George Bush has been in office for 7 1/2 years. The first six the economy was fine. A little over one year ago:
1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) the unemployment rate was 4.5%.
4) the DOW JONES hit a record high--13,000 +
5) Americans were buying new cars, taking cruises, vacations overseas, living large!...
BUT American's wanted 'CHANGE'! So, in 2006 they voted in a Democratic Congress and yes--we got 'CHANGE' all right.
In the PAST YEAR:
1) Consumer confidence has plummeted ;
2) Gasoline is now over $4 a gallon & climbing!
3) Unemployment is up to 6.1% (a 10% increase);
4) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $12 TRILLION DOLLARS and prices still dropping;
5) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.
6) as I write this, THE DOW is probing another low~~ $2.5 TRILLION DOLLARS HAS EVAPORATED FROM THEIR STOCKS, BONDS & MUTUAL FUNDS INVESTMENT PORTFOLIOS!
YES, IN 2006 AMERICA VOTED FOR CHANGE...AND WE SURE GOT IT! ....
REMEMBER THE PRESIDENT HAS NO CONTROL OVER ANY OF THESE ISSUES, ONLY CONGRESS. AND WHAT HAS CONGRESS DONE IN THE LAST TWO YEARS, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
NOW THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT CLAIMS HE IS GOING TO REALLY GIVE US CHANGE ALONG WITH A DEMOCRATIC CONGRESS!!!!
JUST HOW MUCH MORE 'CHANGE' DO YOU THINK YOU CAN STAND?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Embarrassing Medical Exams
1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . Replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one ?'. . . I asked.
'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions Include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted B y Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis, OR
6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking upon a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?'
'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . .Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit.
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate Surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the Staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there Was a tattoo that read . . .'Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the Patient's' dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of Whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing This exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was . . . 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' '
Dr. Wouldn't submit his name
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . Replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment, he told me that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 'Which one ?'. . . I asked.
'The patch; the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions Include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Submitted B y Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .'Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was still alive.'
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis, OR
6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking upon a man I asked . . .' So how's your breakfast this morning?'
'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste.'. . .Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'
Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit.
7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . . . It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate Surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the Staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there Was a tattoo that read . . .'Keep off the grass.'
Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the Patient's' dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'
Submitted by RN no name
AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of Whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing This exam suddenly burst out laughing, further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . . 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was . . . 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' '
Dr. Wouldn't submit his name
New Seat Belt LAW
The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.
Correct installation is illustrated below.......
The national Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.
Correct installation is illustrated below.......
This is very Important, please pass on to friends and family. THIS MIGHT SAVE A LIFE!
From Teachers and Cops
From the teachers: - These 12 are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in New York City Public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny.
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any stupider he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
From the cops: These 16 were taken off actual police car videos around the country: [some mighty 'quick witted' cops!]
16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. It's good to know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.........Sign here.'
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any stupider he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
From the cops: These 16 were taken off actual police car videos around the country: [some mighty 'quick witted' cops!]
16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. It's good to know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.........Sign here.'
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
NFL Picks - Week 4
The third week of the NFL regular season was not a happy one for me, except for the Chargers win. I was 9-7 picking winners (29-18 on the year), while Las Vegas was 12-4 picking winners (32-14-1 on the year).
Here are my picks for Week 4 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Sunday, 28 September:
San Diego (1-2) (-7.5) at Oakland (1-2): San Diego by 10
Denver (3-0) (-9) at Kansas City (0-3): Denver by 14
Cleveland (0-3) (+3.5) at Cincinnati (0-3): Cleveland by 3
Houston (0-2) (+7.5) at Jacksonville (1-2): Jacksonville by 10
Arizona (2-1) (+2.5) at New York Jets (1-2): New York Jets by 7
San Francisco (2-1) (+6.5) at New Orleans (1-2): New Orleans by 3
Atlanta (2-1) (+7) at Carolina (2-1): Atlanta by 3
Minnesota (1-2) (+3) at Tennessee (3-0): Minnesota by 3
Green Bay (2-1) (+1.5) at Tampa Bay (2-1): Green Bay by 3
Buffalo (3-0) (-8) at St. Louis (0-3): Buffalo by 6
Washington (2-1) (+11.5) at Dallas (3-0): Dallas by 4
Philadelphia (2-1) (-3) at Chicago (1-2): Philadelphia by 3
MONDAY, 29 September:
Baltimore (2-0) (+3) at Pittsburgh (2-1): Baltimore by 3
BYES: NY Giants, Seattle, Detroit, Indianapolis, New England, Miami.
The home team is favored by Las Vegas in 10 of 13 games.
My Chargers played great on offense throughout the Jets game, racking up 41 points in a 48-29 win (the defense scored one TD, and set up the offense for two more). The defense played well until the 4th quarter, when they gave up three scoring drives but stopped the Jets on two occasions. Special teams really sucked - with an onside kick recovery and three long kickoff returns by the Jets to set up short drives.
The Chargers face the Raiders on Sunday. The Raiders are improved over last year, but cannot pass consistently. They do run well, and the Bolts' defense might be in for a long day if they can't stop the run. Being the optimist I usually am, I think it will be Chargers 34-24.
Here are my picks for Week 4 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Sunday, 28 September:
San Diego (1-2) (-7.5) at Oakland (1-2): San Diego by 10
Denver (3-0) (-9) at Kansas City (0-3): Denver by 14
Cleveland (0-3) (+3.5) at Cincinnati (0-3): Cleveland by 3
Houston (0-2) (+7.5) at Jacksonville (1-2): Jacksonville by 10
Arizona (2-1) (+2.5) at New York Jets (1-2): New York Jets by 7
San Francisco (2-1) (+6.5) at New Orleans (1-2): New Orleans by 3
Atlanta (2-1) (+7) at Carolina (2-1): Atlanta by 3
Minnesota (1-2) (+3) at Tennessee (3-0): Minnesota by 3
Green Bay (2-1) (+1.5) at Tampa Bay (2-1): Green Bay by 3
Buffalo (3-0) (-8) at St. Louis (0-3): Buffalo by 6
Washington (2-1) (+11.5) at Dallas (3-0): Dallas by 4
Philadelphia (2-1) (-3) at Chicago (1-2): Philadelphia by 3
MONDAY, 29 September:
Baltimore (2-0) (+3) at Pittsburgh (2-1): Baltimore by 3
BYES: NY Giants, Seattle, Detroit, Indianapolis, New England, Miami.
