now living in Flower Mound, Tx
and spend most of my time playing Duplicate Bridge.
Johnsie Posey
email johnsiep@tx.rr.com