The home team is favored by Las Vegas in 10 of 13 games.
My Chargers played great on offense throughout the Jets game, racking up 41 points in a 48-29 win (the defense scored one TD, and set up the offense for two more). The defense played well until the 4th quarter, when they gave up three scoring drives but stopped the Jets on two occasions. Special teams really sucked - with an onside kick recovery and three long kickoff returns by the Jets to set up short drives.
The Chargers face the Raiders on Sunday. The Raiders are improved over last year, but cannot pass consistently. They do run well, and the Bolts' defense might be in for a long day if they can't stop the run. Being the optimist I usually am, I think it will be Chargers 34-24.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Installing Husband 1.0
From my email...
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: www.ithoughtyoulovedme.com and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.).
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck Babe!
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: www.ithoughtyoulovedme.com and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.).
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck Babe!
Little Sally
A wise man was talking to Sally, the 6 year-old daughter of a Democrat couple. She said she wanted to be President some day, so he asked her, 'Sally, if you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
'Wow! What a worthy goal,' the wise man told her. 'You don't have to wait until you're President to start on that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, because she's only 6. While her Mom glared at the wise man, Sally asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
The wise man replied, 'Sally, Welcome to the Republican Party.'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'
'Wow! What a worthy goal,' the wise man told her. 'You don't have to wait until you're President to start on that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house.'
She thought that over for a few seconds, because she's only 6. While her Mom glared at the wise man, Sally asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'
The wise man replied, 'Sally, Welcome to the Republican Party.'
Meet Marvin!
M eet Marvin, men's answer to Maxine --
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened when she brings it!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened when she brings it!-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Padres 2008 - Games 151 to 162
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
* 130 games, 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131, team BA 0.246, opposition BA 0.263, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.39.
* 140 games, 54-86 overall, 32-39 at home, 22-47 on the road, Runs 542-659, Homers 132-142, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 150 games, 57-93 overall, 34-44 at home, 23-49 on the road, Runs 581-698, Homers 141-150, team BA 0.250, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.34, opposition ERA 3.56.
Games 151 to 162 Summaries:
Game 151 - Monday, 15 September, San Diego at Colorado: Padres win 11-5. LeBlanc won (1-1), Macias (2), Antonelli (1) and Adrian Gonzalez (33) had Pads homers.
Game 152 - Tuesday, 16 September, San Diego at Colorado: Rockies win 10-3. Estes lost (2-3), Adrian Gonzalez (34) had only Pads homer.
Game 153 - Wednesday, 17 September, San Diego at Colorado: Rockies win 1-0. Geer lost (1-1), no Pads homers.
Game 154 - Friday, 19 September, San Diego at Washington: Pads win 11-6 in 11 innings. Hayhurst started, Hampson won (2-1). Kouzmanoff (22) and Venable (21) had homers.
Game 155 - Saturday, 20 September, San Diego at Washington: Pads win 6-1. Young wins (6-6, Young (2) and Edgar Gonzalez (7) had Pads homers.
Game 156 - Sunday, 21 September, San Diego on Washington: Pads win 6-2. Baek wins (6-9), Adrian Gonzalez (35) homered for Pads.
Game 157 - Tuesday, 23 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 10-1. LeBlanc started, lost (1-2). No Pads homers. Terrible game, worst of the year?
Game 158 - Wednesday, 24 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 12-4. Estes started, got hurt. Ekstrom lost it, but the bullpen really failed. No Pads homers.
Game 159 - Thursday, 25 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Padres win 7-5. Peavy won (10-11). Adrian Gonzalez (36) and Giles (12) hit homers.
Game 160 - Friday, 26 September, Pittsburgh at San Diego: Pirates win 6-3. Geer started, Ekstrom lost it (0-2). Hundley (5) homered.
Game 161 - Saturday, 27 September, Pittsburgh at San Diego: Padres win 3-2. Young won (7-6). Kouzmanoff (23) homered.
Game 162 - Sunday, 28 September, Pittsburgh at San Diego: Pirates win 6-1. Baek started, hurt. LeBlanc lost (1-3).
After 162 games, the Padres were 63-99, 35-46 at home, 28-53 on the road. The Pads scored 637 runs, gave up 764 runs. The Pads hit 154 homers, gave up 165 homers. The Padres team BA was 0.258, the opponents was 0.258. The Padres team ERA was 4.41, the opponents ERA was 3.57.
Which Padres player had a "career year?" None.
Brian Giles (0.306, 12, 63 in 559 AB), Adrian Gonzalez (0.279, 36, 119 in 616 AB), Kevin Kouzmanoff (0.260, 23, 84 in 624 AB), Jody Gerut (0.296, 14, 43 in 328 AB) Scott Hairston (0.248, 17, 31 in 326 AB), Luis Rodriguez (0.2887, 0 12 in 202 AB) and Edgar Gonzalez (0.274, 7, 33 in 325 AB) had average years.
Kahlil Greene (0.213, 10, 35 in 389 AB), Josh Bard (0.202, 1, 16 in 178 AB), and the rest of the catchers had poor years.
The prospects: Chase Headley (BA 0.269, 9 HR, 38 RBI in 331 AB), Nick Hundley (0.237, 5, 24 in 198 AB), and Will Venable (0.264, 2, 10 in 110 AB) have potential.
Jake Peavy pitched well (10-11, 2.85) but had several bad outings. Chris Young (7-6, 3.95), Cha Seung Baek (6-9, 4.62) and Greg Maddux were OK, but inconsistent. Josh Geer (2-1, 2.67) was the only rookie who pitched well in their cameos. Mike Adams (2-3, 2.48) was the only reliever who was effective consistently. Bell (6-6, 3.58, 9 BS) and Hoffman (3-6, 3.77, 30 saves, 4 BS) were inconsistent.
The Padres need more power, a catcher with defensive skills and some power, and a shortstop and second baseman with get-on-base skills and a high batting average. There were way too many strikeouts and not enough runs scored.
The Padres need three more starting pitchers and four decent relievers - I would keep only Peavy, Young, Geer, Adams, Bell and Hoffman.
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
* 130 games, 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131, team BA 0.246, opposition BA 0.263, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.39.
* 140 games, 54-86 overall, 32-39 at home, 22-47 on the road, Runs 542-659, Homers 132-142, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 150 games, 57-93 overall, 34-44 at home, 23-49 on the road, Runs 581-698, Homers 141-150, team BA 0.250, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.34, opposition ERA 3.56.
Games 151 to 162 Summaries:
Game 151 - Monday, 15 September, San Diego at Colorado: Padres win 11-5. LeBlanc won (1-1), Macias (2), Antonelli (1) and Adrian Gonzalez (33) had Pads homers.
Game 152 - Tuesday, 16 September, San Diego at Colorado: Rockies win 10-3. Estes lost (2-3), Adrian Gonzalez (34) had only Pads homer.
Game 153 - Wednesday, 17 September, San Diego at Colorado: Rockies win 1-0. Geer lost (1-1), no Pads homers.
Game 154 - Friday, 19 September, San Diego at Washington: Pads win 11-6 in 11 innings. Hayhurst started, Hampson won (2-1). Kouzmanoff (22) and Venable (21) had homers.
Game 155 - Saturday, 20 September, San Diego at Washington: Pads win 6-1. Young wins (6-6, Young (2) and Edgar Gonzalez (7) had Pads homers.
Game 156 - Sunday, 21 September, San Diego on Washington: Pads win 6-2. Baek wins (6-9), Adrian Gonzalez (35) homered for Pads.
Game 157 - Tuesday, 23 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 10-1. LeBlanc started, lost (1-2). No Pads homers. Terrible game, worst of the year?
Game 158 - Wednesday, 24 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Dodgers win 12-4. Estes started, got hurt. Ekstrom lost it, but the bullpen really failed. No Pads homers.
Game 159 - Thursday, 25 September, San Diego at Los Angeles: Padres win 7-5. Peavy won (10-11). Adrian Gonzalez (36) and Giles (12) hit homers.
Game 160 - Friday, 26 September, Pittsburgh at San Diego: Pirates win 6-3. Geer started, Ekstrom lost it (0-2). Hundley (5) homered.
Game 161 - Saturday, 27 September, Pittsburgh at San Diego: Padres win 3-2. Young won (7-6). Kouzmanoff (23) homered.
Game 162 - Sunday, 28 September, Pittsburgh at San Diego: Pirates win 6-1. Baek started, hurt. LeBlanc lost (1-3).
After 162 games, the Padres were 63-99, 35-46 at home, 28-53 on the road. The Pads scored 637 runs, gave up 764 runs. The Pads hit 154 homers, gave up 165 homers. The Padres team BA was 0.258, the opponents was 0.258. The Padres team ERA was 4.41, the opponents ERA was 3.57.
Which Padres player had a "career year?" None.
Brian Giles (0.306, 12, 63 in 559 AB), Adrian Gonzalez (0.279, 36, 119 in 616 AB), Kevin Kouzmanoff (0.260, 23, 84 in 624 AB), Jody Gerut (0.296, 14, 43 in 328 AB) Scott Hairston (0.248, 17, 31 in 326 AB), Luis Rodriguez (0.2887, 0 12 in 202 AB) and Edgar Gonzalez (0.274, 7, 33 in 325 AB) had average years.
Kahlil Greene (0.213, 10, 35 in 389 AB), Josh Bard (0.202, 1, 16 in 178 AB), and the rest of the catchers had poor years.
The prospects: Chase Headley (BA 0.269, 9 HR, 38 RBI in 331 AB), Nick Hundley (0.237, 5, 24 in 198 AB), and Will Venable (0.264, 2, 10 in 110 AB) have potential.
Jake Peavy pitched well (10-11, 2.85) but had several bad outings. Chris Young (7-6, 3.95), Cha Seung Baek (6-9, 4.62) and Greg Maddux were OK, but inconsistent. Josh Geer (2-1, 2.67) was the only rookie who pitched well in their cameos. Mike Adams (2-3, 2.48) was the only reliever who was effective consistently. Bell (6-6, 3.58, 9 BS) and Hoffman (3-6, 3.77, 30 saves, 4 BS) were inconsistent.
The Padres need more power, a catcher with defensive skills and some power, and a shortstop and second baseman with get-on-base skills and a high batting average. There were way too many strikeouts and not enough runs scored.
The Padres need three more starting pitchers and four decent relievers - I would keep only Peavy, Young, Geer, Adams, Bell and Hoffman.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
NFL Picks - Week 3
The second week of the NFL regular season is in the bag, and I was 10-5 picking winners (20-11 on the year), while Las Vegas was 9-6 picking winners (20-10-1 on the year)
Here are my picks for Week 3 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Sunday, 21 September:
Kansas City (0-2) (+5.5) at Atlanta (1-1): Atlanta by 10
Oakland (1-1) (+9.5) at Buffalo (2-0): Buffalo by 6
Houston (0-1) (+5.5) at Tennessee (2-0): Houston by 3
Cincinnati (0-2) (+13.5) at NY Giants (2-0): NY Giants by 17
Arizona (2-0) (+3) at Washington (1-1): Washington by 7
Miami (0-2) (+12.5) at New England (2-0): New England by 13
Tampa Bay (1-1) (+3.5) at Chicago (1-1): Tampa Bay by 3
Carolina (2-0) (+3) at Minnesota (0-2): Carolina by 3
St. Louis (0-2) (+10) at Seattle (0-2): Seattle by 13
Detroit (0-2) (+4) at San Francisco (1-1): San Francisco by 7
New Orleans (1-1) (+5.5) at Denver (2-0): Denver by 4
Pittsburgh (2-0) (+3) at Philadelphia (1-1): Pittsburgh by 3
Jacksonville (0-2) (+5.5) at Indianapolis (1-1): Jacksonville by 3
Cleveland (0-2) (+2) at Baltimore (0-1): Cleveland by 3
MONDAY, 22 September:
NY Jets (1-1) (+9.5) at San Diego (0-2): San Diego by 3
The home team is favored by Las Vegas in 15 of 16 games.
My Chargers played poorly on offense in the first quarter, and poorly on defense in three quarters against Denver, who eked out a 39-38 victory with the help of two botched referee calls. Of course, if the defense had stopped the Broncos on any one of Denver's TD drives, we would be 1-1. The running game is still poor - blocking especially. The pass blocking is mediocre too - Rivers buys time with his feet well. The defense overruns running plays and can't rush the passer effectively. The pass coverage is only fair.
The Monday Night Football game against the Jets is a real must-win for both teams. I'm tempted to say the Chargers will win 37-34 in a shootout between Rivers and Favre. Will Tomlinson play effectively? Will the pass rush play well? I'm not optimistic.
Here are my picks for Week 3 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Sunday, 21 September:
Kansas City (0-2) (+5.5) at Atlanta (1-1): Atlanta by 10
Oakland (1-1) (+9.5) at Buffalo (2-0): Buffalo by 6
Houston (0-1) (+5.5) at Tennessee (2-0): Houston by 3
Cincinnati (0-2) (+13.5) at NY Giants (2-0): NY Giants by 17
Arizona (2-0) (+3) at Washington (1-1): Washington by 7
Miami (0-2) (+12.5) at New England (2-0): New England by 13
Tampa Bay (1-1) (+3.5) at Chicago (1-1): Tampa Bay by 3
Carolina (2-0) (+3) at Minnesota (0-2): Carolina by 3
St. Louis (0-2) (+10) at Seattle (0-2): Seattle by 13
Detroit (0-2) (+4) at San Francisco (1-1): San Francisco by 7
New Orleans (1-1) (+5.5) at Denver (2-0): Denver by 4
Pittsburgh (2-0) (+3) at Philadelphia (1-1): Pittsburgh by 3
Jacksonville (0-2) (+5.5) at Indianapolis (1-1): Jacksonville by 3
Cleveland (0-2) (+2) at Baltimore (0-1): Cleveland by 3
MONDAY, 22 September:
NY Jets (1-1) (+9.5) at San Diego (0-2): San Diego by 3
The home team is favored by Las Vegas in 15 of 16 games.
My Chargers played poorly on offense in the first quarter, and poorly on defense in three quarters against Denver, who eked out a 39-38 victory with the help of two botched referee calls. Of course, if the defense had stopped the Broncos on any one of Denver's TD drives, we would be 1-1. The running game is still poor - blocking especially. The pass blocking is mediocre too - Rivers buys time with his feet well. The defense overruns running plays and can't rush the passer effectively. The pass coverage is only fair.
The Monday Night Football game against the Jets is a real must-win for both teams. I'm tempted to say the Chargers will win 37-34 in a shootout between Rivers and Favre. Will Tomlinson play effectively? Will the pass rush play well? I'm not optimistic.
Just Thinking
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think You know.
I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust.'I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for our company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor!'
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust.'I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for our company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor!'
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
Should we take down the bird feeder?
I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed.
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ..... everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore.
So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene, and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!
Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table ..... everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore.
So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene, and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now let's see.... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop!
The Philosophy of Ambiguity
FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY...
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR...
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGAEBRA?
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS?'
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR...
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGAEBRA?
24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS?'
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
More Idiot Sightings
From my email...
Be Careful Out There:
1) IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..' We haven't used Sears repair since.
2) IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
3) IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman, KS .
4) IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Kansas City
5) IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' T o which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
6) IDIOT SIGHTING : The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
7) IDIOT SIGHTING : At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
8) IDIOT SIGHTING : I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
9) IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they VOTE and they REPRODUCE!
Be Careful Out There:
1) IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..' We haven't used Sears repair since.
2) IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
3) IDIOT SIGHTING : I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman, KS .
4) IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Kansas City
5) IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' T o which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
6) IDIOT SIGHTING : The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
7) IDIOT SIGHTING : At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
8) IDIOT SIGHTING : I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
9) IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they VOTE and they REPRODUCE!
Friday, September 12, 2008
NFL Picks - Week 2
The first week of the NFL regular season is in the bag, and I was 10-6 picking winners (Las Vegas was 11-4-1 picking winners.
Here are my picks for Week 2 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Sunday, 14 September:
San Diego (0-1) (-2.5) at Denver (1-0) -- Denver by 1
Oakland (0-1) (+4) at Kansas City (0-1) -- KC by 3
Tennessee (1-0) (+1.5) at Cincinnati (0-1) -- Tennessee by 3
Indianapolis (0-1) (-2) at Minnesota (0-1) -- Indianapolis by 7
New Orleans (1-0) (+1.5) at Washington (0-1) -- New Orleans by 3
Green Bay (1-0) (-3) at Detroit (0-1) -- Green Bay by 13
Chicago (1-0) (+3) at Carolina (1-0) -- Carolina by 3
NY Giants (1-0) (-8) at St. Louis (0-1) -- NY Giants by 17
Buffalo (1-0) (+6) at Jacksonville (0-1) -- Buffalo by 3
Atlanta (1-0) (+9) at Tampa Bay (0-1) -- Atlanta by 3
San Francisco (0-1) (+9) at Seattle (0-1) -- Seattle by 17
Miami (0-1) (+7) at Arizona (1-0) -- Arizona by 10
New England (1-0) (+3) at NY Jets (1-0) -- New England by 3
Baltimore (1-0) (+5) at Houston (0-1) -- Baltimore by 3
Pittsburgh (1-0) (-5.5) at Cleveland (0-1) -- Pittsburgh by 3
MONDAY, 15 September:
Philadelphia (1-0) (+7.5) at Dallas (1-0) -- Dallas by 3
My San Diego Chargers lost to Carolina at home in Week 1 - poor blocking and tackling in the first half, and an inability to harass the QB in the second half - Carolina marched down the field to score the winning TD on the last play of the game. Merriman is out on IR with his knee. Tomlinson got banged up a bit.
My Chargers game prediction - San Diego 23, Denver 24. It won't be easy this week, either. The Chargers stuffed the Broncos twice last year, and they haven't forgotten it. A loss by the Bolts to Denver puts them 2 behind in the AFC West after two weeks. It's a must-win for the Chargers. Do they have enough defense to keep it close?
Here are my picks for Week 2 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Sunday, 14 September:
San Diego (0-1) (-2.5) at Denver (1-0) -- Denver by 1
Oakland (0-1) (+4) at Kansas City (0-1) -- KC by 3
Tennessee (1-0) (+1.5) at Cincinnati (0-1) -- Tennessee by 3
Indianapolis (0-1) (-2) at Minnesota (0-1) -- Indianapolis by 7
New Orleans (1-0) (+1.5) at Washington (0-1) -- New Orleans by 3
Green Bay (1-0) (-3) at Detroit (0-1) -- Green Bay by 13
Chicago (1-0) (+3) at Carolina (1-0) -- Carolina by 3
NY Giants (1-0) (-8) at St. Louis (0-1) -- NY Giants by 17
Buffalo (1-0) (+6) at Jacksonville (0-1) -- Buffalo by 3
Atlanta (1-0) (+9) at Tampa Bay (0-1) -- Atlanta by 3
San Francisco (0-1) (+9) at Seattle (0-1) -- Seattle by 17
Miami (0-1) (+7) at Arizona (1-0) -- Arizona by 10
New England (1-0) (+3) at NY Jets (1-0) -- New England by 3
Baltimore (1-0) (+5) at Houston (0-1) -- Baltimore by 3
Pittsburgh (1-0) (-5.5) at Cleveland (0-1) -- Pittsburgh by 3
MONDAY, 15 September:
Philadelphia (1-0) (+7.5) at Dallas (1-0) -- Dallas by 3
My San Diego Chargers lost to Carolina at home in Week 1 - poor blocking and tackling in the first half, and an inability to harass the QB in the second half - Carolina marched down the field to score the winning TD on the last play of the game. Merriman is out on IR with his knee. Tomlinson got banged up a bit.
My Chargers game prediction - San Diego 23, Denver 24. It won't be easy this week, either. The Chargers stuffed the Broncos twice last year, and they haven't forgotten it. A loss by the Bolts to Denver puts them 2 behind in the AFC West after two weeks. It's a must-win for the Chargers. Do they have enough defense to keep it close?
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
More signs
Did I read that sign right
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park: (I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Padres 2008 - Games 141-150
Here is the Padres' history for each 10-game block of the 2008 season so far:
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
* 130 games, 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131, team BA 0.246, opposition BA 0.263, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.39.
* 140 games, 54-86 overall, 32-39 at home, 22-47 on the road, Runs 542-659, Homers 132-142, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.49.
Games 141 to 150 Summaries:
Game 141, Friday, 5 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Brewers win 3-2. Geer started, Falkenborg (2-3) lost. Giles (11) had homer.
Game 142, Saturday, 6 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Brewers win 1-0. Peavy (9-10) lost. No Pads homers.
Game 143, Sunday, 7 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Pads win 10-1. Young (5-5) took perfect game into the 8th, gave up a homer to Gabe Kapler. Kouzmanoff (21) and Headley (9) had homers.
Game 144, Monday, 8 September, Los Angeles at San Diego: Pads win 4-0. Baek won (5-9), Adrian Gonzales (29) had Pads homer.
Game 145, Tuesday, 9 September, Los Angeles at San Diego: Dodgers win 6-2. LeBlanc started, Bell lost (6-6). No Pads homers.
Game 146, Wednesday, 10 September, Los Angeles at San Diego: Dodgers win 7-2. Estes lost (2-2). No Pads homers.
Game 147: Thursday, 11 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Pads win 11-3 (we were there). Geer won (2-0). Edgar Gonzalez (6), Drew Macias (1) and Adrian Gonzalez 2 (31) had homers.
Game 147: Friday, 12 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Giants win 5-2. Peavy lost (9-11). Adrian Gonzalez homered (32).
Game 147: Saturday, 13 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Giants win 7-0 (we were there). Young lost (5-6). No Pads homers.
Game 150: Sunday, 14 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Giants win 8-6 in 10 innings. Baek started, Hayhurst lost (0-2). No Pads homers.
After 150 games, the Pads are 57-93 overall, 34-44 at home, 23-49 on the road, Runs 581-698, Homers 141-150, team BA 0.250, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.34, opposition ERA 3.56.
*10 games, 5-5 overall, 4-3 at home, 1-2 on the road, Runs 32-31, Homers 6-7, team BA 0.282, team ERA 2.97.
* 20 games, 9-11 overall, 5-5 at home, 4-6 on the road, Runs 65-92, Homers 11-14, team BA 0.239, opposition BA 0.241, team ERA 3.88, opposition ERA 2.65.
* 30 games, 11-19 overall, 6-9 at home, 5-10 on the road, Runs 98-139, Homers 21-26, team BA 0.226, opposition BA 0.244, team ERA 4.01, opposition ERA 2.79.
* 40 games, 15-25 overall, 8-10 at home, 7-15 on the road, Runs 135-188, Homers 29-33, team BA 0.234, opposition BA 0.253, team ERA 4.14, opposition ERA 3.35.
* 50 games, 18-32 overall, 10-13 at home, 8-19 on the road, Runs 168-237, Homers 38-44, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.44.
* 60 games, 23-37 overall 13-17 at home, 10-20 on the road, Runs 222-287, Homers 49-54, team BA 0.237, opposition BA 0.260, team ERA 4.19, opposition ERA 3.22.
* 70 games, 31-39 overall 20-18 at home, 11-21 on the road, Runs 266-317, Homers 62-58, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.255, team ERA 4.07, opposition ERA 3.43.
* 80 games, 32-48 overall 21-23 at home, 11-25 on the road, Runs 296-372, Homers 70-75, team BA 0.245, opposition BA 0.258, team ERA 4.16, opposition ERA 3.73.
* 90 games, 35-55 overall 21-27 at home, 14-28 on the road, Runs 330-419, Homers 81-85, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.259, team ERA 4.23, opposition ERA 3.40.
* 100 games, 38-62 overall, 23-30 at home, 15-32 on the road, Runs 376-475, Homers 93-100, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.262, team ERA 4.33, opposition ERA 3.47.
* 110 games, 42-68 overall, 24-33 at home, 18-35 on the road, Runs 416-527, Homers 106-114, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.39, opposition ERA 3.49.
* 120 games, 46-74 overall, 25-36 at home, 21-38 on the road, Runs 462-571, Homers 123-123, team BA 0.247, opposition BA 0.265, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.29.
* 130 games, 48-82 overall, 27-38 at home, 21-44 on the road, Runs 494-616, Homers 126-131, team BA 0.246, opposition BA 0.263, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.39.
* 140 games, 54-86 overall, 32-39 at home, 22-47 on the road, Runs 542-659, Homers 132-142, team BA 0.248, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.37, opposition ERA 3.49.
Games 141 to 150 Summaries:
Game 141, Friday, 5 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Brewers win 3-2. Geer started, Falkenborg (2-3) lost. Giles (11) had homer.
Game 142, Saturday, 6 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Brewers win 1-0. Peavy (9-10) lost. No Pads homers.
Game 143, Sunday, 7 September, San Diego at Milwaukee: Pads win 10-1. Young (5-5) took perfect game into the 8th, gave up a homer to Gabe Kapler. Kouzmanoff (21) and Headley (9) had homers.
Game 144, Monday, 8 September, Los Angeles at San Diego: Pads win 4-0. Baek won (5-9), Adrian Gonzales (29) had Pads homer.
Game 145, Tuesday, 9 September, Los Angeles at San Diego: Dodgers win 6-2. LeBlanc started, Bell lost (6-6). No Pads homers.
Game 146, Wednesday, 10 September, Los Angeles at San Diego: Dodgers win 7-2. Estes lost (2-2). No Pads homers.
Game 147: Thursday, 11 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Pads win 11-3 (we were there). Geer won (2-0). Edgar Gonzalez (6), Drew Macias (1) and Adrian Gonzalez 2 (31) had homers.
Game 147: Friday, 12 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Giants win 5-2. Peavy lost (9-11). Adrian Gonzalez homered (32).
Game 147: Saturday, 13 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Giants win 7-0 (we were there). Young lost (5-6). No Pads homers.
Game 150: Sunday, 14 September, San Francisco at San Diego: Giants win 8-6 in 10 innings. Baek started, Hayhurst lost (0-2). No Pads homers.
After 150 games, the Pads are 57-93 overall, 34-44 at home, 23-49 on the road, Runs 581-698, Homers 141-150, team BA 0.250, opposition BA 0.261, team ERA 4.34, opposition ERA 3.56.
George W's War
From INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY
No one likes war. War is a horrific affair, bloody and expensive. Sending our men and women into battle to perhaps die or be maimed is an unconscionable thought.
Yet some wars need to be waged, and someone needs to lead. The citizenry and Congress are often ambivalent or largely opposed to any given war. It's up to our leader to convince them. That's why we call the leader 'Commander in Chief.' George W.'s war was no different. There was lots of resistance to it. Many in Congress were vehemently against the idea. The Commander in Chief had to lobby for legislative approval.
Along with supporters, George W. used the force of his convictions, the power of his title and every ounce of moral suasion he could muster to rally support. He had to assure Congress and the public that the war was morally justified, winnable and affordable. Congress eventually came around and voted overwhelmingly to wage war.
George W. then lobbied foreign governments for support. But in the end, only one European nation helped us. The rest of the world sat on its hands and watched.
After a few quick victories, things started to go bad. There were many dark days when all the news was discouraging. Casualties began to mount. It became obvious that our forces were too small. Congress began to drag its feet about funding the effort.
Many who had voted to support the war just a few years earlier were beginning to speak against it and accuse the Commander in Chief of misleading them. Many critics began to call him incompetent, an idiot and even a liar. Journalists joined the negative chorus with a vengeance.
As the war entered its fourth year, the public began to grow weary of the conflict and the casualties. George W.'s popularity plummeted. Yet through it all, he stood firm, supporting the troops and endorsing the struggle.
Without his unwavering support, the war would have surely ended, then and there, in overwhelming and total defeat. At this darkest of times, he began to make some changes. More troops were added and trained. Some advisers were shuffled, and new generals installed.
Then, unexpectedly and gradually, things began to improve. Now it was the enemy that appeared to be growing weary of the lengthy conflict and losing support. Victories began to come, and hope returned.
Many critics in Congress and the press said the improvements were just George W.'s good luck. The progress, they said, would be temporary. He knew, however, that in warfare good fortune counts.
Then, in the unlikeliest of circumstances and perhaps the most historic example of military luck, the enemy blundered and was resoundingly defeated. After six long years of war, the Commander in Chief basked in a most hard-fought victory.
So on that historic day, Oct. 19, 1781, in a place called Yorktown, a satisfied George Washington sat upon his beautiful white horse and accepted the surrender of Lord Cornwallis, effectively ending the Revolutionary War.
What? Were you thinking of someone else?
No one likes war. War is a horrific affair, bloody and expensive. Sending our men and women into battle to perhaps die or be maimed is an unconscionable thought.
Yet some wars need to be waged, and someone needs to lead. The citizenry and Congress are often ambivalent or largely opposed to any given war. It's up to our leader to convince them. That's why we call the leader 'Commander in Chief.' George W.'s war was no different. There was lots of resistance to it. Many in Congress were vehemently against the idea. The Commander in Chief had to lobby for legislative approval.
Along with supporters, George W. used the force of his convictions, the power of his title and every ounce of moral suasion he could muster to rally support. He had to assure Congress and the public that the war was morally justified, winnable and affordable. Congress eventually came around and voted overwhelmingly to wage war.
George W. then lobbied foreign governments for support. But in the end, only one European nation helped us. The rest of the world sat on its hands and watched.
After a few quick victories, things started to go bad. There were many dark days when all the news was discouraging. Casualties began to mount. It became obvious that our forces were too small. Congress began to drag its feet about funding the effort.
Many who had voted to support the war just a few years earlier were beginning to speak against it and accuse the Commander in Chief of misleading them. Many critics began to call him incompetent, an idiot and even a liar. Journalists joined the negative chorus with a vengeance.
As the war entered its fourth year, the public began to grow weary of the conflict and the casualties. George W.'s popularity plummeted. Yet through it all, he stood firm, supporting the troops and endorsing the struggle.
Without his unwavering support, the war would have surely ended, then and there, in overwhelming and total defeat. At this darkest of times, he began to make some changes. More troops were added and trained. Some advisers were shuffled, and new generals installed.
Then, unexpectedly and gradually, things began to improve. Now it was the enemy that appeared to be growing weary of the lengthy conflict and losing support. Victories began to come, and hope returned.
Many critics in Congress and the press said the improvements were just George W.'s good luck. The progress, they said, would be temporary. He knew, however, that in warfare good fortune counts.
Then, in the unlikeliest of circumstances and perhaps the most historic example of military luck, the enemy blundered and was resoundingly defeated. After six long years of war, the Commander in Chief basked in a most hard-fought victory.
So on that historic day, Oct. 19, 1781, in a place called Yorktown, a satisfied George Washington sat upon his beautiful white horse and accepted the surrender of Lord Cornwallis, effectively ending the Revolutionary War.
What? Were you thinking of someone else?
The Spanish lesson
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer'
should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four
reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine
gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE
the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Seems tome that "el computadora" has the best properties of both genders! A hermaphrodite maybe?
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer'
should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four
reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine
gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine
('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE
the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Seems tome that "el computadora" has the best properties of both genders! A hermaphrodite maybe?
Things About Me
I got this in my email...
Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your Friends. press 'FORWARD' then change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you.
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!
1. What time did you get up this morning? -- 6:00 A.M
2. Diamonds or pearls? -- Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? - Master and Commander
4. What is your favorite TV show? -- 24
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? -- a banana and Rice Krispies, or banana and two frozen waffles with butter
6. What is your middle name? -- Jeffrey
7. What food do you dislike? -- Artichokes, guacamole, refried beans
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? -- don't have CDs
9. What kind of car do you drive? - 2005 Lincoln Town Car
10. Favorite sandwich? -- Peanut butter and butter on white bread
11. What characteristic do you despise? -- arrogance
12. Favorite item of clothing? -- shoes
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? -- Australia
14. Favorite brand of clothing? -- Costco
15. Where would you retire to? -- Chula Vista
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? -- can't remember
17. Favorite sport to watch? -- Chargers football
18. Farthermost place you are sending this? -- Australia?
19. Person you expect to reply first? -- Ginny
20. When is your birthday? -- 23 October
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? -- morning and night, not afternoon
22. What is your shoe size? -- 9.5 wide
23. Pets? -- wife occasionally
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? -- I like genealogy research
25. What did you want to be when you were little? -- baseball player
26. How are you today? -- fine
27. What is your favorite candy? -- See's Chocolates
28. What is your favorite flower? -- Rose
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? -- September 25 (visit my grandsons)
30. What is your full name? -- hey you? Randall Jeffrey Seaver
31. What are you listening to right now? -- Rush Limbaugh
32. What was the last thing you ate? -- apple
33. Do you wish on stars? -- no
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? -- sharp, er, orange
35. How is the weather right now? -- sunny and cool (74 F)
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? -- Linda
37. Favorite soft drink? -- Fanta Orange
38. Favorite restaurant -- The Butcher Shop
39. Real hair color? -- light brown (sandy) with gray beard and fringes
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? -- Lionel trains
41. Summer or winter? -- Winter
42. Hugs or kisses? -- both! Hugs.
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? -- chocolate
44. Coffee or tea? -- neither
45. Do you want your friends to email you back? -- yes
46. When was the last time you cried? -- when Michael came home from Iraq
47. What is under your bed? -- dust bunnies
48. What did you do last night? -- watched Padres game
49. What are you afraid of ? -- burglars
50. Salty or sweet? -- sweet
51. How many keys on your key ring? - six
52. How many years at your current job? -- 6 (retired)
53. Favorite day of the week? -- Wednesday (genealogy events
54. How many towns have you lived in? - two (Chula Vista and San Diego)
55. Do you make friends easily? -- yes
56. How many people will you send this to? -- zero
57. How many will respond? -- zero (unless they comment)
Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your Friends. press 'FORWARD' then change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you.
The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known!
1. What time did you get up this morning? -- 6:00 A.M
2. Diamonds or pearls? -- Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? - Master and Commander
4. What is your favorite TV show? -- 24
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? -- a banana and Rice Krispies, or banana and two frozen waffles with butter
6. What is your middle name? -- Jeffrey
7. What food do you dislike? -- Artichokes, guacamole, refried beans
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? -- don't have CDs
9. What kind of car do you drive? - 2005 Lincoln Town Car
10. Favorite sandwich? -- Peanut butter and butter on white bread
11. What characteristic do you despise? -- arrogance
12. Favorite item of clothing? -- shoes
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? -- Australia
14. Favorite brand of clothing? -- Costco
15. Where would you retire to? -- Chula Vista
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? -- can't remember
17. Favorite sport to watch? -- Chargers football
18. Farthermost place you are sending this? -- Australia?
19. Person you expect to reply first? -- Ginny
20. When is your birthday? -- 23 October
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? -- morning and night, not afternoon
22. What is your shoe size? -- 9.5 wide
23. Pets? -- wife occasionally
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? -- I like genealogy research
25. What did you want to be when you were little? -- baseball player
26. How are you today? -- fine
27. What is your favorite candy? -- See's Chocolates
28. What is your favorite flower? -- Rose
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? -- September 25 (visit my grandsons)
30. What is your full name? -- hey you? Randall Jeffrey Seaver
31. What are you listening to right now? -- Rush Limbaugh
32. What was the last thing you ate? -- apple
33. Do you wish on stars? -- no
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? -- sharp, er, orange
35. How is the weather right now? -- sunny and cool (74 F)
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? -- Linda
37. Favorite soft drink? -- Fanta Orange
38. Favorite restaurant -- The Butcher Shop
39. Real hair color? -- light brown (sandy) with gray beard and fringes
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? -- Lionel trains
41. Summer or winter? -- Winter
42. Hugs or kisses? -- both! Hugs.
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? -- chocolate
44. Coffee or tea? -- neither
45. Do you want your friends to email you back? -- yes
46. When was the last time you cried? -- when Michael came home from Iraq
47. What is under your bed? -- dust bunnies
48. What did you do last night? -- watched Padres game
49. What are you afraid of ? -- burglars
50. Salty or sweet? -- sweet
51. How many keys on your key ring? - six
52. How many years at your current job? -- 6 (retired)
53. Favorite day of the week? -- Wednesday (genealogy events
54. How many towns have you lived in? - two (Chula Vista and San Diego)
55. Do you make friends easily? -- yes
56. How many people will you send this to? -- zero
57. How many will respond? -- zero (unless they comment)
Thursday, September 04, 2008
NFL Week 1 Picks
The NFL regular season starts this weekend, and I'm going to try to pick winners again this year. This didn't work out too well last year - I was 154-102 in the regular season - only 60.2% picking winners.
Here are my picks for Week 1 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Thursday, September 4th
Washington (+4) at New York Giants - NY Giants by 13
Sunday, September 7th
Detroit (+1) at Atlanta - Detroit by 6
Cincinnati (-1) at Baltimore - Baltimore by 7
Seattle (Pk) at Buffalo - Buffalo by 3
New York Jets (-2.5) at Miami - NY Jets by 3
Kansas City (off) at New England - Patriots by 30
Tampa Bay (+3) at New Orleans - New Orleans by 7
St. Louis (+7) at Philadelphia - Philadelphia by 9
Houston (+7) at Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh by 6
Jacksonville (-3) at Tennessee - Jacksonville by 3
Dallas (-3) at Cleveland - Cleveland by 3
Carolina (+9.5) at San Diego - San Diego by 10
Arizona (-2.5) at San Francisco - Arizona by 6
Chicago (+9.5) at Indianapolis - Chicago by 3
Monday, September 8th
Minnesota (+3) at Green Bay - Minnesota by 3
Denver (-1) at Oakland - Oakland by 3
Game on!
My San Diego Chargers (I'm a 48th year fan...) are supposed to go all the way. The San Diego Union today writer thought they would win the AFC West and go 12-4 in the regular season. I'm always a pessimist with the Chargers. Right now, injuries to Marcus McNeill, Jamal Williams, Shawne Merriman and Antonio Gates - all Pro Bowl players - threaten the offensive and defensive schemes. A critical injury to Tomlinson or Rivers would likely cripple the team for the season.
My Chargers prediction - San Diego 27, Carolina 17. It won't be easy this week.
Here are my picks for Week 1 (Las Vegas odds in () ):
Thursday, September 4th
Washington (+4) at New York Giants - NY Giants by 13
Sunday, September 7th
Detroit (+1) at Atlanta - Detroit by 6
Cincinnati (-1) at Baltimore - Baltimore by 7
Seattle (Pk) at Buffalo - Buffalo by 3
New York Jets (-2.5) at Miami - NY Jets by 3
Kansas City (off) at New England - Patriots by 30
Tampa Bay (+3) at New Orleans - New Orleans by 7
St. Louis (+7) at Philadelphia - Philadelphia by 9
Houston (+7) at Pittsburgh - Pittsburgh by 6
Jacksonville (-3) at Tennessee - Jacksonville by 3
Dallas (-3) at Cleveland - Cleveland by 3
Carolina (+9.5) at San Diego - San Diego by 10
Arizona (-2.5) at San Francisco - Arizona by 6
Chicago (+9.5) at Indianapolis - Chicago by 3
Monday, September 8th
Minnesota (+3) at Green Bay - Minnesota by 3
Denver (-1) at Oakland - Oakland by 3
Game on!
My San Diego Chargers (I'm a 48th year fan...) are supposed to go all the way. The San Diego Union today writer thought they would win the AFC West and go 12-4 in the regular season. I'm always a pessimist with the Chargers. Right now, injuries to Marcus McNeill, Jamal Williams, Shawne Merriman and Antonio Gates - all Pro Bowl players - threaten the offensive and defensive schemes. A critical injury to Tomlinson or Rivers would likely cripple the team for the season.
My Chargers prediction - San Diego 27, Carolina 17. It won't be easy this week.
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